Back in Black
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: He was sick of being lied to and sick of them. So he makes a deal with Death himself to get a second chance, all so he could finally feel love. But Death has other plans for his 'Master', and he intends to see that the two bickering children known as Lucifer and Micheal never have their fight. Can Dean recover his former status as Master of Death, or will he lose everything?
1. Chapter 1

He had hoped that once the Dark Lord was killed, that he could finally live his life.

What an idiot he was. A loveless marriage, endless stalkers and paperwork, and he never had a moment to himself. Everything he did was scrutinized and taken apart.

It was like he was their personal toy to pick up and throw around like it was nothing.

So in his twenty-sixth year, Harry James Potter said enough was enough.

When he had first inherited the three markers of Death, he had considered them a curse. He knew using the stone in particular would come with dire consequences. But at this point he could care less. He couldn't take this life anymore.

So he circled it three times with his index finger, which was how he had used it all the other times when he wanted to speak to his parents.

Only this time he wasn't trying to summon anyone in particular.

There was a man before him. Harry felt as though he should know him, but he didn't know why.

"Who are you?"

_**I am Death. You did summon me didn't you?**_

"You're Death? Why don't you look like Dumbledore?"

_**Last time you were dealing with a particularly dense angel named Micheal who thought you would feel more comfortable talking to that form. I believe your punch was more than sufficient proof you disliked your mentor,**_ said Death dryly.

"So um..."

_**Why did you use the stone this time? Trying to see your family again?**_ Death inquired. It wasn't like he cared, more like curious.

Harry decided that since he had him here, perhaps it was time to get some answers. Including to one he wanted to know very badly.

"Is reincarnation possible?"

Death blinked. That wasn't what he expected his so-called 'Master' to ask.

_**It is, but it requires my special permission. Why?**_

"I can't stand this life anymore. Everywhere I go I feel like someone is watching me. Analyzing my every move and thought. It's a nightmare! And I have tried to leave, but they always drag me back, reminding me of my 'wife' and my kids."

Death blinked. Then a slow idea formed in his head.

He was not pleased with how things were going to head in a few years, and he would love to piss off heaven _and_ hell in the same move. A plan formed in his mind, one that amused him greatly.

And it would give this poor wizard a chance at real love, not this farce that he was living with. Ginny didn't love her husband, she just used him for his fame and money that came with being 'Lady Potter'.

Harry Potter had never felt real love in his entire life. Not after his parents were killed at any rate. It was time someone gave him something he deserved.

_**I can give you a second chance at family. Real family, not this mockery you have now. But you would have to give up everything that made you Harry Potter, last of the Potter family.**_

"Meaning what?"

_**No fame, no titles, no vaults full of gold. Your magic may be tied into your soul, but you would have to live without remembering your past life unless something rather drastic happens.**_

"Fame? Fame has only brought me headaches. I've never used my titles, and gold is a poor substitute for what I really wanted. I would give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant a fresh start."

_**I must warn you. If you do this, your life will be just as hard as it was in this one.**_

"But I won't be alone, will I?

_**No. The place I have in mind for you is not alone. You will have a brother and father that love you. But it will be a life of darkness and pain.**_

"My life has been nothing _but_ darkness and pain since that thrice-damned prophecy was made. How will this be any different than what I have already dealt with?"

_**Are you absolutely certain of this? There is no going back once I do this.**_

"I would give up anything you ask if it means I'm never alone and empty like this again."

Death held out his hand. He seemed more real at that moment than he ever had before.

Harry briefly paused, a moment's second guess at this decision, before he firmly shook the Horseman's hand. He felt his mortal shell die and disappear. His soul, firmly held by the spectre, was sent flying back, past time and space, until it shrunk into what appeared to be a new born soul.

Death smiled at the tiny spark. The one who had been unlucky enough to gather the Hallows wouldn't remember his previous life. Not immediately anyway, but it would heavily influence what he did when he 'grew up' a second time. At least this time the soul would know what having a real family was like.

* * *

It was the dream again. The one that always came after the nightmares that weren't caused by the knowledge he had about what they hunted. He always hated those dreams.

Sammy, his baby brother, had finally learned the truth about what their father did. How he hunted the monsters and left them all alone. He would have spared Sam that knowledge if he could.

Damn John Winchester. Dean would never admit it, but he hated his biological father with a passion.

Yes, hunting the thing that killed their mother was important, but not at the cost of their innocence. It wasn't right, forcing him to act as the male role model in Sam's life. Bobby tried, oh how he tried, to give them a childhood, but as long as their father had custody, they would be forced to move from state to state while he hunted anything and everything down. The only friend Dean had was Sam, and he struggled to keep his brother safe.

Dean waited until Sam had cried himself to sleep, before he went to one of the nicer houses to steal some presents in hope of at least preserving some of Sam's childhood. His was a lost cause ever since their mother was killed, but he would protect Sam even if it killed him.

He was about to break into the house when he saw someone next to him.

**Hello Dean.**

Dean froze. This was clearly something supernatural. Every instinct his father had drilled into him since that night screamed at him to kill it, but he had no idea who or what this thing was.

**Don't be afraid of me Dean. After all, you alone know what I truly am.**

Dean noticed with shock that time seemed to have stopped entirely. He was alone with this creature, something so powerful there wasn't a chance in hell he could stop it.

**If you wish to give Sam a better Christmas, I would advise trying the house three doors down from this one. The child that lives in this residence is a female.**

Dean took a deep breath and gathered his courage.

"Why tell me?"

**Sam is the one thing most precious to you in this entire world, and I agreed to give you a second chance once before. Back when the world was too much to take.**

"Who are you?"

**Ask me that when you remember what this symbol is.**

Dean saw a strange triangle that had a circle in the center and a line through that. He felt as though he should remember it, but he had no idea what it was.

Still, he had to make sure Sam's Christmas wasn't entirely ruined, so he took the creature's advice and snuck into a house a little bit farther than the one he had originally planned to break into.

Outside it looked normal enough, but inside was a different story altogether.

Dean found a few presents that looked about right for a kid, and grabbed them. He also took the weird foot-long stick that was polished from the table. It felt strangely familiar to him, like that symbol had.

Sam woke up to a crappy tree, but several presents.

Dean was more than secretly relieved that most of them were for a boy, at least he hoped they were.

John didn't notice the stuffed dog Dean had 'acquired' for Sam, or the stick Dean kept. Bobby, however did confront Dean about it later that week, but he didn't punish the boy for trying to keep his brother from losing even more of his innocence than he already had learning about the true nature of what they hunted.

* * *

John Winchester, despite what many would think, was not as oblivious as his sons believed. He noticed the many weird things that happened around Dean more often than he could count. The only thing that stayed his hand was the fact that Dean was entirely loyal to his little brother and would never dare do anything to bring him to harm.

But the older Dean became, the more paranoid John got.

So, one week he left Sam with Bobby and took Dean out on a hunt. He wanted to see whether or not Dean really did have some strange power...and where it came from.

He very nearly shot his son the second he saw the shield spring up between him and the werewolf. He barely stopped himself from the act, but the damage was done. Dean had seen the look in his eyes, and John saw open fear in his son.

Dean knew that John suspected something about him, and was afraid. He wasn't a monster, like everything else his father hunted. A monster wouldn't care about whether or not their little brother had a happy Christmas, or try to keep them safe from things that would eat them.

A monster would have left a long time ago.

* * *

Dean was fed up. Ever since that 'hunt' with his father involving the werewolf and the moment his dad nearly shot him, Dean had been walking a thin line between hunter and hunted. John seemed to focus far too much attention on him and Sam, and it scared him.

He didn't want that drunk of a hunter to one day turn his gun on his brother. So when John was out looking for clues, Dean tried to find other hunters, or at least someone aware of the truth.

He had no luck. And he was too afraid to tell Bobby why he wanted to find other hunters. He didn't want the man he considered his real father to know why he wanted to take Sam and never come back. He was terrified Bobby would tell their 'dad'.

If only he were old enough to live on his own! He had three more years before he could kidnap Sam and live on his own. He hated this.

Sam was aware of the unspoken tension between Dean and their father. He had already tried running away twice, just to get away from John.

"Pack up. We're heading to Bobby's," said John gruffly.

Dean gladly packed their things. They were safer whenever Bobby was around. He always picked up on the subtle queues John gave off whenever he was about to start on them.

It took them three hours to get to Bobby's, and he was waiting for them.

"What do you need Winchester?" asked Bobby with thinly veiled distaste. He cared for the boys, but John was a man who left much to be desired when it came to parenting. He was an excellent hunter, there was no mistake about that, but as a man and a father he failed spectacularly.

"Can I leave them with you while I get supplies?" asked John bluntly.

Bobby made a noncommittal grunt, and the two brothers went inside while John went to get gas, among other things.

Bobby came downstairs and found Dean looking through his address book. For what, he had no idea, but he had several suspicions.

Ever since Dean turned eleven, John had been acting...well strange, around the boys. Particularly Dean.

It was almost like he thought the kids were dangerous monsters he had to hunt and kill, and as Bobby could honestly say having babysat the two more often than he cared to count while John recovered from a nasty hunt on his spare bed, they were innocents.

Well, aside from the fact John insisted on turning them into hunters for some bizarre reason. Every other hunter Bobby had met who had kids at least waited until they were old enough to hit puberty to teach them about hunting. John Winchester was the first hunter he knew who taught his sons since before they were old enough to attend first grade. If it weren't for Bobby, Dean and Sam wouldn't even know what it was like to have a proper childhood.

And if he was right, then Dean was definitely trying to find a safe place to run to with his brother to get away from John.

Above all else, Dean made Sam his priority. If he thought John was a threat, then his first reaction would be to get his brother to someplace safe before he even considered dealing with the issue.

John opted to stay the night and research his next hunt rather than to head out immediately after shopping.

So Bobby decided to test his theory that Dean was trying to get away from his father. He left the page open to Ellen Harvelle's number, along with a random book. Dean was a smart kid, but for some reason he always downplayed how smart he was. Everyone believed Sam was the best researcher in the family, but Dean was equally as good at finding information... he just had this weird habit of seeing to it that Sam found it instead.

Two months after that, John came back to his house looking rather frayed asking if he had seen Dean or Sam.

Bobby didn't need to be a psychic to know what happened.

Dean had taken the hint and run off with his brother. He only hoped that they made it to the Roadhouse safely.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam didn't know what to think of Dean grabbing him in the middle of the night and taking them to a bar. He knew that there was something weird about his brother, but Dean had always done everything in his power to insure that he was never exposed to hunting and keep him safe, so he didn't think about it. Dean loved him too much to want to hurt him.

After all, if he wanted Sam dead, he could have let one of the many monsters that their dad hunted in to do it a long time ago. And he put up with Sam's weird quirks without a hint of protest.

So no, Sam wasn't afraid of his brother.

The woman who owned the place, Ellen, had seemed unsurprised when she found out who they were. Apparently Bobby had warned her they might show up without their dad sometime in the near future.

Still, it was weird actually staying put in a single area for more than a month. At least Jo was nice to him.

Ellen didn't know why Dean had brought Sam to the Roadhouse, but considering the talk with Bobby two weeks prior, she had fair guess. And after what happened when her husband went with John on a hunt, she wasn't very inclined to tell him where his sons had vanished off to.

Some might call it petty revenge for getting her husband killed, but she preferred to think of it as giving Jo two brothers.

Dean turned out to be a surprisingly good helper, busting tables and cleaning dishes without complaint. Which was odd, considering most boys his age would bitch and moan about having to do chores. Jo certainly didn't like it.

Still... Ellen had been very worried when Dean showed genuine surprise at being allowed to go see a movie with some of the other teenagers he had become acquaintances with at the high school Ellen had enrolled him in. They weren't friends, mostly because Dean was way too guarded for that thanks to John's insistence he keep his distance, but he did occasionally talk to them at lunch.

Because of what happened to her husband, John never went near the Roadhouse if he could help it. And Bobby was keeping his mouth shut as to where the boys were.

Dean was a stubborn kid, but he wouldn't have left if he didn't have a damn good reason to. And John wasn't talking about why there had always been such weird tension between him and his sons.

So the two settled down with Ellen and Jo, and for once in their life got to enjoy a semblance of normalcy that they had lost.

That is, until one day John Winchester stopped by to get information on a hunt...and saw Dean.

* * *

John stopped and stared.

"Dean?"

The sixteen-year-old froze in his tracks, before he turned his green eyes on his father in shock.

Ellen came out with more beer, and nearly dropped it when she saw the situation.

"Dean, go outside for a minute while I talk to him," she said.

He didn't say a word, but ran out the door. He had to make sure Sam wasn't found as well. There was no way they were going back to living with a drunk like John was when he was on a hunt.

"Why is my _son_ here?!" hissed John.

"I think you know the reason why, Winchester. Dean's sharper than you think and when I asked him if he wanted to go back to you he damn near bolted out the door. What in the hell did you do to your sons that they would treat you like some sort of demon that they needed to run from?" countered Ellen.

John was silent. How could he tell her about Dean's odd powers? About his fear that Sam had been tainted by the demon during the fire?

"Why did your son run away from you Winchester? And don't lie. I saw actual _fear_ in Dean's eyes the minute he even heard you were in the same state as him and Sam," warned Ellen.

Whenever he knew John was in the state, he would always go into survival mode until he was sure that their father was gone. That alone had told Ellen something was seriously wrong... either with the brothers or with their father.

Bobby and Ellen were leaning more towards it being John rather than the boys.

Seeing that she wasn't going to let him near his sons without an explanation, John told her about Dean.

He wasn't expecting the punch to the face once he did.

"You god damn idiot. No wonder he ran and took his brother with him!"

John stared at her in surprise.

"You mean to tell me you've been a hunter for god knows how long and _haven't_ run into a natural witch yet? They're impossible to miss!"

"What do you mean natural witch?" he said baffled. He only knew of the demon-dealing kind.

"I can't believe that this whole mess was because you were too idiotic to ask Bobby about Dean," she said exasperated.

"What do you mean, natural witch?!"

"There's a rather large group of people who are born with natural magical ability. They made an agreement with hunters long before this country was even formed to leave us alone so long as we ignore the fact they exist. There's even schools where hunters are banned from going anywhere near because of the treaty. Most hunters run into at least one after they've been around for five years or more. The demon-deal kind are considered a joke by them," explained Ellen.

Hell, some of them came into her bar a few times. She had the place warded years ago in exchange for her place being accorded neutral territory.

No wonder Bobby had sent Dean and Sam her way.

"So Dean isn't a monster," said John, sagging into relief on the bar stool.

"If what you've said is true, he's a first gen at least. I'm surprised they haven't picked him up already, though that might be because of your reputation," said Ellen.

John didn't know what to say about that. Finding out Dean wasn't a demon-dealing witch was a relief, though now he was having trouble with the fact that Dean had felt threatened enough to subtly ask Bobby for help in running away with his brother...and successfully managing to hide for over a year. He had thought they were dead or worse, captive!

* * *

Dean was hyperventilating, and Sam was bewildered. His brother had come in looking rather upset and he refused to tell Sam anything. So they had gone into town (armed with all the usual gear that they could reasonably get away with, which meant no guns) in the hopes that Ellen could come and get them later.

Though from the way Dean was acting, Sam was silently betting he was more likely to call Bobby and ask for a ride someplace else. He was that freaked out.

"Come on Dean, what's going on? It's not like _he_ showed up after all this time right? I mean Mom (Sam had called Ellen Mom once by mistake, and she hadn't bothered to correct him so it stuck) threatened to shoot him if he came anywhere near the Roadhouse," said Sam.

Dean said nothing and averted his eyes. Sam, being the bright kid he was, put two and two together to get four. Suddenly Dean's behavior made a hell of a lot more sense.

"He's here?" said Sam.

Sam remembered their dad. He was actually _happy_ when Dean had grabbed him in the middle of the night after John had been on one of his binges and fled with him. John had been a total asshole.

Plus Sam had slowly been wearing Ellen down (with copious help from Jo and Dean both, funnily enough) for a dog. He could live with an older one, but he had always wanted a dog to play with.

Dean had said that if Ellen wouldn't get one, he would sneak into town to find one and hide it until she gave in. Jo had grinned evilly and said she would help when he came up with that plan.

"We are not going back with him. If the cops come and ask, we don't know him," said Dean.

Sam nodded in agreement. If anyone asked who their father was, they would immediately mention Bobby. Ellen had pretty much claimed them as her sons within the first three months, and having a stable home had become very important to the both of them.

Living at the Roadhouse allowed them to have a real home and still become hunters later if they wanted, and Ellen was far more reasonable than John ever was.

* * *

John found himself stuck at the Roadhouse while Bobby drove there. Dean and Sam refused to even _look_ at him, let alone speak to him. They made a point to keep him two tables away from them while they debated on what to watch next weekend with Jo, Ellen's daughter.

Their treatment of him very clear, John felt like it was a real slap to the face. It was a very strong message of how badly he had screwed up in his pursuit of Mary's killer.

Bobby arrived a few hours later, looking rather irritated with John.

John winced when he saw how warmly the boys greeted him, treating the man more like their father than they ever had with him.

Once he had settled into his chair, he grabbed a cup of coffee and looked John Winchester in the eye.

"I screwed up. I know it," he said miserably.

"Damn right you screwed up. If you hadn't been such a stubborn idjit then the boys might not have bolted once I left them a place to run to," said Bobby gruffly.

"How was I supposed to know Dean was a natural-born?" said John.

"If you had just asked, I would have told you. Hell, we took him for an exam of his magic core and he's one of the strongest first generations in years! He was absolutely terrified of you finding him when he found out he had magic!" said Bobby.

John didn't say a word, but it was clear from the looks he shot Dean he wasn't sure how to handle this information. How was a hunter supposed to react to his child having something as unnatural as magic?

Ellen slapped John on the head. She wasn't letting him hurt the boys more than he already had.

"There's nothing wrong with Dean. Or Sam for that matter. Just because one of you had the gene and passed it on to the boys does not excuse you for treating them like monsters," she said irritably.

"They both have it?!" said John alarmed.

"Sam's a Seer. Means he can see things before they happen. He's not as strong as Dean, but he's getting there. What do you know of Mary's family?" asked Bobby.

"Not much. They died right before we married," admitted John.

"What about her maiden name?"

"Campbell, I think. She never talked about her parents after they were killed," said John.

"Campbell?" said the two in shock.

John looked at them.

"What?"

"That explains a lot... like why those two are so quick to learn new ways to hunt," said Bobby.

"This makes them half-bloods, you realize," said Ellen cryptically.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Campbell. One of the first magical families to come to America when it was colonized by the Europeans. They're one of the oldest hunter families in North America... I heard the line died out, but I guess Mary chose to hide instead," said Ellen.

John blinked. Mary had been a hunter?

"This explains why the goblins already had a vault for them," said Bobby.

"Goblins?"

"First things first Winchester. Neither one of the boys are going near you until you read up on natural witches. The last thing we want is for one of them to come back to the salvage yard or the Roadhouse saying you nearly shot them because they did something you weren't expecting," said Bobby.

"Until then Dean and Sam are staying here. Something you've seem to have forgotten is that growing children need stability just as much as they do safety. All that moving around really did a number on them," said Ellen.

John could see neither of them would budge on this. At least he knew they were safe with Ellen...and if they really were evil then there would be plenty of hunters ready to stop them.

* * *

It was him again. The weird pale man who had helped him before. Dean felt like he should know him, but he didn't know his name.

However Dean did know one thing. This man would never hurt him like so many other supernatural creatures that his family went after.

**Well, at least that confrontation is finally over with.**

Dean had learned months ago that the man could hear his thoughts, so he didn't verbally reply.

_Yeah, but I would have preferred never to have to deal with him until I was old enough to throw him out of our lives permanently. Why couldn't he have waited another two years?_

**Oh hush you. When you asked me for help, I told you that you would have a father and brother who loved you. Instead your natural charisma from your old self managed to rope in a mother and sister as well. Besides, now that he knows it's not the result of those idiot demons, maybe now the two of your can at least be in the same room without trying to kill each other.**

_We are _not_ going back to that life. I like being able to sleep in a bed I know isn't full of questionable substances!_

**I never said that you had to like each other. I said that at least now you can tolerate being around each other long enough to hunt again,**said the man irritated.

Dean rolled his eyes.

**You never used to be this snarky before. I suppose some bleed through was inevitable, especially the closer you get to the age you were before you had enough,** sighed the man.

_Bleed through?_

**You were twenty-six when you finally said enough was enough and asked me if reincarnation was possible. I gave you the choice, remain the same man you were, or be reborn in a new body and with your memories sealed. You chose to be reincarnated as Dean.**

Dean looked at him oddly. There were very few things that could reincarnate souls. Let alone be invisible to the average human... the only one who was ever able to see this man was him. Originally he had thought he was going crazy, but the goblins said that he had an unusual aura that allowed him to see things others couldn't. Like reapers, for some reason.

The man gave him an amused look.

**It seems you're starting to get it. It won't be soon now before you remember who I am. When that time comes, I might answer your questions. Might.**

And with that, he left.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a year since John found them at the Roadhouse, and to the open relief of Dean and Sam, he didn't try to make them come back to living on the road with him. Instead they came to a tentative peace. John would visit with them occasionally, leaving new information about the things he hunted and they would send him onto new hunts along with any info they had about what it was.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a damn sight better than what they had been living with.

During that time, Dean slowly started to form a suspicion about who the pale man was that kept visiting him. Little clues started to add up to one crazy impossibility. Things like how the reapers who occasionally dropped by reacted to him asking about the man, or the symbol.

It wasn't until he was almost eighteen that he finally confronted the pale man. He might not have, had he never found that book in a used magical bookstore about European fairy tales.

The man took one look at _Tales of Beedle the Bard_ and knew that the day Dean figured out his name had come. He idly wondered who had sold their copy at just the right time for Dean to find it.

He waited patiently for Dean to speak. Finally the silence grew too much for the almost eighteen-year-old.

_You're not a reaper, are you? You're Death._

**Ironic you figure it out at the exact same age that you finished the set,** said Death. Harry had been about this age when he first completed the Hallows centuries after he had released them.

_Why me? Why do you only appear before me?_

**Because of who you were. Before you summoned me specifically to ask for a second chance.**

_That symbol you showed me. It was the Hallows wasn't it?_

**Yes. Several years ago you completed the set, and then nine years later you summoned me asking if I could give you a second chance away from the destiny that had been thrust upon you. I couldn't take the title or the magic away, but I could give you something else. Anonymity.**

_How bad was it? How bad could my life have been before that I would give up everything just to be another face in the crowd?_

**The person you were before had never known love. In any form. You had been denied it by everyone around you, and it took some time for you to realize that the life you had wasn't worth the price you had paid for it. So I took pity on you and sent you someplace I knew you would have that chance.**

Dean considered that. He couldn't imagine a life without his brother, Bobby, Ellen or Jo.

**To give you an idea of how bad it was, imagine living alone with John Winchester after he found out you had magic, without anywhere to run to. Living every day in fear that he might snap and kill you just because of what you were.**

Dean shivered. He had _nightmares_ about that sometimes. That thought scared him more than any monster he had ever hunted.

**I told you before, your next life would be filled with darkness and pain, but there would be love in it. You felt that love was worth more than anything else in your life and you were willing to pay for it. Tell me, do you think it was worth it?**

_I sacrificed everything for love. And considering my life now, I can honestly say... I don't regret it. I would rather have Sammy, dad, mom and even that pest Jo around than all the gold in the world._

**Good. I'm glad you're happy with the situation, because in a few years or so I'm going to need your help dealing with a pair of spoiled children who had a rather massive argument over who daddy loved best.**

Dean choked back a laugh at the description. Who could possibly be so troublesome that _Death_ couldn't have his reapers handle it?

**Believe me, you'll understand in a couple of years. The headache alone that the older one has given me since his father cast him out isn't worth being in his presence. And since you essentially dropped 'off the grid' so to speak he's going to be in for a rude awakening once he gets out.**

_I have the feeling there's a funny story behind that._

**It's better you don't understand just yet. And that your memories and full potential remain sealed until it's safe for you to use them. If they realized who you are too early, it could ruin everything...and endanger your brother.**

Dean's full attention was on Death now.

**The older one has a vested interest in corrupting your brother, and the other one will try to force you into saying yes. He might even send his lackeys down. So long as you don't lose faith in Sam, everything should turn out fine...eventually. I think.**

Dean rolled his eyes. Clearly Death wasn't going to explain further, and he knew from past experiences that he wouldn't give him information just because he asked. It was better to let things move at it's own pace. Death had already been more informative than usual, and Dean knew that the entity would never actually hurt him.

He would have done so years ago if he were going to.

* * *

Dean stared. He couldn't help it.

There in the parking lot of the Roadhouse was a familiar black car. It was the 1967 Chevy Impala that his father had driven on hunts for god knows how long. The very car that Dean loved, even if he hated the driver. He had planned to get his own once he made enough playing against the other hunters at poker, or as close as he could get.

And there was a note on the car's windshield. Dean took it off with shaky hands and open confusion on his face.

Confusion turned into real shock as he read what was on the note.

_**Dean,**_

_**I know I haven't been the best father in the world. I couldn't even tell that you were scared or that you weren't one of the monsters that we hunt. I doubt this can make up for all the pain I've put you and Sam through, but I hope it helps. I'm leaving the Impala to you, as well as most of the gear in the trunk.**_

_**Before you try to deny it, I know you love the car more than you ever did me. I already have a replacement.**_

_**I'm sorry.**_

_**John.**_

"Wow... he actually left you the car?" said Jo, when she read the note from behind Dean.

Dean had gotten his license a few years ago, but he had never actually driven anything more than a few of Bobby's spare cars on test runs.

"Think it's bobby-trapped?" asked Dean.

He might not have liked John, but he definitely inherited some measure of the man's paranoia.

"No idea," said Jo.

Dean didn't go near the car until he knew for sure it wasn't trapped with something. He wouldn't put it past John not to do something to it, and he also didn't know how to feel about receiving the car from him either. He had been on a few hunts, usually simple salt and burns with Bobby, but never anything serious.

As Bobby said, it was better he take baby-steps before he started really hunting. Especially after the one time he was impatient, he nearly got his head bitten off by a vampire nest.

Gordon hadn't gone near the Roadhouse after that. Ellen would kill him if he came anywhere near it.

Death came, amused about something.

**Hello Dean.**

_Death. Quick question. Did John trap the Impala, or was that letter actually sincere?_

**I'll ask around.**

A few hours later Death returned, and he looked somewhat surprised.

**The letter was sincere. Though I did get something off of him you definitely won't like. I'm not sure if you wish to hear it or not.**

_I doubt anything John could do right now could bother me more than leaving his car behind has already._

**He has a third son. Boy has no idea about what John does, but your birth father has been visiting him regularly for years now. **

Dean nearly dropped his glass.

_He... he has another son and didn't tell us?_

**Adam. I don't know whether he's been trying to make up for his failures with you and Sam, but from what I saw in his mind he prefers being around the boy more than he does you two. I think the knowledge of his wife's true nature broke something in him.**

Dean sat down. Something inside of him felt like it was cracking, shattering into a thousand pieces. Finding out about Adam was the last straw for him. There was no way John could possibly make up for this.

Looking outside at the Impala, he came to a rather odd decision. He could accept the car, but there was no way in hell he was ever going to accept it as an apology for all the neglect.

* * *

It had been a month since John left the car behind at the Roadhouse for Dean, and a week since he had needed Bobby's help on a hunt.

Driving into the salvage yard, John had no idea what was waiting for him.

Bobby wasn't in, but there was something on the coffee table for John in Dean's handwriting.

He picked it up, and found two thousand dollars in cash along with a letter.

**To John Winchester:**

**I know about Adam.**

John's heart nearly stopped the second he read that first line. How in the _hell_ did Dean know about Adam? He had never mentioned him or left anything for Dean to find about his third son.

**Your chances at making up to Sam and me over. Consider the cash payment for the car and gear, because there is no way in hell I'm ever accepting anything from you again. I can't believe you thought giving me the Impala was going to make up for all the bullshit you put us through, especially after my magic started reacting.**

**I may hunt with you, but you'll never be my father again.**

**Dean.**

Bobby came in halfway through John reading the letter Dean had given him, and wondered what the cash was for. He hadn't read the letter, but from the look on John's face he had a pretty good idea that something had happened.

Winchester had screwed up for the last time, apparently. He could wait until he saw Dean again to find out what John had done to set him off.

* * *

Sam was justifiably upset when Dean finally told him. Dean didn't think keeping this kind of news from him would be worth the trouble of Sam finding out the hard way himself later. If he had bad information, he tended to get it out into the open rather than sit on it.

It was something most hunters appreciated about Dean... his blunt manners.

"He had a third son?"

"One that he apparently liked better than us," said Dean bitterly.

"How'd you find out?"

"Mort told me. I asked him if _he_ was sincere about trying to make up for the crap he put us through, but in the process Mort saw Adam and read his mind, then told me. No way am I letting that one slide," said Dean.

He had long since regarded Bobby and Ellen as their parents, but finding out about Adam only cemented that thought. John Winchester was not his father, and he never would be now. It felt good to finally realize that fact.

Sam, Ellen and Bobby knew about Mort, the 'reaper' that visited Dean regularly. So long as he didn't cause trouble, they could care less.

They figured it was some weird legacy left behind by their mother, Mary.

"So what about the car? What did you do with the Impala?" asked Jo. She had come up for moral support the second Dean had that look on his face and needed to talk to Sam.

"Left two grand in the letter stating it was for the car and to consider himself out of our lives for good. I might hunt with him, but he's never getting back into our lives," said Dean flatly.

"So that's where the money in the jar went," said Jo.

Dean kept his tip and poker money in a jar, so he could get the car he wanted later. Jo had wondered why it had vanished after Bobby left, but figured that he had finally bought one.

"Wonder how _he _reacted finding out that you knew," asked Sam.

"With any luck the bastard had a heart attack and died before Bobby could save him," spat Dean.

"...Think Bobby would give you the money back if he did?" asked Jo. Ever the optimist.

"Knowing dad, probably," said Dean.

To Dean and Jo's open disappointment, he informed them that aside from looking like Dean had somehow slapped him silly with a fish without even being near him, he had taken the hint and left. He did ask what Dean had said that spooked John so badly though.

Learning about Adam just pissed Bobby off more. Yet another Winchester screw-up.

* * *

"No way! You got into Stanford?!" said Dean in shock.

It had been years since they cut all ties to John Winchester, and frankly they were glad to be done with it. John never came around the Roadhouse anymore, and when he called he never spoke to Sam or Dean.

At least he could take a hint and let sleeping dogs lie.

Sam looked rather pleased with himself.

"A full ride," he said proudly.

"I'm proud of you baby brother! Any idea what you're going to focus on?" asked Dean.

"I was thinking law. Might as well put all those Latin lessons to some use," said Sam.

"And it keeps you in practice with a dead language that won't tip anyone off to your side studies," said Dean in approval.

The only ones aware that Dean and Sam were half bloods were Bobby, Ellen and Jo. And they wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

There was a reason why Dean and Sam had changed their last name to Harvelle. It was simply too dangerous to use their mother's maiden name when there was a demon after Sam.

"Once I'm settled I'll call you every week," said Sam.

"You better, or I'm coming after your ass to check on you," said Dean only-half joking.


	4. Chapter 4

Two years. That was how long it had been since Sam went to Stanford. And like he promised, he called practically every week, either to Dean's cell or the Roadhouse.

Dean was heading to the school for one reason and one reason only. Sam had mentioned he was planning to marry his longtime girlfriend Jessica, and Dean wanted to meet her before Sam popped the question.

Well that and he needed a break from hunting or working at Bobby's salvage yard. Dean made most of his honest money helping Bobby fix cars in between hunts.

There was another reason Dean was heading to see Sam. He planned to make good on a promise he had made when they were kids, but never had the chance.

Mostly because Ellen was allergic to dogs.

(It was how she had found the two dogs Dean had tried to smuggle into the bar...she sneezed every time one came within five feet of her.)

* * *

Dean was, and always would be, an unrepentant prankster. There was one memorable moment when he unlocked his creature form (not to be confused with the animagus transformation) and he proceeded to scare the living crap out of his extended family.

He was very glad that his creature form was bullet proof. Getting bruises from being shot at was a small price to pay for the series of pranks he played his family. Particularly the fact he managed to catch his brother screaming like a little girl shortly after he mastered the transformation.

It was with unholy glee that Dean broke into his brother's apartment, saw the two of them cuddled up like a pair of love birds, and proceeded to replay Sam's shriek when he realized that the doll he had gotten Dean for his seventeenth birthday was in fact _alive_.

Since he didn't want the cops coming in on him, he had silenced the room beforehand.

The reaction was instant. Sam stumbled out of bed, causing a forgotten glass of water to fall on him and roll under the bed, and his girlfriend threw something at the device replaying Sam's reaction to Dean's prank.

It took Sam three seconds to realize what was going on, and another second before he started calling his brother every foul word he knew, no matter what the language.

Dean cackled.

"Dammit Dean! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking my baby brother's gotten soft and there was no way I was going to let you bring someone new into the family without meeting them properly first," snorted Dean. Left unspoken was the fact that Ellen and Jo would demand details the second he got back to the Roadhouse. Ash had already looked up Sam's girlfriend the second they had a full name, but there was nothing compared to actually meeting her.

(Ash was someone who had stumbled into the Roadhouse and had just clicked with Dean. He was a go-to guy for finding things on the internet that was behind government firewalls. They considered him a weird cousin, and he had accepted his role as a permanent research monkey without hesitation. So long as Ellen didn't kick him out, he would help the various hunters that came in for information.)

"Sam? Who is this?"

"...The cackling idiot is unfortunately my older brother Dean," said Sam finally.

"This is Dean. The man-whore. The one that for some reason is obsessed with the movie _Lilo and Stitch_," said Jessica deadpan.

"Hey! What lies have you been spreading?!" said Dean mock-angry.

"Dean, you've slept with more women than the number of Jo's secret Carpathian novel collection and you've seen that movie more times than you've listened to your so called music collection," said Sam flatly.

Jo, despite being raised a hunter, loved the Carpathian novels. Dean read them once for the smut, but it didn't really catch his interest. He did catch her reading the _Twilight_ novels, and he had gleefully helped her burn them after she had finished the first book.

According to her, the one who wrote _Twilight _needed to learn what a good vampire-romance novel was. There was no excuse for that 'pile of hell hound-shit', to quote Jo.

"Seriously Dean, why are you here in the middle of the night? And why in god's name did you have to play _that_?" asked Sam with annoyance.

"Dude, I haven't pranked you for a full year and you actually have to ask that?"

Sam thought about that for a moment before his expression went into full bitch-face mode. Number four, if Dean remembered correctly.

"Damn you and damn that Trickster streak you have," said Sam in annoyance.

Sam was absolutely certain if Dean ever ran into the infamous Loki that the two would either try to out do each other or kill each other. It depended on how much the Trickster pissed Dean off before he realized his brother could give as good as he got.

After the prank involving Dean's creature form, Bobby had cursed up a blue streak in more languages than Dean had known Bobby could speak and swore to anyone in the know that Dean had to be a damn Trickster in training.

(Mort had admitted he was more than slightly impressed at the number of dead languages in Bobby's arsenal. Since Dean couldn't exactly explain why he knew Death and not some weird reaper that he happened to befriend, he just called the entity Mort. It seemed to stick, oddly enough and none of the family questioned his existence.)

"So he wasn't kidding about the obsession with that children's movie?" asked Jessica.

Dean made a face.

It was common knowledge among the family that once Dean had seen that movie he was instantly hooked, if only for the message that most of the kids and their parents in the theater seemed to miss so spectacularly.

Family was family, no matter whether you were blood related or not. Dean considered Bobby and Ellen his parents more than he ever had Mary and John, and they weren't blood related to him at all. It had gotten so bad that when Dean turned seventeen Sam had somehow managed to find a life-sized Stitch doll that was charmed to be practically indestructible from almost anything he was likely to encounter.

Dean had the doll stuck on the dashboard of the Impala, but he appreciated the sentiment.

The 'Prank', as it was known among the small family, was a result of Mort's rather twisted sense of humor and Dean's insatiable need to scare the hell out of people for a laugh.

Dean had complained about being unable to unlock his animal spirit (collectively known as the animal form in the animagus transformation) to Mort, so Death had told him about the other possibility...creature transformation. Creature transformation was much more dangerous, since if he had something like a dementor he could be trapped permanently in that form. Fortunately Mort knew how to at least see what it was without causing a transformation first.

The second Dean saw what his creature form was, he started to laugh. Rather evilly... it reminded Mort of some crossroad demons he knew.

A few months later Sam went into the Impala, not paying any mind to the worn Stitch doll on the dashboard...until it slowly did a full-on Exorcist move and then said in perfect English _'I am come for your soul Sam Winchester...'_

Sam would deny it when Dean innocently asked later (despite the tape recorder under the seat recording the whole thing) but he screamed. Like a girl. Loudly at that.

It took Sam fifteen long minutes to get his heart rate down and another thirty to stop cursing Dean who was busy laughing his ass off for scaring the living hell out of him.

They then proceeded to pull the same prank on Ellen, Jo, and Bobby. Two of which shot Dean in his creature form for scaring them so bad. Jo had laughed her ass off when Dean replayed Sam's reaction, once she had calmed down.

Dean's creature form? The bizarrely cuddly-yet-freaky Stitch from his favorite movie.

Mort would admit to anyone who asked that he had a good laugh insuring Dean had that particular form. Dean certainly didn't care if he was a fictional character.

"Oh, and I came to make good on a promise that Ellen wouldn't let me complete," said Dean.

"Which... Oh no. No, no, no... Dean they don't allow pets here!" said Sam.

"Just meet him before you say no. We both know a few words in Latin and you could walk circles around anybody who might be able to see him... otherwise I might have to leave him at Bobby's and you know Baxter doesn't like new ones," said Dean.

Sam reluctantly followed Dean downstairs to where the Impala was parked.

Inside was a _massive_ Saint Bernard, one that looked like it had several wounds that were recently healing.

"Where did you get such a huge dog?"

"Poor guy was part of this damn dog fighting rink I found by accident. I called the cops and they were fully planning to put him down just because he needed more healing than the pound was willing to pay for. I saw something in his eyes and I knew I was heading here anyway, so I figured I could give a paw up. Besides, I knew you were always a sucker for big dogs."

The dog whined, and Dean put his leash on him before he let him out. Sam winced when he saw clear evidence of scarring, but other than a few really nasty looking wounds the dog was still in relatively good health.

"What's his name?"

"Bear."

Bear the dog barked and Dean gently scratched his ears. The dog sat down without prompting.

"Dean, I really can't afford such a huge dog."

"I figured as much, but I figured you'd love to meet my new partner," joked Dean.

Sam bent down and said "Hey there Bear, I'm Sam."

Bear barked and wagged his tail.

"By the way, I think he's one-quarter hell hound. Not too sure though..."

Sam blinked.

"Are you being serious or just screwing with me?"

"Actually for once I'm not. Goblins said Bear had some sort of magical grandparent in his history, possibly hell hound and pretty recent too. He won't be able to use the full extent of his ancestor's powers, but he might be able to turn invisible if he has that ability."

"How are you planning to sneak him into the motels you stay in though?"

Dean smirked.

"I had the goblins give me an enchanted collar. It'll let me sneak Bear in anywhere so long as I can keep the magic up, and he's already house broken. Bear, left paw," said Dean.

The dog lifted it's left front paw and Sam shook it. This dog was definitely well trained if it could understand that trick. Which begged the question as to why it had been in a dog-fighting rink.

* * *

Dean was about to leave the area when he got a call.

It was from John's number, and he bit back a scowl. Bear picked up on his anger and started growling.

"Easy boy. If we run into him I might let you have a bite out of him," said Dean scratching the dog's massive ear.

Dean had learned by din of experience that Bear was a total bed-hog if he could get away with it. On the other hand, it was clear the massive hound was very protective of his new owner. Dean wondered who had trained him, and why he had ended up in that awful place when he was so loveable.

Dean listened to the message, and already he knew something was up.

Why the hell had John called him when they barely acknowledged their previous relationship as father and son after Dean had 'paid' John for the car and told him to get lost? Listening to the EVP, Dean realized he had a decision to make.

He could either finish the hunt and try to figure out what the hell caused his estranged birth father to call him when John knew for a fact he hated his guts, or he could go back to Bobby's and hope Baxter didn't try to pick a fight with Bear.

He flipped a coin and it landed on heads. Sighing, he debated on whether to bring Sam in...then realized he might have to anyway because if this really was a ghost he would need back up. Besides, it would keep Sam in shape as a hunter.

* * *

"I don't like this," said Sam flatly.

"And you think I do?" said Dean.

"I mean it Dean. We haven't spoken to John in all these years and suddenly he thinks calling you is worth the trouble of dealing with the fact we pretty much cut him out of our lives for a reason? And there's the fact I have that interview on Monday," bitched Sam.

"Look at it this way. If he's still there and just asking for some help, then we can scare the shit out of the bastard good by having Stitch show up," said Dean brightly.

Suddenly Sam's bitch fest turned evil. 'Stitch', which was the name Dean had unimaginatively called his creature form, had scared everyone who was close to the brothers the first time they found out Dean could change his form and a few times after when Dean started crawling on the ceiling and doing a full-on exorcist prank, despite the crick in his neck he always got from that move.

Bobby damn near had a heart attack when Stitch had lifted up a car with one 'arm' and didn't break a sweat.

So the idea of scaring the shit out of John Winchester just to get a small taste of revenge for all the crap he put them through as children appealed to them greatly. Especially when there wasn't a chance in hell he could actually kill Dean when he was in creature mode.

"What about Bear?"

"I would let him bite John in the ass for a laugh, but I don't think we want to deal with him somehow acquiring a taste for human blood," deadpanned Dean.

"So...lock him up in the car?"

"Damn straight!"


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was not in a good mood.

John was not only _gone_ by the time they had reached the area he was last in, but the bastard was still running scams and Dean had almost gotten arrested.

Fortunately he only used fake ID's when he was pretending to be someone else...he made no bones that he was only there because he wanted to know what the hell his estranged birth father had done this time to screw things up.

The fact Dean had a car licensed properly, a real ID on him (he kept his fakes in his mole-skin wallet, one enchanted to be invisible from anyone but the magical authorities which these backwoods hicks were NOT) and wasn't impersonating any authorities meant legally they had nothing to hold him on.

All Dean got out of it was John's journal, something he viewed with open distaste.

"Well?" asked Sam at the car.

"Dad skipped town. Last message from him said that he had a lead on whatever killed Mary, right before it cut off without warning. He did leave behind his journal, and I've never known that ass to leave a hunt uncompleted," said Dean.

"Yeah... and why leave the journal behind? Something about this stinks," said Sam.

Neither of them relied on the journal before, and they preferred to make their own indexed books instead. John's journal was extremely out of order and it made looking for things a pain in the ass. The fact he left behind his journal and left a hunt unfinished?

Something was definitely wrong.

"What time is it?" asked Dean.

"About noon, why?"

Dean calculated the time. Bobby should be up about now. He took out his cell phone and hit the second number on his phone. The first was always Sam, and the third and fourth were Ellen and Jo.

"_What?!"_ said Bobby gruffly. He was busy researching something.

"John's gone off the grid. He's left a hunt unfinished and his _journal_ behind, not to mention he actually called me a few days ago," said Dean flatly.

"_What."_

There was no mistaking the hint of incredulity in Bobby's voice. The fact John would _dare_ call Dean personally, not to mention leave a hunt unfinished along with his journal behind...there was something very wrong with that picture and it didn't take a paranoid hunter to see it.

"Has he called you to ask for information? The last thing he said was that he had a lead on Mary's killer," said Dean.

"_Haven't heard from him in six months, and you know he's never dared call the Roadhouse. I'll start asking around and if I find anything more I'll call you or Sam. Dean, be careful,"_ said Bobby.

"I have a furry protector with me. I'll be fine."

Dean hung up, but his attention was immediately on something else. Something that had Bear growling in warning.

Mort looked rather... confused.

**Where in the Pit did you find one of his breed?**

_You know what he is?_

**A very rare breed of canine not often found outside of monasteries. They're known as very fierce guard dogs and they can even scare demons if trained properly. Where did you find him?**

_Rescued him from a dog-pit fight after the pound said they couldn't pay for his vet bill. He seems to like me well enough._

Mort nodded. He knew Dean had a soft spot for abused creatures. It would stand to reason he would step in and save a dog, even one as big as Bear...even if it meant he had to go the extra mile to help the animal recover from the trauma.

_Now we have a new question. Just who or what is manipulating John Winchester? Because there is no way in hell that this is normal by any means._

**That's actually why I'm here. I came to inform you that the events I warned you about before you were reborn have finally started. Soon the demon that killed your birth mother and tainted your brother's magic will reveal himself, and it will lead you and your brother through a long painful road.**

_And as usual, there is nothing you can tell me about what we're facing or why this is happening because events have to unfold naturally without your help. At least we know something bigger is up,_ said Dean.

He was used to Mort being unable to tell him everything he needed to know. He had come to accept that Mort couldn't solve everything for him.

It was why they were able to get along so well.

"Mort here?" asked Sam.

"Yeah. He said that Dad's disappearance is a part of something big, but outside of that he can't tell me anything else."

Sam was used to Mort's silence, and the hunters respected it. Just as they couldn't demand Dean kill Mort, they also knew that sometimes finding information out themselves was better than having everything handed to them. The 'reaper' was usually better for moral support and as a sounding board.

Something any lonely teen growing up could always use.

"So something is up?"

"I think the demon that killed her is coming back. At least that's what Mort's hinting at. Which means we better start keeping an eye out for signs... but first, let's gank us a white lady," said Dean.

* * *

Dean quickly found out what Mort had meant when he said Bear was descended from some sort of supernatural guard dog when his paws sliced right through the ghost woman trying to kill Sam in the car. Sam drove her right into the house and they watched as Bear kept her occupied long enough for her murdered children to deal with her.

As promise, Dean drove Sam back to Stanford.

However he was exhausted from the drive back since he hadn't stopped except for something to wake him up and allow Bear to stretch his legs. He was about to crash in the Impala when he saw the fire in Sam's window and raced up the fire escape to find his brother staring at the ceiling.

Clearly the demon that killed their birth mother was gunning for Sam now. And he had just made it very personal.

* * *

Death watched sadly as events began to unfold, wishing he could do more. His 'master' had been dealt a bad hand twice, but at least this time he had an actual support base to work from and something resembling a childhood. And he now had a very powerful familiar, one more capable of defending itself from the things they hunted unlike the first one he had.

Bear was an oddly appropriate name for such a large dog. Especially one of _that_ breed.

Still, he did visit Dean when he could and Dean respected their usual agreement of him not asking outright what they were hunting. Yes, Death gave Dean little hints, but that was usually to speed things along.

It was because of this unspoken agreement that Dean didn't ask Death which demon they were hunting. He didn't want to risk their strange friendship by forcing Death to give him information he couldn't.

However this was one time he could ignore that little rule they had between them, if only because Dean could actually get the information himself if he knew where to look.

The thing was Dean had no interest in hunting down the demon that killed Mary originally, so he had never bothered to try and find it in the magical libraries. Magicals had an extensive list of things not to mess with, including demons. It wasn't self-updating, but new ones were added every fifty years.

And the yellow-eyed one was pretty high up that list.

So if Death just _happened_ to knock over a book referencing the list itself right before Dean entered the room and disappeared, there was no one to call him on it.

* * *

"Azazel," said Dean two days later.

Bobby and Sam both looked up. Bear and Baxter were outside, sleeping off a large meal they had just eaten. The two had thankfully gotten along well enough that Dean didn't have to tie up one of them for fear that the other would get hurt.

"Who?"

"Azazel of the Yellow Eyes," repeated Dean, bringing out a very long and detailed list of known characteristics belonging to denizens of the pit.

It also came with a notation stating how active they had been and how long ago. That had cost Dean more than he was comfortable with, but the information was worth that price.

"Wait, how long did it take for you to find out his name?" asked Bobby.

"Mort just gave his usual cryptic hint in the direction I should look. Took me three hours to match this demon to the description we had for what John was hunting," said Dean flatly.

"So we finally have a name. How does that help us?"

"It helps because this demon is pretty high up in the food chain for what we usually run into, and he was active around the time she was killed. So we know who we're dealing with, even if we don't know what he's up to. And we know that she wasn't the only one killed in that bizarre way. There have been at least three others according to Ash," stated Dean.

"Which means this demon could have infected the core of others like Sam," said Bobby.

"Ash is tracking down anyone else who might have had contact with the demon. But I'm thinking we go to another source," said Dean.

"Who?" asked Sam warily.

"Another demon."

"Hell and no."

"Hear me out. I asked around the Magical Bounty Hunter Network and apparently there is a crossroads demon who isn't that fond of Azazel. Goes by the name of Crowley. I'm betting he might be favorable to anyone who's planning to off ol' yellow eyes for him. There's nothing to say we can't temporarily team up with another demon long enough to deal with yellow eyes without making a deal in the process."

"And the fact that the partnership would involve a _second_ demon doesn't bother you?"

"He came after _Sam_. He could have killed Jessica before we even got back, but he waited until Sam was in his bed before he set the place on fire," said Dean with a growl.

Dean was fiercely protective of his small family, to the point one might call him suicidal if anything harmed them, especially Sam. If he thought teaming up with a crossroads demon would keep his brother safe, he wouldn't hesitate to do it.

"I don't like this," said Bobby flatly.

"Let's face it. If a bastard like John hasn't had any luck finding this thing, how are we supposed to? You know how obsessed he is about finding the demon that killed her," said Dean sensibly.

He wasn't about to go on a wild goose chase trying to find John Winchester, or the demon that killed his birth mother Mary and Sam's girlfriend Jessica. If Winchester hadn't found the demon in all these years, then trying to pick up where he had left off was absolutely pointless in Dean's thinking.

However, getting help from an unexpected source was perfectly acceptable. If Mort couldn't tell them where to find the demon, then maybe one of his enemies from Hell could point them in the right direction.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, as the saying went.

* * *

It took Dean five tries and four different crossroads before word spread he was looking specifically for the demon called Crowley.

After that, he wasn't the least bit surprised the demon came to him instead.

"I hear you've been looking for me. Imagine my surprise to hear that the Winchesters are asking for me specifically," said a demon sitting across from Dean. Sam tensed and Bear growled.

"Crowley, I presume?" said Dean dryly.

"You did ask for me. Now why would the Winchesters be looking for little ol' me? I thought you simplistic morons were after old yellow-eyes," asked the demon with a smirk.

"Cut the crap. We're not interested in making a deal, but we are interested in killing Azazel for you," said Dean flatly.

Crowley blinked.

"I didn't think you knew his real name," he said carefully.

"And I didn't think that a crossroads demon was that out of date with his information. Our last name is Harvelle, has been for nearly a decade since we cut ties with John," said Dean.

Crowley blinked twice. He looked, and really looked at the two brothers before him. Now that Dean mentioned it, he could see that their signature rejected the Winchester name completely in favor of a new one.

This could be worth a lot in hell, if he played his cards right. Though he would like to know why Dean's personality had shifted from what they had been told.

"So you want to kill Azazel for me. Why?"

"Let's cut to the chase. I heard you and Azazel weren't exactly on the best of terms, and I figure you might like the idea of offing a higher ranking demon with minimal effort," said Dean.

"So what do you need me for?"

"We have his name. We know he has been rather busy when he killed our birth mother and that he targeted Sam specifically recently by killing his girlfriend. What we need is information as to _why_ he's going after my brother, and where to find him. If John gets to him first, then we can go our separate ways without trying to kill each other."

Crowley was stunned.

Dean was _nothing_ like he had been told by the others. He was extremely pragmatic and not above asking for help from sources his father John would never dream of considering. He was also much smarter than anyone had expected.

At least Sam was exactly like he had been told.

Still, Crowley did have information the other demons didn't, and this could prove extremely profitable if he played his cards right. Besides, pissing off yellow-eyes amused him greatly.

"Agreed. Here's what little I do know about what yellow eyes has been up to lately. There was a rumor a few decades ago that he was using demon's blood to kick-start some brats in their natural psychic talents, about a hundred from what I heard. Some of the mothers were killed in a rather odd fashion, but nothing was ever said why. Another odd thing was that he was spending an unusual amount of time with Lilith during that period. The only thing I've heard recently is that he's out again and he's not alone. He's taken his two brats with him, a boy and girl," said Crowley.

Sam couldn't believe the demon was telling them even this much. It was more than Mort had during any hunt they had been on.

"Why tell us that?" he asked.

Crowley smirked.

"I like him," he said, looking at Dean specifically, "Do you know how rare it is that I actually _like_ humans enough to even feel like telling you that much information without a deal? Besides, I can't stand Lilith, Azazel or his brats, and Dean's given me more information that none of the others have that I can use. Something tells me that if we work together now it will prove_ very _profitable in the long run."

"Establish a good relationship now when things are calm and we might be more willing to make deals later," deadpanned Dean.

"Exactly. Besides, I get the feeling you're not entirely what we've been told and I intend to find out why," said Crowley easily.

He left his phone number with Dean, who gave him one of his business cards in return.

If becoming friends with a demon as sleazy as Crowley meant his brother would be safe, then Dean would make friends with a demon.


	6. Chapter 6

Dean and Sam were on a hunt. A bulletin from the magical community in Colorado reported that a wendigo would soon become active, so they had offered to go and kill it.

It was so much easier to be a hunter when you could make money selling the things you killed to the magicals. And Wendigos were such a pain in the ass to deal with that the Ministry paid a hefty bounty for a confirmed kill.

So they had gone deep into the Colorado wilderness with Bear acting as their guard dog. Though Sam was mystified as to why Dean had bought ten of those re-fried burritos at the gas station. He could normally only eat one or two before his stomach started complaining.

All he said was that it was the key ingredients to the world's worst dung-bomb, and that was it.

* * *

"Mort, are there any other survivors?" Dean asked out loud for Sam's benefit. The others looked at him as if he were crazy, but Sam knew he wasn't.

"Just the wendigo's left in here. Good. Then I won't feel too guilty about letting a Bear Bomb on this bastard," said Dean.

"What is a 'Bear Bomb'?" asked Sam in open confusion.

"Just tell me when we're close to the open air so I can get it started. Bear can guard the entrance until it goes off," said Dean cryptically.

The wendigo was very, very careful around Bear for some reason. The one time it got too close to Bear, the dog had ripped it's arm off. Hence why the civilians were sticking close to the dog and not the hunters.

Once they saw open daylight, Dean sent Sam on ahead with the civilians and then leaned down to face his dog.

"Hey Bear, look what I got. Your favorite treat!" said Dean evilly.

Suddenly Sam had a foreboding feeling as to what a Bear Bomb was. And why Dean had brought those burritos along without eating any.

Bear guarded the entrance that lead to the survivors, who were sticking around mostly out of a desire to see this thing dead. For five minutes he kept the wendigo in the mine until he got an odd expression on his furry face.

Then he started doing a dance Sam half-recognized as his warning sign to them that he needed to go out and do his business, only some of the movements were wrong.

"Go get 'em Bear!" said Dean. Bear took off towards the mine, and was a good five feet inside when he let loose the most massive wet fart Sam had ever heard in his life.

The others stared at Dean in disbelief. Until they heard the thump. Looking inside (and gagging at the worst smell they had ever encountered) they found an unconscious _thing_ inside out cold from the stench.

Bear sat close to the thing wagging his tail. Only Dean could get close enough to set the thing on fire, but not before cutting off a few more limbs to show proof of kill.

When he got out into the fresh air he removed his gas mask.

At least Sam now had a reason for why Dean had brought one.

"What was that about?!"

"That...was a Bear Bomb. Found out by accident a day after he was released from the vet's office that Bear and burritos do _not_ mix, especially when you don't have a gas mask handy. He seems to love the things, but the smell tends to linger...and I might have been banned from the motel I had been staying in that night... good thing I was able to make a fast get away before that old hag came in to clean."

Actually she came to snoop, but ended up running head first into the noxious cloud. Dean later picked up a paper about a meth lab at the room he had been staying in that had gone off, making the room unusable...until the smell finally went away.

Considering how many of those wet burritos Bear had eaten before they left, Dean didn't think it ever would go away. He hadn't laughed that hard in quite a long time, and had kept the article.

Sam privately made a note never to feed Bear anything from a Mexican restaurant and they left.

They had to stop ten minutes later so Bear could do his business though.

* * *

Sam had never been more glad that Dean had saved Bear, their official 'mascot' according to an amused Ellen and Jo, than when the massive dog tackled the shifter who was masquerading as Dean to kill his latest victim.

The dog was so big he easily pinned the fake and Dean was quick to change the damn thing's features so that when the cops broke in a few seconds later he wouldn't end up pinned for the crime.

The thing cursed Dean out when he casually mentioned that the Ministry was heading this way to have a word and possible execution for the shifter. Normally they would deal with the thing themselves, but they were stuck dealing with the human authorities, and it was simply easier to have the fake FBI agents from the American Ministry kill it for them.

They were still credited the capture, which was all that mattered.

* * *

"So you saw someone almost die in our old home?" asked Dean.

Sam had a vision, not unusual but this one had left him sick. And it wasn't because of the subject matter.

Dean wasn't five minutes from the house when his magic pinged on something. He immediately parked close to a diner and stopped. Taking a deep breath, he sent another 'ping' of magic, hoping he was wrong.

To his anger, he got the same ping back in less than a minute. Apparently they weren't the only ones who picked up on the almost accident at the house.

"Dean?"

"_He's_ here."

Sam froze when his mind processed that announcement. There was only _one_ person who could set Dean off that fast, and they hadn't seen him in years.

Bear started growling, in response to Dean's rage.

"Calm down Dean. It might be a coincidence."

"Either way, I'm returning that damn journal to the bastard. Ours is better organized and it's more accurate to boot," said Dean flatly.

Dean and Sam had cross referenced John's journal, and about a third of it was inaccurate. They always checked their information through multiple sources before it was added to their books.

Dean drove until he came to a local psychic. Evidently John thought Sam might sense what was happening at the house and was wisely avoiding the hotels. Either that or he didn't want to be recognized.

It made more sense for it to be the latter over the former.

Missouri, as the plate outside proclaimed, took one look at Dean's soul and winced.

Dean was well aware that his past life had been much more difficult and painful, and that his current one was infinitely better. Mort had been very talkative about how 'Harry' had been manipulated by someone before he was even born. It was one of the few things Mort would talk about.

He didn't say a word, but handed her the book.

"What's this?"

"Tell the idiot currently hiding on the second floor that we didn't appreciate having to finish his hunt and that he can keep his damn journal, because we don't need it to do our jobs," said Dean flatly.

Her eyes widened in shock, trying to avoid looking to the room where John Winchester was currently hiding.

"How..."

"I put a tracking spell on the last letter I sent to him when I 'bought' the Impala so I would know when he was in the same town. There's a reason we haven't seen each other in nearly a decade, and I see no point in breaking that streak for a man too stupid to even figure out how to find the demon's name," said Dean.

"Tell him the _Harvelle_ brothers will deal with this and he might as well leave," said Sam equally annoyed.

Missouri nodded and they left to talk to the woman who owned their old house.

Needless to say John was horrified that they had known exactly where he was and that he had been in the town without running into him. And that Dean hated him enough to put a tracking 'spell' on him to make avoiding his birth father easier.

* * *

Dean looked at the ghostly figure of their mother in sadness. He hadn't known she was trapped here keeping the place safe from dark spirits.

Mort appeared when they were pinned and spoke to Mary Campbell.

Their mother knew about what happened between them and John, and didn't blame them for abandoning him to become Ellen's sons instead. Dean knew Mort would see Mary Campbell safely to heaven once this was over...though he was surprised when she told him where to find her parents house and their old hunting gear.

They decided to make a quick stop to the old Campbell home in order to salvage anything of use, as it had been kept safe by the American Ministry at Mary's request. Once it was cleared it could be restored or destroyed since all heirlooms were removed by their proper owners.

* * *

Missouri decided to ask Sam why they hated their father so much. She had helped care for Dean as a child and felt that the younger brother wouldn't react as strongly as Dean had.

John had kept his mouth shut about what had happened between the three of them.

"John... he wasn't a good father. He would go out on hunts and after come back drunk as hell. Dean did his best to shield me from it, but it got really bad when I was ten. Dad went on a hunt with Dean, and after that Dean started looking for other hunters. Bobby gave us the address to the Roadhouse and when we finally had a hunt close enough for us to try and make a run for it, we left. Dean made a point to keep us away from roads to avoid him. Everything was fine for about a year, then he found us again by accident. That's when we found out he had never encountered a natural-born before," said Sam.

"John's never found a natural-born witch? They're almost impossible not to run into, especially in the rural towns!"

"Well he didn't know Dean was one, and he reacted badly when Dean's magic protected him from a werewolf. Dean knew it was only a matter of time before John came back so drunk that he wouldn't hesitate to _hunt_ us, so he made a point to find us a place to run to. After John found us again, things seemed to look up... then he gave Dean the Impala as a way to make amends. Dean got suspicious, so he asked a reaper to see if John was on the up-and-up..."

"Wait, Dean asked a _reaper_? Humans can't see reapers! Even I can't!"

"Well Dean's aura allows him to see reapers. He's always been able to see them, but the only one he talks to is Mort. Mort went to see whether John was indeed being sincere, but he also found out that he had a third son, one we were never told about."

"John had a third son?"

"One never raised a hunter like we were. His name is Adam. The minute Mort mentioned our half-brother, he got really pissed off at John. So instead of just accepting the car he wrote a letter telling him to get out of our live and to never come back, along with enough money to 'pay' for the Impala and the gear he left behind. After that we never spoke to him again until a few months ago when he called Dean telling him he was on the hunt for the demon that killed our mother. We knew something big was going on because John knows not to call Dean for anything and he left that journal behind. Not to mention leaving a hunt unfinished," said Sam.

Missouri saw what was going on. Dean was betrayed by John because his father despised him for being a natural-born and learning about a half-brother who had gotten a childhood they had lost too young had been the last straw. It also explained why he had been so angry when he had shown up at her doorstep...he didn't want to take on John's hunt for Mary's killer.

She could see why Dean didn't want anything to do with his birth father. She would be furious with someone if she had been hurt that badly too.

"Well don't be afraid to call boy. I knew your brother when he was just a boy before that night, and I would appreciate being kept in the loop," said Missouri sternly.

"Yes ma'am," said Sam with a chuckle.

He put her number under the list for psychics. She was one of only two people on it, the first being Pamela.

* * *

"DEAN!" screamed Sam.

His brother had gotten a nasty shock from a taser in the water, and despite having killed the damn thing they were hunting, he was in critical condition.

The doctors looked rather grim, and Mort said there was nothing he could do without setting off all sorts of alarm bells.

So Sam valiantly tried to find a way to save his brother's life. Dean was on borrowed time and they all knew it.

In a last ditch effort he went to some faith healer two towns over.

And what happened after left Dean in an absolute rage.

"Someone in that group has a _reaper_ on a leash! And they're using it to perform false miracles!" he said angry.

Mort looked equally as pissed off. He did not like it when humans tried to force the balance in their favor. When it was your time to go, it was your time to go unless you had divine help saying otherwise.

"You think it's the husband?" asked Sam. He knew there was no way Dean would let this continue. He happened to like reapers.

"No. I looked him up a few hours after we came back. I think it's the wife," said Dean flatly.

"What can we do?"

"First we have to find out how she's doing this, and put a stop to it. Miracles or not, only god has the right to chose when it's okay to exchange one life for another," said Dean.

He might not believe in the bastard, but he believed Death when the entity said God existed.

**This is one of the few hunts I _can_ intervene in, because the fool is directly interfering with the balance. No one would think twice about my help,** said Mort crossly.

Because this woman was forcing a reaper to do her bidding, Mort could help Dean out just this one.

"Good to hear. Looks like Mort's in on helping us put a stop to this," said Dean.

"You know just once I wish I could see Mort like you do, if only so I wasn't hearing half the conversation," complained Sam.

**That is easily fixed,** said Mort blandly. He wasn't used to people actually _wanting_ to see him. Most generally tried to avoid him if possible.

"After we're done with this mess," said Dean.

Dean cornered the wife a few days later, and saw some weird talisman in her hand with what looked like blood. Which begged the question of who's blood, because not just anything would do to bind a reaper of all things.

Unfortunately Dean didn't see the reaper come up from behind him and grab his arm. He felt something try to rip his soul out, but Mort was keeping it firmly in place.

The reaper stared in shock when Death appeared and touched the woman. The last 'miracle' her husband would create would be to save the one girl who still believed. Death felt it was poetic justice, personally.

"_Sir?"_ said the reaper in surprise.

**This one is marked by me personally. His soul cannot leave just yet...though at least now he's made a good head start towards reawakening the power he surrendered when he made that agreement,**said Death blandly.

"_I apologize, sir. She had blood from my mortal body in that talisman."_

Death wagged his finger at the reaper. It wasn't the reaper's fault, though how she had found the blood of his mortal shell was something he would very much like to know. Perhaps she got lucky, or someone had told her. Either way, Dean would make sure to destroy the notes on how to make another for him.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam blinked repeatedly. He felt something had happened to his aura, but he had no idea what.

He froze when he saw a very pale looking man chatting with Dean though.

"Dean, who is that?"

Dean looked rather smug.

"Well you _did_ say you wanted to see Mort. So he adjusted your aura so you could see him. Problem is that you can now see the other reapers as well, not to mention a few other weird things. You get used to it," said Dean.

"That's Mort? He looks like Death warmed over!"

It took Sam a few seconds to realize Mort was laughing at some private joke.

**I do believe that is the point, Sam Harvelle,**said a voice in his head.

Dean snorted.

"Looks like you can hear him too. Wait, does this mean we get to work on telepathy next?" asked Dean.

**I did open those pathways as well while I was at it. That should be fun to explain to your father and mother.**

"Hello pranks," cackled Dean.

"This is too weird."

**I should be going. They might notice I left my area if I don't.**

Dean waved him off, and Mort disappeared without a sound.

* * *

It took Sam two weeks in between hunts to get the hang of telepathy. Which was unfortunately not soon enough to avoid having to kill a fellow natural-born like himself with recently awaken powers.

Dean tried his best to calm the kid down, but he was too far gone in his rage to settle it peacefully.

Sam shot Dean another worried look. When Dean tried to calm the kid down before he killed his step mom, Sam had overheard something he rarely heard in Dean's voice.

Empathy.

"Dean... do you want to..."

"No Sammy, for the last time I _don't_ want to talk about it," said Dean, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Dean."

"I just want to find a place to crash and get some damn sleep."

Sam let it drop, but he noticed Dean immediately curled up to Bear who he rarely let on the bed because the dog tended to kick anyone next to him off of it. Whatever had caused Dean to sympathize with that kid had to be painful for him. He wondered exactly how badly their birth father John had hurt his brother to cause that reaction.

A few hours later, Sam was so concerned for his brother that he almost jumped when Mort showed up.

**Oh dear... this isn't good at all. At this rate the memories will overwhelm Dean before he's even remotely ready to handle them.**

_Mort?_ Sam asked mentally, fully awake.

**Ah. I was unaware that you were still awake, but that might work to our advantage. I can see you are curious and worried how deeply John has harmed your brother,**said Mort.

Sam had quickly found out that telepathy also included a weird feedback...namely memories that were close to the surface. According to Dean it was a side effect of the bond they had, and it made getting messages across to the other person a lot easier.

It was how Mort had been able to show Dean what Adam looked like... John had been with him at a baseball game when Dean had sent Death to find out if John had been telling the truth about handing over the car...and the main reason why Dean had become so angry as a result. The fact that John cared more for his third son more than his other two just because they had magic and Adam didn't made his blood boil.

**Sam, do you truly wish to help your brother and find out why he had acted so strongly when he learned about the abuse that boy suffered?**

_I want to help Dean, the way he's protected me._

**Then I can let you into Dean's memories and let you see what happened. I warn you, it will not be pleasant and Dean will know what you have done when he wakes up. There is some comfort I can give though... these memories are not Dean's.**

_What?_

**A few years ago in this time, Dean's past self made a deal with me. In exchange for being given a second chance that was almost guaranteed to include real family and not the fake one he had, he would give up three items of mine and the chance of a rather rare power. He also gave up fame, glory and a large amount of gold, just so he might have a chance to be your brother. The memories that are trying to overwhelm him are those from his past life.**

_How can I protect Dean?_

**When I allow you into his mind, all you have to do is remind him he's not alone and never will be again. That he has real family and not a false ideal of one.**

Sam nodded, and 'Mort' placed his hand on Sam's forehead. It felt cold, colder than anything he had ever felt before. Mort then placed his other hand on Dean's head, and Sam felt himself fall deep, deep into the inner corners of Dean's mind.

* * *

Sam awoke in a house that was far too clean. Sure Dean had these weird episodes of OCD where he cleaned everything top to bottom, but this looked like an extreme form of a Harvelle Cleaning-Hurricane, as it was collectively called.

The place looked like some hellish version of a Suzy-homemaker house, only it felt...wrong. Like it was forced and not natural.

Sam walked around trying to find his brother, but what he saw instead made his blood boil.

There was a child, who looked barely eight-years-old cooking on a gas grill without anything to protect his hands. Nearby was a horrid looking woman who resembled a horse, and not in a good way. Her thin weedy looking eyes watched like a hawk as the child struggled with ease of long practice to cook what appeared to be a very unhealthy dinner. There wasn't a single vegetable that wasn't deep fried in it.

Something told him to watch this play out. So he did.

The child finished the task and the second Sam got a good look at the boy's eyes his jaw dropped.

That child with the messy black hair and too-thin frame had the _exact_ shade of green eyes that his brother had. And the way he walked reminded Sam exactly how his brother did whenever he was injured.

Sam didn't pay any mind to the horse woman, and instead followed the child outside where he was forced to take a shower with a cold water house, despite the fact that the water was definitely freezing since it was late autumn from what he could tell.

It was almost too much to take. He was forced to watch the child suffer through outright neglect, abuse and unwarranted punishment for imagined slights. And the strangest thing was that not a single person commented on it. At all. Even the teachers ignored what was right in front of their faces and it was absolutely baffling. Shouldn't they have called Child Services the second the abuse became evident?

Finally Sam watched the poor child climb up a tree in mad haste to avoid being attacked by a rather vicious English Bulldog. The people in the home left the boy all alone up there and even had the gall to lock the door that night, forcing him to stay in the tree where the dog awaited below.

Sam had enough. He walked past the dog who was asleep but still very alert for the child's attempt to come down and started to climb. It was a miracle the tree held his weight, considering how weedy the thing looked.

The moment he touched the boy, he realized with a start that this was his _brother_ in his past life. It explained so many weird quirks Dean had, like why he had trouble with being hugged by Jo when they first arrived at the Roadhouse all those years ago. Or why he sometimes had this weird manic frenzy that lead him to clean Bobby's house until it was spotless, or the fact he somehow knew how to cook correctly the first time when Ellen showed him.

The child whimpered and started outright crying once he realized Sam wasn't there to hurt him. It wasn't long before Dean's soul recognized his brother and knew what Mort had evidently done...but he was in so much pain he honestly didn't care.

_Sam?_

_Now I get why you were so enamored with that Disney movie,_ said Sam quietly to his brother.

Seeing how his brother had grown up all alone and hated before he chose to have a second chance at being a child opened up Sam's eyes. No wonder Dean was so fiercely protective of him, or why he clung to their small family so strongly.

_Didn't want you to see this..._ muttered Dean.

_I wanted to know why you were hurting. You've kept me safe all these years and always did everything you could to protect me. Why wouldn't I want to return the favor? You're my brother after all,_ said Sam.

Dean's past self snuggled closer to his brother.

_Remember that weird Hawaiian word you fell absolutely in love with to the point you had it put on a protection bracelet? We're family, and that means I'm not going to leave you behind or forget about you when you actually need me, idjit,_ said Sam.

_It's not your burden to share!_ Dean said vehemently.

There was something in the way that he said it that told Sam a lot more than his brother would ever say out loud.

_Dean, you're not alone anymore and if I have to tell Mom, Dad and Jo about this to get it through your thick head that we do love and care about you enough to want to help, then I swear to god I will,_ said Sam. Dean knew his brother would do it too.

_Can't help it. His memories keep bleeding through whenever something happens that resonates with them,_ muttered Dean.

_Then let me help you sort them out. I'm sure Mort would be willing to let me in, if only to help you_,said Sam.

_Don't need his help. I could do it if I wanted, but I didn't want you to know,_ said Dean.

He never wanted Sam to see how bad his past life had been. It had always reinforced his desire to keep his brother safe from all harm, and he knew it was the reason why he had chosen to run away with Sam rather than to try and stick it out with John all those years ago.

Harry knew abuse, and he knew that there was almost no way John Winchester would ever accept magic was real without trying to kill the user. So instead he did the one thing he never had a chance to do before.

Leave.

Having Sam with him had made the task infinitely more difficult, but thankfully Bobby had told them where they could go once he realized something very wrong was going on between them.

Dean never regretted that decision, or the one to cut John Winchester out of their lives permanently.

Mort left once he knew that the two would be alright.

Despite what some people would believe (above and below) there was one entity that actually gave a damn about the 'Winchesters' health. Allowing Sam to see 'Harry' and his abuse was just a way to insure that Sam would have greater trouble abandoning his broken brother when it really counted.

If helping the Harvelle brothers stick together through all the shit above and below were about to put them through pissed off those brats Lucifer and Micheal, then Death would do his best to insure that they had a friend they could at least count on. Even if it meant having to deal with humans more closely than he was used to.

God, in his false form, knew about the brothers and that Death had changed something in Dean. He was also aware that they had a greater destiny that was chosen for them by his 'children' and wasn't happy that they had forced Death, the ultimate neutral party, to intervene.

When they woke up the next morning, in true Harvelle fashion they didn't speak a word of what happened. But if Sam kept his mouth shut about a few of Dean's more irritating quirks, Dean pretended not to notice.

* * *

They were on another ghost hunt when Mort appeared, took one look at the 'spirit' they were trying not to hunt and snorted.

Dean and Sam immediately paused in trying to get rid of the two 'ghost hunters' who had barged in at the worst time and looked at him.

_What?_

**That is not a spirit at all. Far from it in fact,**said Mort amused.

Dean and Sam shared a look. Sam would have asked what it was, but Dean knew from years of speaking to Death that whenever he was amused, he wouldn't say a damn word about whatever it was that they were hunting.

_Any tips?_ Dean asked finally.

**The only thing I _will_ say is that the symbol that powers this creature is rather poorly drawn. And that those two are genuine idiots,** said Mort.

Dean and Sam snorted in agreement.

It took Sam two hours to find the symbol, realize that Mort had been correct in that it wasn't a ghost but a tulpa. The two were banging their heads at the fact that because of the amateur hour hunters, their hunt had been so much harder to end.

"That does it. Those idiots are officially going to suffer a condensed Bear Bomb," said Dean with a growl.

Dean had, much to the horror of Sam, managed to find a way to 'weaponize' the almost lethal gas Bear let loose whenever someone was stupid enough to feed the dog Mexican food. They had to make a point of avoiding those food joints whenever they had Bear with them, because the dog would sniff out left overs rather fast and devour them without hesitation.

He hadn't unleashed said gases in the Impala yet, but there had been too many close calls for Dean's comfort.

"How bad are they going to get it?" asked Sam, silently admitting defeat in his usual prank war against Dean. There was nothing he could do to top Dean unleashing one of those things and he knew it.

"I'll leave it in their trunk before we go. That way they won't automatically pass out from the smell but they'll never be able to get rid of it," said Dean far too cheerfully.

"In that case..." said Sam. If Dean was going to pull that, then he was going to have his own fun with them.

* * *

Dean cheerfully waved the two morons off, the two fools unaware that he had literally set a ticking time bomb off in their trunk that they would have to smell in about thirty minutes or so. Sam had called them under the guise of some producer or other that was pretty famous, so the fools were off to Hollywood.

When Sam and Dean got into the Impala, they both cracked evil grins at the thought of the two amateur's expressions when they found out Dean's surprise and the fact they had been pranked rather badly.

* * *

_Omake..._

Mort watched the two fools drive on, unaware of the 'Bear Bomb' as Dean insisted on calling them, in the back seat. It was set to go off when it went too far from Dean's aura, which was rather strong.

Finally, thirteen miles from the town they left, the bomb started it's slow release. It took ten minutes before the two were frantically searching for the smell and gagging the entire time. Fifteen minutes in and they were on the side of the road accusing each other of letting loose what they thought was a rather massive fart after they had stopped for tacos before leaving town.

Mort was trying very hard not to laugh, but when one of them finally found the canister Dean had used to contain the noxious smell they realized that someone had just pranked them. Three guess who it had been and the first two didn't count.

Hearing them curse out Dean was the last straw, and Mort let out a long cackling laugh that caused his reapers to look up in confusion.

Elsewhere God wondered what had caused _Death_ to be so amused and asked to be let in on the joke... a few minutes later he was cracking up as well, baffling his 'angel watchers'.

Dean and Sam would later share a good long evil laugh at the expressions on their faces when they realized Dean had left that foul smelling canister in their car.

* * *

_**I will admit to having great trouble writing that omake. Mostly because I was laughing too hard while writing it that I had trouble getting it out. I hoped it amused you as much as it amused me! And in case any of you are wondering, the "Bear Bombs" will be a running gag and it will be used against Loki/Gabriel when Dean finally runs into him. It will be full of laughs for all!**_


	8. Chapter 8

Crowley had information. Dean brought Bear with him just in case.

Sam was privately surprised the dog didn't start his usual growling the second Crowley walked up.

"I hear your sperm donor is getting close to a certain gun," said Crowley.

"Oooh... nice one," chuckled Dean.

Crowley looked at him oddly.

"We haven't heard that term used to describe Winchester before," explained Sam. It was offensive enough and described how they felt about John perfectly.

"So he's getting close to the infamous Colt. So what? Enchanting a knife is easier and it draws less attention from a cop," said Dean.

"So yellow eyes has taken notice... Coincidentally what the hell were you thinking, getting that close to _his_ daughter?" asked Crowley to Sam.

"What?"

"I caught wind from his lackeys that Meg, Azazel's bitch daughter, almost managed to snag you," said Crowley.

"Wait, Meg is... dammit, I knew I should have had Bear with me..." cursed Sam.

Crowley looked at the dog. He didn't inspire much confidence in the demon, considering he wasn't even reacting to his presence. Seeing his look, Dean snorted.

"Bear doesn't regard you as a threat because I don't."

Crowley looked incredulous.

"You don't regard _me_ as a threat," he said flatly.

"Let's face it, we're both just using each other. I'm using you to get information that we normally wouldn't, and you're using us to take out competition. You have no reason to try and take us out when we're doing you a favor," said Dean bluntly.

Crowley admitted he had a valid point.

"There's also the fact you aren't even trying to get on our good side, to make us trust you. We trust each other because we know that neither of us can trust the other party. It's a bit of a paradox, isn't it?" said Dean.

Crowley chuckled.

"Definitely. We get along because we know at some point the one of us will try to betray the other, all for business. Now that is some serious irony," said the demon.

"I think it's ironic that the two of you are practically friends, despite the fact you clearly have trust issues," said Sam.

Crowley and Dean both choked on their drinks.

"You think we're friends?" said Dean.

"Well yeah. Actually. You both admit you don't trust each other as far as you can throw them, but at the same time you get along better than a demon and hunter should. You use each other without hesitation but at the same time you haven't betrayed the other party," shrugged Sam.

"Why would I betray the one demon who's given me straight answers? Especially since we're doing him the favor of clearing out his competition?" asked Dean scrunching his eyebrows.

"And why bother betraying this idiot just yet when I still haven't figured out what the hell is going on?" asked Crowley equally confused.

"See? You're practically friends, or at least friendly enemies. Ironic, wouldn't you agree?"

"I think we covered that," said Dean dryly.

Crowley considered what Sam had said though. Dean _was _the closest he had to an actual friend in who knew how long. Since before he became a demon at any rate. It was a strange feeling and he wasn't sure he liked it.

* * *

Dean and Sam discussed whether to go beat John to the punch and get the Colt, until Sam had a rather...evil...idea.

"What if we met up after the fact and then made sure to hit a Mexican restaurant later?" asked Sam.

"Oh that is beyond cruel. I like it."

Hello petty revenge.

* * *

As Crowley would find out later, their petty revenge turned into something hilarious for him to play with in the Pit. Dean even lent him a few of the 'Bear Bombs-portable edition' to leave in the pit itself just to see the demon's reactions.

Crowley actually left one right next to Lucifer's cage and heard from the other demons that the bastard actually passed out from the smell. He hadn't laughed that hard in years, even if it had cost him a disposable new lackey.

Even better was when Azazel finally caught up to John and his former sons, Dean and Sam gassed the yellow-eyed bastard out while he was in John's body.

All because they had fed their mascot Bear Mexican food before they went to the house just to make their father suffer. They even wore gas masks which was how they knew Azazel had been in John's body...the demon couldn't stand the smell!

Crowley couldn't decide which amused him more. The fact that the two accidentally found and then killed the demon responsible for their mother's death, or the fact that the only reason Azazel had been caught was because they wanted to get back at their father in a way that couldn't be traced later.

He decided it was simply more amusing that they had done what their father had tried and failed to do...kill Azazel...all because he had pissed them off.

Death couldn't help it. Yellow-eyes was dead all because John had angered his sons in a way they could never forgive and when faced with the prospect of pranking their former father they had found out by _accident_ that he was possessed and proceeded to knife the bastard.

Crowley wasn't the only one laughing at their stroke of luck. Death was too, and the best part was that the angels couldn't exactly complain because the dog was the reason why the demon had been killed in the first place!

Even God thought it amusing that a dog Dean had spared entirely by chance had been the cause of them killing the demon before anything really got started. Scratch that, he was just amused in general with what Dean called 'Bear Bombs'. He thought it hilarious that Dean actually thought to put them into containers as a way of petty revenge. Especially since it wouldn't actually kill anyone.

* * *

_In the pit..._

"You're telling me that idiot got killed because of a dog and it's inability to process _Mexican_ food?" she said annoyed.

"Apparently the boys knew about that little issue and made a point to stop for wet burritos as a way to get back at their father for something he did. We're still not sure what he did to piss them off so badly," replied her partner.

"...Is this dog the same reason why none of us can no longer go near the cage?"

Everyone had heard of the mystery canister. _Everyone_. Lucifer still bitched about the smell.

"I have no idea, but somehow I have the feeling it is," he said blandly.

The demon who had brought the thing down that far had been killed on sight. Once they could get close enough that is.

"So who's taking over for him?" asked the female.

"How about that idiot who's always following you around? Ruby?" suggested the man.

"Then who is going to seduce the younger one?" said the woman snidely.

"Dammit. What about the idiot's son? Has anyone told him what happened?"

"I'd be surprised if he hadn't already found out," deadpanned the woman.

It was the talk of the pit how Azazel was killed. Several were still cracking up about it.

* * *

John looked irritated beyond belief.

The demon that killed his wife and set him on the path to being a hunter...dead because his own sons hated him enough to set him up with a flatulent _dog_ his eldest saved and kept.

All that work he spent trying to get revenge, pointless. All the effort he spent getting the Colt, wasted.

Why was he even a hunter when his two sons managed to not only find out who the demon was (something even he hadn't been able to do) but even kill it all because of a prank?!

"I can't believe you two idjits killed this demon all because of how much _he_ pissed you off," said Bobby deadpan.

"Come on Dad, even you have to admit it's hilarious!" said Dean grinning.

Bobby was trying not to laugh at the constipated look on John's face.

"What the hell did you feed that thing anyway?" asked John irritably.

"Mexican food," said the brothers in unison.

"Mexican food did all that?" said John incredulous.

"Wet burritos did that. Be glad we were merciful enough not to give him enchiladas too, or you would really have suffered," said Dean with a straight face.

Bear with wet burritos and enchiladas? As Dean had learned, it was not only horrifying, but the smell _never left_.

Dean called those canisters "Permanent Payback".

* * *

Dean, Sam and Bear were on the road heading towards the Roadhouse to get information on a new hunt when a semi hit them head on, deliberately.

Inside was a crazed teen with black eyes.

Sam was still conscious enough to be able to keep a hand on Bear's collar when the paramedics arrived.

"How is he?" asked Bobby. He had come to check on Dean and take Bear until they were sure he wouldn't start biting people.

"Critical condition. The last thing I remember seeing before I grabbed Bear's collar was this kid...he was possessed," said Sam.

"Didn't that contact of yours say that Yellow-eyes had kids?"

"Yeah, two of... you don't think?"

"Call and get some answers!"

Sam took Dean's second cell, which was the 'hunter' phone and looked under the contact list until he found Crowley.

"_This had better be damn important Harvelle,"_ growled the demon.

"Dean's in critical condition. Have you heard anything about yellow-eyes son?"

"_This explains a lot. Dumb ass has been crowing about hurting the Winchesters... what did he do?"_

"Hit us with a damn semi," growled Sam.

"_I still have one of those delightful little toys Dean left me to play with. I'll be sure to leave him with a permanent version,"_ said Crowley.

"I'll call if I have any news," said Sam. He knew Crowley cared, but appearances had to be maintained.

"Well?"

"Son. He's been bragging about 'hitting the Winchesters'," said Sam dryly.

"Winchesters? He hit John and Adam?" asked Bobby.

"Apparently word hasn't reached the pit about us hating John enough to abandon his name. The only demon aware is Crowley, and that's cause Dean told him."

"You're kidding."

"It gets even better. Dean likes Crowley enough to part with his 'portable Bear Bombs'...and the demon actually hit _Lucifer_ with one."

Bobby choked.

"A _demon_ hit _Satan _with those gas canisters Dean's always making?"

"He really doesn't like the guy?"

"... I ain't touching your weird relationships with a ten foot pole. Just keep me out of it and him far from my house," said Bobby finally.

"Fair enough."

To their eternal surprise, John found out about the accident, apparently from the news...and he showed up at the hospital.

"What happened?"

"What do you care?" asked Sam.

John hadn't given a damn about them in years, so why was he trying to start now?

John glared at him, still not happy with the fact that they had done better in killing the demon than he had...or the way they had done it.

"You really think so little of me that I wouldn't come to see my own flesh in blood after being attacked?" he said.

"Do you want the straight answer or the lie?" asked Sam snidely.

"Do your idiotic alpha male crap outside the hospital, right now we need to find out about Dean," said Bobby gruffly.

* * *

Dean took one look at the hospital, and then saw one person that told him all he needed to know about the situation.

John was there.

So he took a walk around, trying to see if he could get Mort's attention.

Seeing a likely candidate, Dean wandered over.

The girl's fake panicking wasn't fooling him for a minute. He had been around Mort enough to know a reaper when he saw one. And most hospitals had at least one to expedite the new souls.

"Look, cut the act already. I know you're a reaper and I know why you're here. Can you just get in contact with Mort already before I die a second time of boredom?" he said with a yawn.

The girl paused, and gave him an odd look. This was not how it usually went. And who did he mean by Mort?

Dean sensed Sam trying to contact Mort on his own, but he wouldn't know how to do it. And Dean was in no position to tell him...besides, his brother was far more likely to somehow get a reaper instead.

The reaper watched as Dean wandered around the hospital, utterly baffled with the things he was collecting.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Contacting Mort to see if this is permanent or if I need to fill out any forms to get out of what I can only assume is a near-death state," said Dean blandly.

"You're in a coma, and it's highly unlikely you'll ever wake up. You had best come to terms with it now so I can go back to my soaps," said the reaper.

"You got a name?"

"Tessa. Not that you'll remember it," she said.

Dean looked at his ingredients, then went to where Sam was. Then he remembered something very important from his days as Harry.

Magical ghosts can be seen by practically anyone. And they had more control over their incorporeal form than the nonmagical ones. And he was betting it would get Mort's attention pretty damn quick too.


	9. Chapter 9

To the eternal surprise of Sam, when their 'sperm donor' as Crowley had so flippantly called him, heard about Dean's condition and how it was extremely unlikely he would ever wake he started looking for the nearest crossroads.

Bobby told Sam, who called Crowley and told him the situation. Crowley was all too happy to come and make a deal.

John didn't know where the demon had come from, considering he never summoned it, but he decided it was better not to ask.

* * *

"I cannot believe he actually made a deal to bring me back," said Dean.

"So did you met the resident reaper?"

"A chick named Tessa. Pretty hot too, from what I saw."

"You going to ask Mort to put in a good word for you?" asked Sam, noticing said reaper nearby.

"Are you nuts? Do I look like I enjoy necrophilia? Dating a reaper would be just weird," said Dean laughing.

He didn't see Mort's expression of relief at that announcement, but Sam did and he struggled not to laugh. Mort was probably well aware of Dean's...habits...when it came to relationships. Though Sam went over how Dean described dating a reaper and grinned anyway.

"You consider dating a reaper necrophilia?" said Sam.

"Dude. They _reap_ souls and can't be seen unless your close to death and have you felt Mort's hand recently? It's so cold that it's like jumping in an icy lake," said Dean flatly.

"Does this have anything to do with...his...memories?"

"That too. Magical ghosts might not deteriorate like normal ones, but walking through one is never fun," said Dean.

"Didn't you once say that that there was a pervy ghost girl in that school?"

"Moaning Myrtle. She once said that if I died I was free to share her toilet," shuddered Dean.

"Either way, I'm just glad you're back up and about boy. I do have one question though... why did you bring the dog when you went to meet John?" asked Bobby.

"To prank him of course," said Dean as if it were obvious.

"Where the hell did you find a dog that farts whenever he eats Mexican?"

Dean sighed. He had told Sammy the basic gist, but he had never gone into any real details of how he had rescued Bear. Or his full ancestry.

"We might as well sit down with a beer if I'm going into details," said Dean.

Dean was at the table with Sam, Bobby and a very happy Bear eating a massive bone.

"I was in this no-name city that I didn't bother to remember the name of. I was looking for some quick action to pay for gas, and this guy takes one look at the Impala and asks me if I want in on this hot new thing where the cops don't go. Naturally I'm curious, so I paid him two hundred up front to get in. I get his address so far out there that there's no patrols or anything."

Dean paused and took a drink.

"The first I knew that I had stumbled into something that would leave a sour taste in my mouth was when I hear the dogs. All sorts of breeds and I could hear the snarling and cheering. Now I knew something was up, especially when they all but made me hand over my cell phone and checked me for a wire," said Dean.

"But your hunter phone is charmed not to be noticed in case you get pulled over by cops, so they missed it," said Sam.

"Which was a good thing. I get into the place, pay another hundred and the second I see the ring I knew what was going on," said Dean.

"You walked right into a dog fighting rink in the middle of nowhere? How the hell did you avoid getting arrested?" said Bobby.

"Easy. I'm the reason the assholes running it were busted. Now here I was in a betting rink and being watched like a hawk. So I carefully slipped my hand into my pocket and dialed 9-1-1 and then kept the phone. By the time the cops arrived I was the _only_ one not arrested because they checked everyone's phones to see who called the emergency services. Turned out it was a group of dog fighting rinks and they needed help busting the ring-leader."

"Did they get him?"

"Oh yeah. He was there watching me and thanks to the fact I charmed my hunting phone to be invisible to non-magicals he had no idea I called the cops in. I stuck around to make sure the dogs were all rescued and that's when I overheard that one of them was too expensive to save... so I ponied up a fake credit card and paid off the vet myself. No way was I letting a dog die because the shelter couldn't afford to save him."

"So that's how you saved Bear?" said Sam. He was impressed.

"Oh, it gets even better. I took Bear to the first magical alley I could find to make sure he was safe from any nasties I might accidentally transfer...and it turns out he's not actually a full St. Bernard. He's only a _third_."

"What's the rest?" asked Bobby, who had been silent up till this point.

"Well half his parentage is St. Bernard... but the rest is, and you won't believe this... a magical Foo dog and Hell Hound mix. According to the records, one of Bear's grandparents was a sacred temple dog that wandered off while in heat and got knocked up by a hell hound. The monks sent the litter away, and one of them knocked up a pure breed St. Bernard. Bear's the only one of his litter who survived," said Dean amused.

"Let me get this straight. You have a St. Bernard, temple dog and hell hound mix? Do you have any idea how rare that kind of mixture is? Foo dogs alone are nearly impossible to get out of the monasteries!" said Bobby incredulous.

"I know. Best part? Bear's signature registers him as my own familiar."

"Lucky," said Sam.

Dean always wanted a familiar, but none of the ones he looked at appealed to him. So finding one that suited his nature really was a lucky find...especially one as awesome as Bear.

Bear woofed in response to that statement, causing Dean to laugh.

"How long did it take for you to find out Bear couldn't eat Mexican before he turned into a ticking time bomb?" asked Bobby.

"About two days. I had half a burrito left on the table in this crappy motel which was owned by this bitchy old lady who kept giving me these creepy looks. I was getting out of the shower and starting to put my stuff in the car when Bear ate the burrito on the table and five minutes later let loose this god awful fart. I had already paid and was heading back to get him when it happened, so I grabbed Bear, closed the door and got the hell out of there. I read an article in the paper the next morning saying that someone let off a nasty stink bomb that made the room uninhabitable..."

Sam grinned and started snickering.

"Best part was that snoopy old lady was the first person to walk into the room and she passed out!" said Dean outright grinning. Sam broke into outright laughter when Dean brought out the article in question, complete with a picture of the old lady ranting to the cops.

* * *

"I hate clowns, but I love that dog," said Sam flatly a few days later.

They were forced to take an alternate car from Bobby's lot that couldn't be traced back to them, and Bear had whined when he got a good whiff of the interior.

And it was Bear who distracted the thing they were after long enough for Dean to kill it.

"There's a reason why Bear is our mascot," said Dean grinning.

It really amused Dean that his dog was officially considered the Harvelle brother's mascot. If they had the dog, then other hunters knew who they were without being told.

Bear barked in agreement and wagged his tail when Dean scratched his ear. He had so earned another large bone for his help.

"So how are you holding up since John's death?" asked Sam.

"Sammy, he was dead to me the second I found out about Adam. The fact he actually made a deal to bring me back still leaves me surprised," said Dean flatly.

Dean was not happy until he had the Impala up and running again. Even if it did take him far too long to fix the damage (even with magic to straighten out the frame) and find parts for his car. Once it was drivable again, the first thing Dean did was turn his car into a veritable tank. No way was he having a repeat of what happened with the semi.

It had so many runes on the thing that Dean was surprised that the electrical didn't die on it. And Sam managed to even convince his brother to put in an iPod jack so they could listen to something other than 'mullet rock' as Sam called it.

However Dean allowed it only as long as Sam never played anything chick worthy. If he caught his brother listening to something like Alanis Morrisette or god forbid Avril Lavigne in his car, he wouldn't hesitate to shoot his brother in the ass.

(Bear apparently agreed with this sentiment, because the one time there was an Avril Lavigne song in the car he started howling like the damned and wouldn't shut up until one of them changed the station. He was definitely Dean's dog through and through.)

* * *

For their first case since getting the Impala back running again, Bobby sent them on a vampire hunt.

However what they ran into there had Dean growling.

He really, really didn't like the hunter known as Gordon.

"Well, well. If it isn't little Dean. Haven't seen you since we went on that hunt when you were seventeen," said Gordon.

"Hello Gordon. Still using your partners as bait for the covens?" said Dean.

"Haven't had a partner in months."

"I wonder why," said Dean sarcastically.

Gordon's obsession with killing vampires had nearly gotten Dean killed when the bastard used him as bait for the coven, and then didn't think to back him up when one was about to bite him. It was only because Ellen had called Bobby that Dean had gotten out of there alive at all.

He got chewed out good and proper by his dad, but at least Dean knew that Gordon wasn't the best person to partner with, which he considered worth nearly being bitten by a vampire.

"Stay out of our way and I won't have Bear attack you," said Dean.

Then they left. Dean wanted nothing to do with Gordon and there was no way in hell he was letting his brother get near the bastard.

A few hours later they were reviewing the signs of a vampire coven, and what they found had both brothers groaning.

"You don't think this is another one of those damn Cullen Covens do you?" asked Dean.

"Sure as looks like it," grimaced Sam.

A Cullen Coven was considered a total joke by magical hunters. It was a more polite way of calling the coven a vegetarian one who was likely an avid fan of the _Twilight_ series which had caused an upshoot in people being turned. Damn Stephenie Meyer and those stupid books... They were called Cullens because of the main vegetarian vamps in the _Twilight_ saga, and it was annoying to run into them on a hunt.

Unfortunately for them, hunters like Gordon never distinguished between a harmless (if highly irritating) Cullen vampire and a regular one.

Which meant they might have to help the coven relocate. That was always a total pain in the ass.

"Toss you for it," said Dean.

"Heads," said Sam. Dean flipped a quarter and it came up tails. Sam cursed.

"You can take Bear with you," offered Dean.

"Then who's going to be your back-up?"

"Hello? Wandless?" said Dean rolling his eyes. He could get off an ankle-hanging spell so long as he knew the general direction his attackers were in. It was one of the few silent and wandless spells he had in his arsenal.

Besides, if worst came to worst he could always pull a Stitch and roll out of there. He had that transformation down so well he could do it in three seconds flat. And Stitch was bullet proof to boot.

"Just be careful," said Sam.

"Sammy, this is me we're talking about," said Dean.

"That's what worries me," Sam shot back.

* * *

It took Sam two hours to find the general location... and by that he would mean they caught him first and brought Bear with them just in case.

Once he had the gag out of his mouth and saw Bear, he rolled his eyes at the vampire chick.

"You could have just come up and told me you were with the damn coven. You didn't need to gag me," he said annoyed.

"You're a hunter. We had to be careful."

"And you're a Cullen. Look, how many of this coven is left so we can get you guys relocated to a new area? The sooner we get that paperwork done the sooner we can all leave?" asked Sam bluntly.

"What did you call me?" she said offended. She hated _Twilight_. So insulting.

"A Cullen Vampire. It's the general term used for covens who go 'vegetarian' rather than hunt humans," said Sam, before he had to add "It was less insulting than calling you a hippie vamp."

"Oh. How could you tell?" she asked. Being called a 'Cullen' was less insulting.

"Cattle mutilations. You're not the only coven who practices the no-humans policy out there, but the paperwork to relocate you is a bitch and a half."

Bear barked in agreement.

"What's with that dog? He didn't even react to us."

"Bear? Consider him our mascot."

"Bear the... You're a Harvelle aren't you?" she said.

"Sam Harvelle. My brother's keeping Gordon out of your hair until we can remove you from the area. Hopefully he doesn't get shot for it," said Sam.

The vampire girl untied him. The Harvelles were known to leave any creatures that didn't hunt humans alone, but exterminated those that did with extreme prejudice, unless it was accidental.

Sam took out his 'hunter' phone and dialed a well-known number.

"_Hello, this is the Department of Creature and Non-Human resources. How may I help you this evening?"_ asked a voice on the other end. Sam had it on speaker for the vampire's benefit.

"I have a Cullen coven and there's a known extremist hunter after them. I need a relocation team for..."

"Eight," she supplied.

"Eight vampires. How soon can you get out here?"

"_One moment sir... There's an extraction and relocation team available by midnight. They should arrive at the location within two hours, please have the entire coven ready to move by then."_

"Thank you," said Sam. Two hours and they would be out of his hair and they could leave that jerk Gordon in their dust.

The girl vampire went to get the other members of her coven and explained what was going on. They knew about the relocation teams, but it was rare that someone called the team in for them.

Three hours later Sam was back on the road with Dean, Bear with his head in his paws snoring away. Gordon would spend three days of searching before he realized that the coven was long gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Dean and Sam were in Lawrence, mostly to visit their mother's grave and bury John's dog tags in the plot. While they might have hated his guts, he did devote most of his life since that day to hunting her killer. That was enough of a reason to at least bury a part of him with his wife, even if he did have a third son with another woman several years later.

Dean laid the flowers while Sam buried the dog tags in the ground...before Bear whined loudly.

"What is it boy?"

The dog barked, and immediately trotted over to a plot of land where there was nothing living. Dean and Sam shared a look. Bear had developed a nose for trouble, and this definitely qualified.

They waited until nightfall to start digging, and what they found had Dean groaning in dismay.

"Undead... just great."

"Not an inferi, you think?"

Dean noticed some runes on the casket's coffin, and shook his head.

"Definitely not. I'm betting someone found a resurrection ritual and didn't know that bringing people back to 'life' always ends badly for everyone. Hey Mort," said Dean off hand.

**I hate necromancy,** said Mort sourly.

"If we get this chick back to the graveyard and in her coffin, can you make sure she _stays_ there once she's in? I really don't want to haul a freakin' corpse around," said Dean.

**Find the lost body and get her back where she belongs and I'll insure she returns to wherever she was dragged from. I might send a reaper to haunt whoever was stupid enough to bring her back, if you don't get to him first, **said Mort.

If there was one thing that annoyed Death, it was necromancy. He didn't care _what_ the reasoning behind was, if someone was stupid enough to bring another person back from his domain he was going to have words with them. Or at the very least put the idiot on reaper watch.

Fortunately Dean didn't mind acting as Death's hand when it came to cases like these. Mostly because undead souls were always unstable and turned murderous before long.

"Sam get something from the casket so Bear can track her down. The sooner we get her back in the grave, the better," said Dean.

"Right."

Sam took the pillow from the grave and they carefully hid the open hole and the dirt around it with a spell. No way were they digging that up twice.

It took Bear two hours to locate the house, and they had to wait until nightfall. Fortunately the dog kept the undead chick inside so she couldn't go after her cheating ex-boyfriend like she planned. After that it was a matter of herding her towards the cemetery, which was a lot harder than it sounded because she was hella pissed off at them.

Dean had never been more glad that his creature form was apparently bullet (and apparently) zombie proof in his life. He was still going to be a mess of bruises in the morning though.

Once Sam tripped her into the casket, Mort took care of her with just a touch. Because he couldn't affect the physical realm, he couldn't help with getting her to that spot. The body went limp, rigor mortis setting in mere minutes. Sam tiredly closed the casket and a tag-team of Bear and Stitch put the dirt back with their claws.

The only reason Dean didn't have Bear help them dig more often was because the one time he did, it was a total bitch and a half getting the dog _out_ of the hole. He was simply too heavy to levitate.

Both brothers sagged in relief once the job was done. There would be a minor fight over who got the shower first once they got back to the hotel though.

* * *

Dean and Sam were not in a good mood. Finding out that there were more people out there who had developed unusual abilities (which for some reason Sam was unfairly immune to) was not something they were happy learning about. Especially since one of those idiots damn near drove off with the Impala simply by coercing Dean to hand over the keys!

(He quickly decided not to try taking the car when Bear objected and also proved immune to whatever mind-control trick the guy used. Bear could be scary if you didn't know the dog!)

But that bad mood only grew worse when, as they came back to what they considered home base when they within quick driving distance, they came into a massive drag-out argument between their 'mother' and Jo.

Dean and Sam looked at each other, then tried to sneak out the door. No way in hell were they getting involved with another cat fight between their mom and little sister.

Unfortunately Jo spotted them before they could make a clean escape.

"Sam, you want to put the 'Closed' sign up before some unlucky idiot walks into this?" said Dean sighing.

Sam nodded and flipped the sign before some tourist family drove into the parking lot. They moved on to the next restaurant without stopping.

"Now what the hell are you guys arguing about this time?" asked Dean.

Jo brought out information for a hunt, and Dean groaned.

"_That's_ what this is about?" he asked Ellen.

Ellen growled.

"First off, Jo, you're an idiot. Second, mom, you of all people know Jo would never drop this without a huge fight," said Dean sitting down.

Both girls glared at them.

Sam took a look at the victim list and winced. No wonder Ellen had gotten all tense about it. Most of the victims would fit Jo's profile!

"Normally I would offer to take this. However, I'm not stupid enough to go on a hunt Jo managed to find by putting clues together when we all know she would find a way to follow us and possibly get caught by whatever the hell this thing is," said Dean flatly.

Sam snorted in agreement. If Jo was the one to pick up on this there was no way in hell she would let them take it without trying to follow them to help.

"So how about a compromise?" asked Jo hopefully. From the way Dean was talking it sounded like he sided with her.

"Mom, would you object to Jo wearing an emergency port key? Or having me act as her back-up in my Stitch form?" he asked Ellen.

They all knew it was pointless for them to try and stop the blond girl from following them. So they might as well make sure she was safe the entire time and then set her up on some easier hunts.

It was less of a massive headache that way for all involved.

"You two idiots charm her up the wazoo and I _might_ consider it," growled Ellen.

Jo perked up.

Under any other circumstances she might not have allowed it at all. If they had been Winchesters, definitely not. But these were her boys, who she had practically raised since they first came to her bar in hopes of sanctuary. They loved Jo like she was their flesh and blood and would never let her get too badly hurt or worse killed.

And if there was one thing Dean was good at, it was protecting those he considered family. He got downright paranoid whenever he thought his family was in danger.

* * *

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" squealed Jo.

She had hugged Dean pretty tightly because he had given her all sorts of charms meant to ward off danger and promised that Jo would never be alone anywhere near the hunting grounds of what they were after. They had only barely gotten away before Ellen changed her mind about letting her daughter go.

"Sam, you don't object to being partnered with Bear do you?" asked Dean.

"We're good, right Bear?" said Sam, scratching the dog's ears from his spot on Jo's lap. Bear barked.

"Right. So what's our cover?"

"Young couple with a friend helping us move?" suggested Jo eagerly.

"Good enough," said Dean shrugging before he added "Not it."

"Not it," said Sam.

"Real mature guys!" said Jo sticking her tongue out at them...before she added "Not it what?"

"Newbie has to pay the landlord so he buys our story," said Dean with an evil smirk.

"Ass."

"Brat."

"Jerk."

"Bitch," said Dean reflexively. They kept up the name calling for an entire state and halfway through the next, to Sam's amusement. This was going to be a _long_ hunt.

* * *

_Two days into the hunt..._

Sam was worried. Dean and Jo went investigating and he hadn't heard a word from either of them. Bear was whining and that was never a good sign.

Taking a gamble, he took the dog out to the back lot and said loudly "Seek."

Bear took off like a rocket until he started digging in a particular spot. His nose might not be able to smell Dean, but the familiar bond told the dog where his master was. Suddenly there was a loud _thunk_ from something metal. Sam helped uncover the thing and revealed a large metal door.

He made sure Bear stayed while he took a large bag of salt down below. He didn't even notice Mort appear once he hit the bottom.

"Dean? Jo?" he called out into the dark.

At first he heard nothing...then he heard Jo's yelp and something _heavy_ slam against a wall. It sounded like something metal hit more metal. Then he heard Dean's rather inventive cursing and followed the sound of his brother's rather odd voice. He was definitely still in creature form if he had trouble hearing his brother.

Sam followed the sound of Dean's cursing to find him and Jo breaking another woman out. The ghost clearly didn't know that Dean's creature form could use enormous amounts of strength even when in confined space.

About the only downside Dean's creature form had was that he couldn't swim in it. The creature was simply too dense and had a tendency to sink like a rock.

"Is she okay?" asked Sam to Jo, who was helping the other captured woman out.

"I'm fine," said the woman, clearly shaken.

Dean crawled onto Sam's shoulder.

"How'd you find us?"

"Bear. Is that Mort?" asked Sam seeing the 'reaper' for the first time.

**Hello Sam. If you can keep the ghost still long enough I can take him to hell where he belongs, since it's impossible for you to deal with him the normal way. Consider it paying you back for dealing with that zombie a few weeks ago, **said Mort.

_Deal, and thank you,_ said Sam.

Jo was the bait, though she had Dean in her lap the entire time. Once the ghost reappeared, they captured him with a salt circle which Mort stepped over with an annoyed look on his face. He did not like it when ghosts got this out of hand.

**You sir have annoyed me greatly. It's time you went where you belonged and quit making so much work for my reapers, **said Mort in his dry toneless voice.

Jo, Sam and Dean were all on the surface, waiting to hear the verdict.

**He's gone. Coincidentally you do realize that if your mother learns that two of you were taken she'll never let her hunt again, don't you?**

Dean and Sam paled.

"Shit. Jo, do us all a favor and keep quite on how we found the ghost's area?" said Dean.

Jo winced.

"Agreed. Mom can never know how we found that ghost or how we got rid of it," said Jo.

If Ellen knew that Dean and Jo had been grabbed by a murderous ghost, she would never let Jo out on a hunt again. And she would never let the boys hear the end of it!

* * *

Ellen took one look at the trio and when she asked to hear about their hunt, they all clammed up after giving what was clearly a rehearsed reply. She narrowed her eyes, but kept her silence.

"Am I to guess that all of you are going to keep to that story?" she asked.

In a rare show of solidarity they said nothing, but their expressions spoke volumes. Considering Dean and Jo tended to get into it more often than not (older brother annoying his little sister type arguments) she knew _something_ happened.

So Ellen turned to her daughter with a strange look in her eye and said "I'll let you go on hunts, but only if I have a chance to look into them first. I'm not letting you go half-cocked like these two idiots do most of the time."

"Hey!" came the duo protests from said idiots.

Jo beamed at her mother, relieved she trusted her enough to let her become a hunter for real. Even if she was on a 'probationary' period until her mom said otherwise.

It was better than being grounded.


	11. Chapter 11

Dean was about to park when Bear started growling. He paused once the car was fully stopped and turned to look at the St. Bernard mix.

"What is it Bear?"

Bear continued to growl. Dean would have normally dismissed it, but he knew for a fact Bear did not growl like that unless there was an actual problem. Even when he had gotten clipped by a stray bullet he didn't whine.

The idiot hunter who had nearly shot Bear had gotten his ass kicked by Dean after.

So Dean tended to take his dog's warning signs very seriously.

If Bear was growling, that usually meant big trouble.

"Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean?" asked Sam, having picked up on the not-so-subtle queue Bear was giving off.

"Get the wands and bring out the books," said Dean.

Sam sat up. He had been leaning back in the seat until Dean said that.

"Are you sure?"

"This place gives me the wiggins, and you know every time _that's_ happened everything went to shit in a hurry."

Sam grimaced. The last time Dean had the 'wiggins' as he called them, they had run into a possessed John Winchester. So for him to call for the big guns, (I/E magic) meant that Bear wasn't the only one getting a bad feeling.

Bear submitted to the leash, but when Dean grabbed the wands from the small spot on the trunk's roof, Sam immediately slid it into the holster that went with it.

The next thing Dean took out was a handwritten book. He handed the other one to Sam, who slid it into his jacket.

A few previously spelled weapons were next. Dean fully believed that it was better to be over prepared than to be caught needed something and no way to get it.

Dean immediately impressed the Master Sergeant cleaning his gun by having Bear salute him with his right paw. Which was basically having Bear touch his ear with his right front leg for three seconds. From there they went to the house of the kid Sam had seen killed by Dean.

Sam could tell Dean was nervous, because he was _humming_. Dean never hummed, especially not from that blasted movie, unless he was nervous. If he started singing from _Lilo and Stitch_ (Dean had the entire soundtrack practically memorized from how often he saw it) then Sam was going to shoot him in the ass, guard dog and blood ties or not. He was not tolerating Dean's tone-deaf voice.

Bear's growling got worse, and the second the door opened and he got a whiff of the guy's scent, he went ballistic.

"Bear! Stop!"

Bear had the father pinned, and Dean could see through the open door that the son had his mother pinned. Dean only barely saw the red eyes on his dog when they burst in.

The kid managed to toss Sam into the bookshelf, stunning him long enough to escape. Bear didn't let the husband up until Dean had him tied up.

"Dean. Eyes."

Dean looked and saw that Bear's eyes were a fiery red. Probably hellfire from his hell hound heritage. Dean sniffed the air. There was a trace of...

"Sam, do you smell sulfur?" asked Dean. He would swear that he was smelling sulfur, but he had no idea where it was coming from.

Sam sniffed.

"Where's that coming from?" he asked, grimacing.

"Bear, where's the sulfur coming from?" Dean asked the dog.

Bear bumped into the husband, causing him to stumble.

By the time they got to the only medical office in town, the husband had to be restrained via spell to avoid his wife being hit.

"What is going on here?!"

"Her husband is drugged up with something. He had his wife tied to a chair and a knife in their son's hand," said Dean flatly.

Thank god Bear's eyes were back to normal. He didn't need the doc thinking his furry partner had rabies.

The wife sobbed in the doctor's arms telling her how her husband and son snapped without any warning or reason, and that they were planning to stab her with the knife when the two 'agents' showed up.

"Sammy, can you go on a food run?" asked Dean while the woman was checked over by the doctor.

"Dean, is this really the best time for... oh. South of the border then?" asked Sam.

Dean nodded.

"I get the feeling we're going to have to stick this one out, and I would rather have Bear armed and ready just in case," said Dean.

"I'll go get the gas masks," sighed Sam.

* * *

"I don't like this," said Sam.

Dean wanted to contact the Roadhouse to see if they knew anything about demonic viruses. Mort was suspiciously absent, and they couldn't exactly call for Crowley since there weren't any _dirt_ crossroads within five miles. And whatever had set this loose had knocked out all communication the minute they came into the town.

That left one option...one of them would have to get past whatever was jamming the airwaves.

The thing was that when they had flipped to see who would go, Sam had lost. Which meant he would have to be the one to try and make a break for it.

"Look, just take Bear with you. He seems to be able to smell if someone's infected or not, so that's something at least."

"You're the one with the indestructible creature form!" hissed Sam.

"Yeah, but I didn't lose the coin toss," said Dean smugly. Sam so wanted to punch his brother.

"Besides... you're better at offensive and surprise spells than I am."

"But you're the more powerful of the two of us," said Sam.

Sam was surprisingly good at offensive and obscure magic. Dean was the powerhouse. What he lacked in spell crafting, he made up with imagination and sheer power. He used his spells in ways most people wouldn't consider off hand.

As a result most of the spells Dean had in his 'spellbook' as he jokingly called them, was because Sam had quickly grown sick and tired of Dean borrowing his book of useful spells and helped his brother make one of his own. Sam did find it strange that the spells they used the most were usually the ones Dean found though.

"Wait, you're letting me take Bear?"

"I can handle myself Sammy. Besides, you said it yourself. I'm the one with the indestructible creature form. If nothing else I'll shift to Stitch and stay like that until I hear you coming back. By the way, where's the spray paint?"

Sam handed him the can.

"I'm off the make an invisible Devil Trap," said Dean whistling.

"I'll try to make a break for it," said Sam. He whistled for Bear, who trotted behind him obediently. Bear had been right next to Dean, so he had understood he was to go with Sam.

About half an hour later Sam returned with an extra passenger...the Master Sergeant. He seemed disturbed and slightly confused as to why Sam had seemed so calm when he had a gun pointed at him the entire ride back to the doctor's office.

He apparently didn't believe Sam's claim that the dog could smell those infected.

Dean relaxed when the man walked past the devil's trap he had spray painted on the door leading outside without pausing. It might have been invisible to most, but a demon could possibly sense the spell.

* * *

Dean sighed. Just what they didn't need...they were surrounded by infected civilians.

He had gone into the back to inform the others when someone rushed in. The teen was the same one identified by Sam...and there was something that set Dean's teeth on edge.

He found out what when a few seconds after the kid entered, he ran headlong into the devil's trap Dean had painted. Which was now visible for everyone to see. Bear's growling took a more vicious turn.

"Well what have we here? A demon. Sammy, I do believe that you Saw something right for once... I'm going to enjoy ganking this son of a bitch," said Dean growling.

The kid's eyes flashed black.

"How did you know?"

"Bear doesn't growl like that unless there's something seriously wrong. Last time it was that deep it was a demon disguise as my so called 'father', right before we gassed his ass. And judging by that pissed expression on your face I'm going to guess you're the son of a bitch who rammed us with that damn semi a few months back," Dean stated flatly with a glare.

"Got it in one, Winchester."

"Okay, once is a coincidence but I'm seriously starting to have doubts about the Pit's information trading. Why the _hell_ does everyone keep calling us Winchester?" asked Sam to Dean.

"Crow was confused at first too. Though that is a really good question... I thought demons could see souls or some shit," said Dean.

This was seriously getting annoying. They had cut ties with John for a damn good reason, and yet the demons _still_ didn't get the damn memo!

"So who gets to exorcise this idiot?" asked Sam.

Today had been a _long_ day.

"I am not letting the fact this asshole hit us with a god damn semi go. And I sure as hell letting him go when he'll just come after us! I bet this asshole is the son of that bastard Azazel to boot. We already exorcised his sister, so why don't we really show our dislike of the stunt he pulled," growled Dean.

"What are you two talking about?"

"This asshole is likely the same one who set whatever the turned the entire town into raving lunatics loose. Now we can either force him to go back to wherever he came from rather painfully, or we can get rid of him once and for all. What would your choice be, Master Sergeant?" asked Dean.

"Never leave a live enemy behind you," he said eyes narrowing.

"Which begs the question. Shall we go make this slow or just kill you outright?" asked Dean.

"Fuck you."

"Slow it is! I hate assholes like you anyway," said Dean cheerfully...right as he took out a foot long polished stick and with a strange motion said "Sectumsempra!"

The demon screamed in pain as his host had his stomach almost literally ripped open from the spell. Because it was made by magic and not by an ordinary blade, he couldn't exactly heal it right away like he could most wounds.

"Dean, where did you learn that one? I've never seen it before," asked Sam.

"Harry Houdini taught me," said Dean flippantly. Sam snorted despite himself.

"Houdini was an escape artist, not someone who specialized in outright damage," said Sam flatly.

"Like I'm going to give away _that_ name to this asshole? Or to anyone they might possess after we leave?"

"...Point. Now get on with it. You're the one pissed about the damage done to the car," said Sam rolling his eyes.

He very pointedly pulled out a pair of head sets and put on some music. It sent a very clear message to the demon...this was Dean's grudge, not his.

To be blunt he felt the idiot did them a favor by indirectly helping them get rid of John Winchester. So no, he was not getting involved.

"Oh goody. I've been meaning to test out a few of these anyway. Plus we still have to deal with the crowd outside..."

"I already sent Bear to guard the doors outside a few minutes after we caught _him_. It should kick off about..." Sam paused as he heard a loud blast, "Now."

You could see the disbelief on the demon's face when the dog let off that massive fart. Especially when the smell knocked out everyone in the clinic since the doors weren't exactly air proof.

Dean, Sam and the demon were the only ones left awake. The brothers assumed it was the pain that kept the demon awake through that smell.

Sam went back to his music and even grabbed a fantasy novel to read while Dean got his frustrations out in a relatively healthy manner. The kid was probably dead anyway.

* * *

"I need pie," said Dean the next morning. He had washed off the blood and even made sure that the former soldier knew to go to Ellen's for information hunting down monsters.

They got to get the asshole who did so much damage to the car and start another person on hunting. All in all, a good case in his opinion.

Bear was sleeping rather contentedly in the back. He had done his business (a rather large sized one at that) and he had been feed recently. He was a happy dog, and in no hurry to wake up.

Sam scratched the hound's ears and grinned when Bear's back leg went nuts until he stopped.

"So Harry knew that spell you used?"

"Got it from one Severus Snape. A newly-made spell at that in the back of a potion's book that belonged to his teacher back when he was still in school. Guy was a total asshole, but he knew his dark spells."

"Dean, I have a question."

"Shoot."

"Why do you hide your real intelligence? I mean most of our useful stuff is usually found by you and you're quicker than I am figuring things out on a hunt. So why do you hide it?"

Dean sighed.

"Habit, I guess. You know how some of Harry keeps bleeding through?"

"Kind of hard to _miss_."

"Well back when he was a kid, he had to hide the fact he was way smarter than his fat ass cousin. And then when he found out about magic, he had to hide it again because one of his friends was really anal retentive about being the number one student in the school. It's easier to let someone else take the credit I guess," said Dean honestly.

"Does he ever miss it?"

"Sam, he gave up his life for a reason. If he had any regrets, he wouldn't have made that deal with Mort," said Dean flatly.

Sam had heard this story. How Harry had chosen love over everything he had gained during the civil war in Europe. But Dean had never told him everything.

Probably because while there was some 'bleed through' as Mort called it, Dean never had the full scope of Harry's memories.


	12. Chapter 12

Dean was really, really bored. And when he was bored he either did one of two things.

He either pranked the hell out of someone, or did something really weird.

And since Sam wasn't in the mood for any pranks, he chose option two.

Hence why he was currently being used as a snuggle buddy for Bear, who loved his creature form. As Sam had so aptly put it, Dean's creature form was practically Bear's "puppy".

Which left Sam the one stuck driving them everywhere. If anyone asked, he had a fight with Dean again and his brother had offered the Impala.

To those in the know, he simply stated that Dean was bored and that usually shut anyone asking up. It was never a good thing when Dean was bored. Especially since Dean knew a shit ton of prank spells.

So Dean took a nice little nap with Bear keeping him firmly between his massive paws. A few cooling charms on his fur kept them both comfortable, and besides he rarely got to go around as Stitch for fun.

Sam put up with it for one reason, and one reason only. It shut his brother up and kept Dean out of his hair for a few hours if he was lucky.

Instead Dean stayed like that for two whole days because he was just that bored.

He almost turned back when someone shot at Sam from above the hotel roof.

Dean crawled up the roof invisible (Sam had helpfully charmed his fur with the disillusionment spell) and found... Gordon, the asshole vampire hunter?

He might not have been any good at legilmency, but the second he saw Gordon was aiming _directly_ at Sam, Dean knew he had to do something.

So he decided to be a bigger asshole than the guy aiming at his brother.

Dean cackled, loudly from behind Gordon. It wasn't his usual prankster cackle, but the one that usually freaked Mort out for some weird reason.

Gordon damn near jumped out of his skin, and then he made the worst mistake he could.

He took out his hand gun and took a wild guess as to where Dean was before he started shooting.

Because the gun wasn't silenced, Dean didn't have to do more than break the bastard's leg in two places to make it impossible for him to escape the cops. All it would take was Sam's statement about him shooting them for no reason and Gordon would be jail bait for the familiars that happened to be doing time.

And Dean fully intended to let them know which prison this bastard was going to so they could send a few people in. To pay their...respects...as it were.

* * *

"I hate people named Ron. I don't know why, but this only cements my hate towards people with the name Ron," said Dean. They were in a bank, held hostage by an idiot who happened to spot a damn shifter and decided to play hero.

To top it all off, the idiot shared the same name as Harry's former best friend... Ron Weasly. It was either a huge coincidence or one of the universe's cosmic jokes that anyone named Ron was a complete idiot. Dean was betting on it being the latter.

"Right now I agree with you," muttered Sam under his breath.

"If he lives through this I'm dropping a permanent bomb on his ass," said Dean sourly. Sam nodded in agreement.

(Un?)Fortunately for Ron, he was killed by a sniper's bullet. Idiot just had to stand in the light.

"Damn. Okay, since that moron's dead, there's only one thing to do. Bear, find the damn shifter so we can leave already," said Dean.

Bear, who had been quiet and hiding under his enchanted collar, started sniffing for anything not human. It took him two minutes.

Dean expertly threw a conjured silver knife at the shifter, before they used a disillusionment spell to duck out a side door with the dog. Because they had parked far enough away that the bank's outside cameras wouldn't identify them later, it was easy making a break for it. And the fact they had gone under disguise insured no one would pin the death on Dean and Sam Harvelle.

Besides, they had made sure to short out the inner security cameras a few minutes after entering the place. Not like anyone would notice that fact until it was too late to stop them.

* * *

Dean was about to dispute the idea of angels when Mort appeared. So he decided to ask the one person who would know if angels really did exist or not definitively.

_Mort, yes or no on the existence of angels?_

**Angels are real, and most of them are bigger assholes than most humans you know. The higher the angel, the more arrogance they tend to have. There was this one arch angel who was at least tolerable, but he left heaven centuries ago to avoid getting caught up in his brother's argument,** said Mort immediately.

Sam looked triumphant at the knowledge that angels did in fact exist.

_So what do they look like?_ Sam asked.

**Like giant pillars of light. You know that series Dean likes to watch but always denies he's a sci-fi fan?**

_I am not a fan of **Stargate SG-1**!_

_Yeah?_

**Angels are pretty much transcending beings who just happen to share space with the souls of the dead. Again, they are complete arrogant assholes by Dean's usual definition. Basically they are like the Ancients of Dean's favorite sci-fi series.**

_Fine. Are we dealing with an angel or not?_

**Describe the signs or signals given. I can at least tell you if it is one, but I'm fairly certain it's not. I would have sensed one if it were anywhere near Dean.**

_Well the people chosen say they saw a pillar of light, and that the angel told them who to go after. Said there would be a pretty clear sign and they would know when they saw it._

**Was this directly from the angel?**

_From what we can tell, yes._

**And the people you spoke to were sane and heard clear English?**

_Yes to both,_ said Sam.

**Then it's definitely no angel. Angels have to take vessels in order to speak to humans and when they do try to speak without them, they have the worst tendency to use Enochian, which is the language of heaven. Also, very few people can hear Angels without going insane, and to see an angel's true form will lead to their eyes being burnt out of their skull.**

_Let me guess. Being from a higher plane makes it difficult to communicate, let alone see them?_

**Precisely. Again, I would have _felt_ if it was an angel. I am rather partial to Dean after all.**

Sam snorted. Dean was fond of Mort, even if he was a cryptic jerk sometimes.

"Well at least Mort cleared that up before we made fools of ourselves. Though I am glad to know angels exist," said Sam.

"They sound like dicks with wings to be honest," said Dean flatly.

Mort snorted. That was an understatement.

"So it's not an angel. Let's find out what it really is then... Uh, Mort? Is this thing a shifter?"

**No.**

"Good. Last one involved some moron by the name of Ron and he really pissed me off."

It took Dean and Sam two days to figure out it was the priest who had been murdered at the church, and another hour to convince the current one to lead the last rites. That was all Mort would say on how to deal with the ghost. The brothers weren't exactly comfortable salting and burning a priest's bones.

Dean was in such a foul mood that he turned into Stitch and refused to change back for two days.

* * *

Dean was in a right state of panic. Sam had gone out for dinner and hadn't returned in hours. He had waited as long as he could, before he started blowing up people's phones.

Sam was nowhere to be found.

A few days later, Sam called him, and he sounded like he was in pain.

"_Dean? Come quick. I can only keep control for so long before..."_

"Sam! Location! Hell, send me a visual!" said Dean.

He was suddenly hit with a visual of a crappy motel room. He grabbed Bear, his wand, and a demon-killing knife and apparated straight to his brother. His car had an internal port key spell on it that would send it straight to Bobby's if he said the key word and sent a pulse of magic to that area. He activated it before he left. Bobby would know Dean found Sam and didn't want to waste time.

The first thing Bear did when they landed... was pin Sam to the floor, snarling with hellfire in his eyes. That could only mean one thing...Sam was possessed by a demon.

Dean growled and stared the ritual. Contrary to what Sam thought, he _did_ know the words to the damn thing, but he had this habit of looking it up anyway to avoid screwing it up in the heat of the fight.

Sam didn't even try to fight it, he pushed with his magic and the demon went out screaming.

Bear let him up when the demon was completely gone.

"You alright Sammy?"

"Yeah," said Sam hoarsely. That was brutal.

"How the hell did that thing get the jump on you?"

"How should I know? Dammit, this is why we shouldn't put off looking up spells to make us safe from this shit!" said Sam.

"Hopefully Bobby will know something to keep them out," said Dean, rubbing his brother's back. He noticed that Sam had some fresh blood on his shirt.

"Sam, do a trace spell. We need to find the owner of that blood," said Dean.

Sam grimaced but did a trace spell. It took them a few hours, but they managed to get to the house in time to save the hunter.

Fortunately Dean's search for his brother was wide spread enough that the guy didn't shoot Sam on sight for the attack. That and he didn't react to the word "Christo" like he had before.

A few days after Dean found his brother, they got matching tattoos. Both were designed primarily to keep demons out of their bodies.

* * *

"I have a hunt for you two. Something to cheer Dean up after that whole possession fiasco," said Bobby. Dean had been relieved that the hunter would make a full recovery, but pissed that his brother had been the poor bastard the demon had used to get to him.

As a result, Dean was depressed as hell.

"What is it?" asked Sam.

"Not what. Who. I've gotten word Loki is active in a college campus...all signs point to him anyway," said Bobby.

"Loki, as in the pagan Trickster god? You're right, that definitely will cheer Dean up," said Sam grinning.

A chance to prank Loki? Dean wouldn't dare pass that up!

"So what's the hunt Sammy?"

"Oh, I'm not spoiling this surprise."

"What surprise?" asked Dean looking at him.

"What is the one monster you've always wanted a run-in with?"

"No."

"Yup. All signs point to one thing."

Dean's grin was more than a little predatory. The one thing he wanted to hunt was Loki, if only to start an all out prank war.

"So we're going to hunt Loki?"

"Bobby said it would cheer you up to hear Loki was nearby," said Sam grinning.

"Oh this is going to be so much fun!"

* * *

Dean was trying and barely succeeding in keeping the evil grin off his face. The 'janitor' seemed to sense he was holding something back, but didn't know what. So they played a little game.

Loki kept leaving little clues, Dean would pretend to follow up on them... he even got the pagan to jump when he groped him. It was hilarious seeing Loki spin around and hearing Dean's fake apologies about how he thought the Trickster was a girl.

Seeing the look Loki shot him in return made the entire thing worth it.

Dean was chortling in their shared motel room.

"Did you see his _face_?" said Dean.

"Like someone had slapped him with a fish!" cackled Sam.

Pranking the Trickster, totally worth whatever he tried to come up with later.

And best part of it was that Loki clearly thought they were still trying to kill him! It was hysterical!

"Wonder what it would take for him to figure out this is a prank war geared against him?"

"Probably not until someone clues him in!"

Suddenly Dean's phone went off. It was Bobby.

"_Having fun yet idjit?"_

"Hell yes! I might have to ask Mort to give me Loki's location next time I'm bored!" cackled Dean.

"_Better him than us,_" said Bobby flatly.


	13. Chapter 13

Gabriel, hiding as Loki, was bored. Pranking the Winchesters had been amusing, but that had gotten boring rather quick when he found out they had a rescue dog in the back seat of Dean's precious car...and from the way the dog reacted he realized it belonged to the paranoid older brother and not the younger like he assumed.

Then he heard Dean ask the dog where the bone he had snapped into existence had come from, only to hear a chuffing woof in response. Dean took that as a sign it _wasn't_ Sam who had let the air out of his tires (Gabriel had a soft spot for dogs himself, and he didn't want the pooch to get sick trying to find the stinky fish he was originally going to leave in the car) and the two went back to their room. Which Gabriel had left alone after messing with Sam's laptop.

The only reason he _didn't _hear Dean's whispered conversation on how to prank the Trickster back was because like quite a few people (including a ravenous horde of fan girls Dean had quite happily left behind when he was Harry) he believed the brothers to be in an incestuous relationship.

Oh how Gabriel would later regret not paying more attention to the two. Especially after Dean's revenge kicked in.

* * *

"So we sure this guy is really a Trickster?"

"Ten bucks says it has to be the janitor. Mort practically had an evil look on his face when he spotted that one," said Dean.

"Right... So what are we going to do to 'repay' him for the crap he's put us through?"

"He's definitely got a soft spot for dogs. Did you see the size of that bone Bear was eating when we came out?"

"I thought that was your doing. You treat him almost as good as you treat the car," admitted Sam.

"Dude, it was a fucking dino-sized bone. Where the hell would I have hidden that thing in the Impala?" scoffed Dean.

Sam privately conceded his point.

"Okay, I vote ten wet burritos and one enchilada."

"Good, but I was thinking a revenge prank first... see how he likes being scared the crap out of," said Dean.

"Exorcist Stitch?" guess Sam.

"Damn straight. Good thing Bear doesn't mind playing fetch with my creature form," smirked Dean.

Bear loved the Stitch doll on the dash board. Sam once joked it was his 'baby' in the car. Occasionally Sam had seen Dean being carried around like a puppy by his dog, Bear wagging his tail happy as could be. He had pictures.

"I was thinking we send Bear in first, and get the Trickster to play 'fetch' with the 'doll'. Then, once he's about to throw me again I'll do my exorcist bit and the insane cackle that always gives Crow the wiggins for some reason."

Sam and Dean didn't even react when Mort appeared.

**Did I hear the word prank and Trickster in the same sentence?** The 'reaper' asked hopefully.

_We're planning to repay the jerk for messing with our stuff. And I promise a slightly-wet Bear Bomb._

**I want pictures, and lots of them, plus the guarantee that you'll stay long enough to see how long he takes to wake up again once Bear unleashes his best weapon,**said Mort immediately.

Mort had a score to settle with a certain pain-in-the-ass arch angel, and this was the perfect time to do it. Besides, watching people's reactions to Bear's little gas problem after eating Mexican food was always fun.

_We're all ears for suggestions,_ said Dean eagerly. It wasn't often they could get Mort into a Harvelle Prank session.

* * *

Gabriel didn't notice the camera, but he did wonder why the hunters were sending in their dog first with a toy. It looked like something he had seen once on a Disney poster, but he couldn't remember which.

It was pretty clear what the dog wanted.

Gabriel chuckled and threw the doll almost into a chair, and the dog picked it up gently like it was a puppy when it brought the thing back. A few more throws, and the dog was wagging it's tail like mad.

He was about to throw it onto the stage when the 'doll' suddenly turned it's head a full three-sixty and did this freaky cackle that scared the living crap out of him...before it said in a really creepy voice that sounded like some sort of twisted parody of a child speaking _"I'm coming for you Loki..."_

Gabriel took one look at the thing's eyes and shit himself from shock. The 'doll' which clearly _wasn't _a doll turned into some sort of weird ball and started rolling right out the door. The dog chuffed in amusement and Gabriel was about to leave when he heard the doors clearly lock from outside.

Wondering what the hell was going on, he then noticed said canine doing a really weird dance.

That was the last thing he remembered before this Father-awful smell hit his nose after the dog let loose a tremendous fart that he would later swear shook dust off the rafters above him.

Dean had a stop watch in one hand and a gas mask in the other. The moment he heard movement he put the mask on and waited for Loki to come to the door trying to escape the smell.

Eleven wet burritos, one enchilada and two churros tended to make it pretty rank. He almost pitied whoever tried to get the smell out later.

Seeing Loki stumble out of the auditorium, Dean hit the timer. Eleven minutes wasn't bad after that sort of Bear Bomb.

"Dear gods what is that awful smell from?!" said Loki gasping for fresh air.

"Mexican food,"said Sam and Dean in unison. Dean suddenly sniffed the air.

"Dude... did you actually _shit_ yourself when I did my exorcist routine?"

Loki suddenly stiffened and realized that yes, there was a mess in his briefs he hadn't noticed.

"I was never here and that never happened," said Loki flatly.

"You think we're really _not_ going to crow to other hunters that we out-pranked a Trickster?" said Dean grinning from ear to ear.

Loki narrowed his eyes at him. Ass.

"So how did you like Bear's surprise?"

"You named a dog Bear?"

"Have you _seen_ how big my dog is?" countered Dean.

"Touche Winchester," said Loki. Dean and Sam both had it with people getting their last name wrong. They slapped him on the head in perfect sync.

"OW! What was that for?!"

"We're the Harvelle brothers, not Winchesters," they said in open annoyance.

"Say what now?"

"Dude, you were just pranked by the Harvelle brothers and you didn't know it?" said Dean.

"Back up a minute, since when the hell are you two not Winchesters?!" said Loki bewildered.

"We haven't been going by Winchester for over ten years now," said Sam rolling his eyes.

"Why is it that only the magical creatures ever get our name right?" complained Dean.

"So are you two going to kill me or what?"

Sam and Dean cocked their head, as did Bear.

"Why would we want to kill you?" asked Sam, honestly confused.

"Uh, I did kill two humans?" said Loki.

"Yeah, and? They were almost bigger assholes than the angels, at least according to Mort."

"Who's Mort?"

"Panama, 1741. He still has pictures," said Dean.

Loki's eyes doubled in size almost comically.

"Holy shit. How the hell did you two idiots meet _him_ and live?"

"What? For a reaper he's not that bad," said Sam. Dean choked back a laugh.

"A reaper? You actually think that guy is... You didn't tell him?" said Loki, taking an educated guess Dean at least knew who Mort really was.

"Mort gave the last Marauder a second chance, and yes I do know who Mort actually is. Frankly it's easier just to tell people I see reapers," said Dean.

"Wait, what? Okay, now I really need to have a chat with 'Mort'," said Loki, eyes narrowing.

"By the way, the official score is now Harvelle's 1, Loki 0," said Dean smirking. He grabbed Bear and Sam took that as their queue to leave.

Loki was very surprised that they disappeared with an audible crack.

* * *

Dean would later giggle evilly when Mort showed them a memory of his chat with Loki. It was like someone had slapped him repeatedly with flowers. They couldn't hear what was said, but from the look on Loki's face it was definitely something he wasn't expecting. Then Mort mentioned the real reason the brothers had sought out the Trickster and he grew a rather devious face.

Now that finally crack Dean had made before leaving made a lot more sense.

**By the way, Loki says the next time you get bored, look him up and then you'll have a real prank war on your hands. He seemed very impressed by you two,** said Mort amused.

_How did he like the news that the Marauders live again in the form of the Harvelle siblings?_

Jo had a prankster streak too, but she rarely got to use it on anyone outside of boys who dumped her for another. The last guy who dumped her had been before prom, and that guy still _cried_ if he thought Jo was in the same state as him.

Dean was proud to say he taught her most of the pranks she still used on people who pissed her off.

* * *

Dean was in Stitch mode again. He seemed to be spending a lot of time in his creature form.

Today they were on the hunt for a rogue werewolf. One who already had a victim that survived.

Chances were they would have to get the Ministry to relocate the poor idiot who got bit. It wouldn't be the first time.

However since Stitch had night vision (strange as that was) Dean knew it would be a better idea to stay in creature form and let Sam handle this with input from the 'walkie talkie' inside the 'doll'. Which was their cover for why Stitch could talk with minimal lip movement.

Oh, and it freaked the hell out of people in the process until Sam explained.

That didn't stop people from asking why Bear carried the doll everywhere like it was his baby.

"So you going to stay like that the entire hunt?" asked Sam casually.

"_I'm bored and Mort has no idea where Loki is. So yes,"_ said Stitch.

Dean plus boredom always meant bad things...for others.

"Whatever. Good thing I know how to cast a doppelganger spell, otherwise I would be on my own," said Sam rolling his eyes.

Sam had to learn that spell to deal with rather annoying fan girls who were interesting in dating the tallest guy on campus. It had been a relief finding Jess. It was easier making a double of himself than it was of Dean though.

For a few days everything was normal...right up until Sam made a monumental mistake and slept with the newly infected werewolf girl. Dean was never letting him live that one down. He was just lucky Bear scared her off before _she_ bit _him_.

"That does it. Sammy, hand me a phone. Mine are on the chargers," said Dean tiredly.

Sam handed over his hunter phone.

"_Department of Creature Relocation. This is Amanda speaking."_

"Yeah, we have a newly infected werewolf and I think it would be easier to relocate her since she doesn't seem inclined to hurt others."

"_One moment please. Can I have your ID number and location?"_

Dean rattled off the number and which town they were in. He knew that the American Ministry was much more reasonable with creatures and those recently infected. At least this woman would have a chance at a normal life.

They stayed long enough to insure she was given all the bare facts and where to go when the moon was full. They couldn't cure her, but they could give her a semblance at being normal again.

By the time they left, Dean was no longer in his creature form, but he was snoring in the back seat with Bear on top of him, to Sam's open amusement. Then again, cooling charms made it easier for his brother to ignore the fact that there was a giant _dog_ on his chest.

Sam snorted. At this point he highly doubted Dean would even care if Bear drooled on him. He loved that dog too much.

* * *

"Fucking Djinn..." muttered Dean. The idiot had put him into some sort of twisted parody of the perfect life and like most supernatural freaks of nature, he got the parents wrong.

Yes, he would have loved to know his birth mother, but he could care less if that asshole John lived or not. And that chick he saddled Dean with?

Yeah right. Give him Bear any day of the week... at least he knew his dog was loyal to him. She looked a lot like that pin-up girl he saw in one his gun magazines.

So was he fooled by this crappy illusion?

Not a chance in hell.

Dean growled to himself as he robbed his brother's 'house' of anything silver and proceeded to get some blood. Sam tried to stop him, but Dean cold-cocked him and knocked the double out. If that really was Sam, he would understand why once he came to. If not, well he was sure his brother had done something at some point to deserve it.

Looking at the Impala, he had a sudden urge to really confuse this bastard.

The black car immediately turned into a familiar broom from Harry's memory.

The illusion faltered briefly. Dean looked around.

Why was he in Hogwarts? He had never gone there in this... Oh.

Dean's grin grew predatory. So that was the idiot's game. He was drawing on memories. Time to kick this illusion in the ass. Letting the bleed through from his past life hit him full force, he found that the scenery kept getting mixed up. It was too easy to see that this was fake.

And when the Djinn appeared, looking pretty pissed off, Dean took vindictive pleasure in stabbing him in the chest.

He woke up a few hours later with a familiar canine face in front of his own. Bear's breath _reeked_.

"Dammit Bear, get the hell off of me!" said Dean.

Bear licked him in the face in response. Sam cackled evilly.

"You alright Dean?"

"Fucking peachy. Bet that Djinn was confused as hell when I started to scramble the memories. Just out of curiosity did I knock your ass out recently through a punch?"

"Dude, if you _had_ I wouldn't have settled for letting Bear wake your heavy ass up," said Sam flatly.

"Good. Glad to know that was a fake Sam like I thought."


	14. Chapter 14

Dean looked at his watch. Sam was taking his sweet time getting pie and food. He had taken Bear out for a walk just in case, and had missed the light show.

So he took Bear in with him, and within seconds away from the tiny diner he started snarling like no tomorrow.

Dean figured out why too. The place reeked of sulfur and everyone was dead. Fortunately, Sam wasn't among the dead.

"Fuck."

* * *

"Crowley. Dean, what's got your britches in a bunch? Say what now?"

Crowley found it fascinating that Dean could match his British quips tit-for-tat. He had forgotten what it was like to meet someone as snarky as he was without his precious coffee.

"So Sam's been taken. Has to be Meg, she's the only one of that lot who would know where Azazel had his tournament...and hasn't been killed by you two blockheads yet."

Crowley listened to a grumpy Dean ask him something.

"Don't know if that hound of yours will find your brother. Wait, didn't you once mention Sam has a weird affinity for dogs? Why not let me send some of my more tame pets to you and you can see if he can't snag a familiar out of them. Nah, I have like a hundred of the damn hounds, they breed like bloody rabbits."

Crowley honestly _liked_ the Harvelles. They amused him and they were useful as hell to boot. Best of all, no one was aware of his personal hunters.

So did he care that he was essentially handing over one of his hounds to the younger idiot as a familiar? Hell no. Sam was amusing in his own right, but Dean cracked Crowley up.

Especially with the blackmail the older one had forwarded to his P.O. Box against Loki. Using a full on Bear Bomb on that annoying as heaven pagan? Classic.

"Be sure to have something with your brother's scent. Once they have it they should be able to find him pretty quick," Crowley warned.

Sam wasn't the only one with a weird affinity towards canine familiars. Dean had just found his faster. So if he managed to get one of the tamer hell hounds as a familiar, it wasn't Crowley's problem.

* * *

Sam groaned.

"I hate demons," he muttered. Very few things could get a jump on him like that, especially leaving a sulfur trail behind.

He checked his gear. All he had on him was a cell phone and his wand. The rest of the spelled gear was in the trunk. It was just luck that he had forgotten to put his wand and holster back in too.

"Sam?"

"Andy? What the hell are you doing here?"

"No idea. All I remember is smelling rotten eggs..."

"Never mind, I think I get the picture. Dammit, I bet that bitch from before is behind this," said Sam under his breath.

"You know what happened?"

"The basics. Someone wants all the psychics Azazel tainted twenty-two years ago, though we never did find out what they wanted them for. And none of the demons we took out were talkative about why we were picked," said Sam. He checked his phone.

A slow grin formed.

"And whoever grabbed me left me with two things they shouldn't have."

He couldn't believe that Meg was stupid enough to leave him with his phone. Or worse, his wand!

Talk about an idiot.

Sam suddenly paused when he heard the howls.

"What the hell is that?!" said Andy, sticking close to Sam. Sam noted several others jump at the sound of baying hounds.

He spotted Ava, and noticed she seemed the most nervous at the sound.

However when he saw the source, he had to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Hell hounds. I just _know_ my brother is behind this," said Sam tiredly. He made sure his magic was at the surface as he barked "SIT!"

Two of the hell hounds paused in their snarling and promptly sat down. The rest stared at him like he was an idiot.

"Well that's somewhat better," said Sam, rubbing his head.

"Sam? What's going on?" asked Ava.

"My brother apparently thought it would be _hilarious_ to send a pack of hell hounds after me. Asshole. Why couldn't he have just sent Bear instead?" complained Sam.

"You can see those things?"

"I can see most things like them. Hell hounds are nothing," said Sam tiredly. The two that had sat down on command whined.

He nudged them with his magic, and the two trotted over and sat at either side of him. The rest ignored him completely.

"So where the hell are we?" asked the soldier.

"No idea. Right now I just want to see how far the barrier keeping me from getting a signal goes out," said Sam, holding up his phone. His _hunting_ phone.

"You still have your phone?" said Ava shocked.

"Let's just say the demon responsible for dumping us here is a bit of an idiot and didn't check that I was unarmed," said Sam dryly.

* * *

Dean waited patiently for Crowley to call back. He was the only one who understood hell hounds.

He barely understood Bear, and that was because he paid attention to his dog.

His phone rang.

"Yeah? They found him? Where?"

"_No idea. But two of the dogs haven't returned and since they're not in a frenzy I think Sam managed to get their attention pretty well,"_ said Crowley.

That was how you got hell hounds as familiars. You dominated the damn things. Though the fact Sam had apparently took control of two of them meant he was a lot stronger than Crowley took him for.

"Great. I take it this means Bear will have to contend with two new additions?"

"_Look at it this way, Bear is the biggest dog with hell hound blood. Chances are they'll look to him as the Alpha Male. Besides, hell hounds can shrink if they want. I've seen one as small as a Chihuahua." _

Dean choked back a laugh.

"Seriously?"

"_I think they used him in a fast food commercial if I remember right. Something to do with Mexican,"_ said Crowley.

"Taco Bell?"

"_That's the one."_

"Knew that dog was always suspicious," laughed Dean.

"_If he has dominated the two, it shouldn't take too long before he tries to contact you. Call me if you need to make a deal though," _said Crowley.

"No offense Crow, but I hope that I don't have to make any deals. If I do, you're the one I'll contact first."

Dean drove straight to Bobby's house and waited. Sam would eventually remember that they had a telepathic connection. So far nothing they encountered had noticed this fact, so it was highly unlikely that they would think to block it like the phones. They usually only exercised that trick around Mort.

"Sam's missing?!" said Bobby.

"Demon nabbed him. I'm just waiting for Sam to get a hold of me through ways they won't expect."

"Why aren't you panicking?"

"Crow sent two hell hounds to wherever Sam's scent was strongest. Two didn't come back. He figures Sam managed to get him a pair of new pets," said Dean.

"Hell hounds," deadpanned Bobby.

"Yes, hell hounds. I would rather Sam have hell hounds as his partners until I get there than nothing at all," said Dean flatly.

Bobby privately conceded his point. So they waited for a sign, any sign at all.

* * *

Sam was tired, he was starving, and he was pissed off. The hell hounds kept the Acheri demon off his ass, and he liked having such powerful canines to fight for him, but frankly he was sick of these...civilians.

Andy was alright, he at least kept his mouth shut and didn't question Sam's knowledge. But Jake and Ava were getting on his last nerve.

_This sucks,_ he thought to himself. His magic was so tightly coiled around him that he didn't realize he was broadcasting.

_Sammy! It's about damn time you remembered!_

_Dean? How..._

Suddenly Sam went to the nearest wall and started banging his head against it. Of course. He had forgotten entirely about telepathy, and they had yet to find what the maximum distance was for it.

_You forgot about telepathy didn't you?_

Sam could hear the laughter in his brother's voice.

_Yes. Now shut the hell up. I have a massive migraine because the soldier is a paranoid idiot and Eva claims she had only just got here._

_You got the hell hounds Crow sent your way?_

_Yes. And I knew you had to be behind that somehow. _

_Did you know the 'Yo Quero Taco Bell' dog was actually a hell hound?_

_What._

_Crow mentioned how they could shrink and said that one had been a famous chihuahua on TV for some fast food Mexican place._

_Interesting, but not important,_ said Sam. Actually, that was kind of hilarious. Dean had always been creeped out by that dog and had no idea why when he loved dogs.

_Besides, I would rather you have a pair of hell hounds backing you up just in case than none at all._

_Here's an image of where I am. Can you get here, or did that idiot block apparition too?_

_Did she confiscate your wand?_

_No, and she left my hunter's phone on me as well. Unfortunately that is jammed._

_Then start sending up flares! Come on, how hard is it to send up fireworks that a reaper can see?_

Sam snorted. Of course Dean would think of asking reapers to keep an eye out for unusual fireworks.

* * *

Loki looked up when he saw the weird ass fireworks going off from twenty miles away. Normally he wouldn't be paying any attention, but he was seeing reapers start to converge on the spot. So he went to investigate what was going on.

He wasn't expecting to see Sam on a roof with his wand setting off anything and everything he could think of. He looked rather bored to be honest.

So he grinned as he popped up behind Sam, only vaguely noticing a pair of hell hounds nearby.

"Heya Sammy. Don't you look the picture of enthusiasm?"

Sam jumped, then turned to look with a glare at the one speaking.

"Loki. Saw the fireworks?"

"And the reapers," admitted Loki.

"Dean's idea of calling for help without a cell phone signal. He asked the reapers to look out for magical fireworks, since we're not sure if there's any wards to prevent teleporting," said Sam shrugging.

"Yeah, hearing he asked _reapers_ doesn't surprise me, considering the company he keeps," snorted Loki.

"Mort's not bad, just has a really dry wit and looks like death warmed over," said Sam.

Loki choked.

"Sam, that is a more accurate description of _Mort_ than you seem to realize. What's with the hell hounds?"

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Dean's idea of back up. We happen to have a crossroads demon as a contact, and he owns hell hounds. So he had the demon send some of his tamer ones my way, and two of them stuck around."

"Huh. You must have an affinity towards dogs," said Loki, looking at how calm the hounds were around him.

"So...any ideas for more fireworks? I've been mostly recreating the stuff Gandalf the Grey used at Bilbo's party," admitted Sam.

"Even the dragon and the explosion?" asked Loki, impressed.

"I'm saving that for when Dean gets close," said Sam. Then an idea occurred to him. "Care to see who can come up with the most impressive idea?"

"You bet!" grinned Loki.

For a pair of hunters, the _Harvelles_ weren't bad at all. They were nothing like he expected them to be.

"So... do you have a creature form too?" asked Loki before they got started.

Sam's evil grin did _not_ inspire confidence.

One minute Loki was staring at a moose (one of the many nicknames given to Sam), the next he was staring at a tall bunny with a carrot in his hands.

"Eh, what's up doc?"

"A rabbit? Seriously?"

"Not just any rabbit. Haven't you ever seen _Looney Tunes_?" asked Sam.

"Uh, not a fan of cartoons?"

"You've never even watched one episode with Bugs Bunny? What sort of Trickster are you?! He's like the ultimate prankster!" said Sam turning back.

"So your creature form is a talking rabbit?"

"I'm a Bugs Bunny fan. Dean nearly pissed himself from laughing so hard when he found out what I had Mort set my creature form to. Then he said it was a perfect fit because I always eat like a rabbit anyway," said Sam shrugging. Then he gave Loki an odd look.

"What?"

"When we get out of here, I'm going to force you to sit through an entire marathon of _Looney Tunes_. There is no excuse for not recognizing Bugs Bunny on sight. Stitch I can understand, but Bugs?"

"Like I said, not a fan of cartoons."

"Still not an excuse."

Loki never seeing Bugs and Daffy? Sam seriously couldn't believe that for a minute.


	15. Chapter 15

"Sammy!"

Dean hugged his brother tightly in relief. Then he spotted Loki.

"Saw the fireworks?" he asked.

"Saw the fireworks," confirmed Loki, "By the way, what are _Looney Tunes_?"

"No and _hell no_. I am not going to stick around if Sammy introduces you to that, _Robot Chicken, Animaniacs, _or _South Park_," said Dean flatly.

"Why?" asked Loki, openly amused.

"Because after I saw those series, I drove everyone damn near insane replicating some of the things I saw in them. Especially _South Park_," said Dean.

Sam shuddered. It was bad enough when Dean started remaking half the crap he saw in the old _Looney Tunes _show. But it got infinitely worse after he saw _Tom and Jerry_.

"I will give you a full day's head start once I introduce him to Bugs and Daffy," said Sam.

"Deal!"

Ten minutes of _Looney Tunes_ and Loki was hooked. He cracked up at the Duck vs. Rabbit debate that resulted in Daffy having his beak blown backwards.

"Damn! Why didn't I watch this stuff sooner?" said Loki, wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes. They weren't even done with the first disc yet!

Dean had opted to take Bobby out on a hunt, if only so they could escape the inevitable pranks Loki would come up with after a marathon of Bugs Bunny and the rest.

It was shortly as they were heading back that things turned sour.

"SAM!"

Dean damn near drove the Impala into the house.

Inside was some random demon with the Colt. Where they had gotten that he had no idea. On the floor was Sam, with a bullet that had gone through his heart, killing him instantly. Loki was holding him, trying to heal the wound but even Dean could see it was a lost cause.

The demon didn't last ten seconds after Dean was through with him.

"Dammit... there's no way I'm letting this slide, not after the crap I went through to find him."

"Boy, you aren't seriously planning..." said Bobby.

"Relax Bobby, I know what I'm doing," said Dean.

"That's what I'm worried about!" snapped the older hunter.

* * *

"Crow, how soon can you get here? I want to make a deal."

"_What happened?"_

Crowley's voice was unusually sharp.

"Some idiot demon just killed Sam with the Colt."

"_Shit. I was wondering where that went. What's the plan?"_

Dean made sure Bobby and Loki weren't listening in to his big idea. He was relatively alone, outside of Bear.

"Look, the contract usually states I have to be in hell right? Is there anything that would _keep_ me in hell once I go in?"

"_Aside from the fact that you would likely end up on Alistair's racks the second you landed, not really. Why?"_

"Here's the idea I had. Hardly anyone in hell is aware of Stitch outside of Mort, right?"

"_Everyone still seems to be under the impression you're a Winchester and a mundane, so no."_

"Would it be likely they would mistake my creature form for that of some deformed Hell hound, especially if I had Bear acting as my Alpha?"

Crowley thought about that for a moment. Dean's creature form was bizarre, but if someone didn't know any better he could see it being mistaken for some strange hell beast, especially if his hell hound crossbreed were around to keep him from being killed right off the bat. All he would need is directions and theoretically he could walk right out of hell without anyone the wiser.

And if Dean went into hell and found his own way out, then by a technical standpoint his contract would have been filled before his 'death'. Meaning he wouldn't be dragged back down after he walked out.

It was pretty damn risky and hinged on whether he could find his way out again before Lilith and the others figured out what happened to Dean though.

Then again, Dean apparently thrived on risky. And he had the luck of the devil himself.

"_It's tricky, but with your luck you might be able to pull it off. Especially if you took your dog with you to keep the others off your case."_

"Which means all I would need to get this done is the location of an open hell gate demons can't access freely."

"_I know of one you can use. It has a barrier placed by angels, but since you're not a demon it shouldn't be too much trouble to slip through. And since Bear is a hell hound he can get out on his own by following one of mine."_

"So do we have a deal? You bring Sam back and help me escape hell and in exchange I'll help you piss off some of the higher demons later," said Dean.

"_That and you tell me who you were before. I want to know why you know Death,"_ said Crowley flatly.

"Fair enough," said Dean.

Crowley appeared a few minutes later to shake Dean's hand. The moment Dean touched Crowley's flesh, he felt something latch onto his core. In the distance he heard a clap of thunder, or what sounded like it.

"There. Your brother is back among the living. Just tell me when you want to screw over whatever Lilith has planned so I can give you the location of that hell gate...and plant something so you can find it later from the pit," said Crowley.

"Got it. By the way, the person I was before?"

Crowley looked at him intently.

"I was originally Harry Potter."

Crowley choked on his own spit.

"You have got to be bloody joking. You were the Master of Death and you chose to become some no-name _hunter_? You had everything! Money, fame, glory!"

"But not an actual life I wanted. Money? What has money ever done for me? Fame? I hated it from the start and all it ever did was bring yes men who wanted to steal some of the spotlight. Glory? What good is glory when it brought me nothing but misery? I'm happier as Dean Harvelle, a no-name hunter who kills things that hurt others than I ever was as Harry Potter," said Dean shaking his head.

Crowley conceded his point. Potter was a powerful, famous and rich wizard, but everyone and their grandmother knew he was a pawn of the Ministry. His disappearance had come as a total shock.

Finding out he had chosen to reincarnate into a hunter's family just to escape that life wasn't surprising, from an outsider's standpoint. Frankly he was more surprised Harry hadn't tried to make a demon deal first.

"Give me a call when you're ready to pull one over Lilith and Alistair," said Crowley. That was going to be hilarious.

* * *

"Dean, what the hell did you do?!" said Sam angrily. He remembered the demon, the Colt. What he didn't remember is how he came back.

"Made a deal with Crowley. Got a surprise for the demons below."

"Dean."

"You do realize there's no getting out of a demon-contract right?" said Loki, eying Sam.

"Oh, there's a way out. It's just risky, stupid, and quite possibly insane. And best of all by the time the higher demons figure out what I did, it will be too late," said Dean.

"Say what now? You're not seriously going to try and get out of the contract are you?" asked Loki.

"I'm not going to try and get out of the contract. It's a stupid idea that's not likely to work in the year I was given. Instead I'm going to do something else. Something that the other demons won't anticipate," said Dean smugly.

"What?"

"Go in early in creature form and then walk out through a hell gate that only has a barrier over it placed by angels. Crowley said it was possible, just highly unlikely I could find the gate out of hell before the other demons figure out I'm there. The contract only states I go down... there's nothing in it that says I have to _stay_ once I'm there."

"That...is actually a valid point. The contracts only send you down once they're up or you die. I've never seen anyone bother to make one that forces you to stay once you're there," admitted Loki.

It was a valid plan. If Dean went in early and Sam was able to pretend he was sick or something, then the demons wouldn't know Dean was already in hell. Theoretically he could escape before they found out. But it was risky, and they already knew what he looked like.

"So how you planning to avoid the racks?"

Dean smirked. Then he switch to Stitch.

"I get it now. You go in as Stitch and since for some reason the supernatural side isn't as quick on the uptake they won't know it's you. Is Bear going as well?"

"_Better believe it. As far as they'll know, I'm some deformed hell beast that a hell hound adopted as it's pup,"_ said Dean.

"That is not only smart, but it has a higher chance of working than trying to get out of it. I'm impressed Dean-o," said Loki.

Dean and Sam could tell from his expression he was being completely honest.

"So what's your plan to keep hell from finding out early?" asked Loki, popping up a sucker.

"That's the easy part. Prank war gone wrong. As far as everyone needs to know, Sam and I either got into a fight, or I could be holed up here in Bobby's while my leg heals or something," said Dean immediately, having switched back.

"You are aware time passes differently in hell right?" said Loki.

"Not surprising, but I'm also pretty sure Crowley would at least have the decency to tell Sam if my plan fails and I got sent to the racks," said Dean.

"That I can see happening," admitted Sam.

* * *

"Dammit, why do we have to deal with his stupid storage locker?" complained Dean.

Dean hated dealing with anything to do with John Winchester. So having to clean up after his mess was not something he enjoyed.

Finding out the idiot had some twisted rabbit's foot? Even less appealing.

"So what's the plan Dean?" asked Sam.

"For starters we're going to make sure that we don't lose that rabbit's foot until we get ready to dispose of it. That thing has a history of getting people killed when they lose it. Kinda like Sauron's ring."

Sam did a three second stand still and stared at his brother.

"I did not just hear you claim you've read _Lord of the Rings_," said Sam accusingly.

"... I've read_ Macbeth_, _Hamlet_, and Sherlock Holmes too, if that's any consolation," said Dean sheepishly.

"So let me get this straight. You can't stand reading books, but you've read several classics?" said Sam in disbelief.

"I hate this modern fantasy crap. The classics are another story," said Dean defensively.

"Prove it," said Sam. It was hard to believe his classic car loving brother had read Shakespeare.

Dean rolled his eyes, before he quoted a passage.

"_'A drum, a drum, Macbeth doth come._

_The weird sisters, hand in hand_

_Posters of sea and land_

_Thus do go about, about_

_Thrice to thine and thrice to mine_

_And thrice again to make nine_

_Peace! The charm's wound up."_

Sam stopped and stared in shock. _Dean_ had just quoted a passage from _Macbeth_. He couldn't believe his brother actually read the classics.

"I don't believe it."

"What? I like classics," said Dean irritably. Was it really that hard to believe he liked the classics over the new crap?

"It's just you hate reading."

"No, I hate _researching_. Reading to kill time is another story," corrected Dean. The researching thing was something that had bleed over from Harry and his days under the proverbial whip of a certain bushy-haired brunette with a self-righteous attitude.

"At least now I know what to get you for your birthday this year," muttered Sam.

It took Dean three hours to find the ingredients to cleanse the damn rabbit's foot. And another hour to find a place to do it.

Once the thing was cleansed (and with no physical sign showing they had rid it of the bad luck it came with) it was stolen out of Sam's pocket.

Dean almost felt sorry for the thief, but he was too busy laughing from the cursing she let off when she realized something was wrong with it. (He had laced it with a scrying spell for a quick laugh.)

The only thing that bugged him was the woman's British accent. It sounded way too familiar.


	16. Chapter 16

"So what's the cover?" asked Sam.

"Basically a hunt gone wrong. Since for some reason the supernatural set hasn't figured out we're not Winchesters, I want you to spread the word I broke my leg or something. That should keep people from asking why I'm not with you for a while. Remember to give me a year before you call Crowley asking where I am. The less attention you draw to the fact I'm not on Earth, the easier it will be for me to slip past them," said Dean.

Dean had decided not to put off his trip into hell. Crowley said that two months would be more than sufficient to complete his contract, which was how long Sam had to fool everyone. And to help that, Dean had contacted Loki and told him to 'go nuts' with pranks.

As far as anyone would be concerned, Sam had opted to go into a prank war with the pagan while Dean was laid up with a pair of broken legs.

Crowley had given Dean the location of the hell gate, and Dean had given it to Sam just in case. If only so Sam would know where to go when Crowley (or Mort) told him when Dean left hell.

Bear was going with him, if only to keep the demons from looking too closely at Stitch.

As far as they were concerned, Dean's creature form was some bizarre hell beast.

Crowley said he had seen freakier things in the pit.

Sam was unhappy Dean was going to hell at all, but realized that it was better to do this now when the contract hadn't even been two months old than to wait and make the chances of the demons realizing what Dean had done too early.

Loki had promised to keep Sam safe until Dean's return. He seemed very amused Dean trusted him to do something like that.

Dean hugged his brother tightly. He took a deep breath and turned into Stitch. The longer he took to go into the hell gate, the more likely he was to put it off. Bear immediately leaned down so Dean could climb onto his back.

Dean gave his brother a salute, to the amusement of Loki and Sam. Then he and Bear disappeared.

It would be months before Sam saw his brother again.

* * *

It was hot. It was filled with the most tortured screams. And it was full of pain.

Bear was completely unconcerned about it. Stitch left a small charm at the opening so he could find it later. It was nothing really, most demons were likely to ignore it entirely. But the active magic would make finding his way back so much easier.

"_Well Bear, let's check out hell,"_ said Stitch. His voice always sounded warped in this form.

It made it that much harder to pin things on him. Well, unless it was Sam because let's face it, he always knew when it was Dean's doing.

So Dean decided to see where ol' Johnny boy landed.

It took him a full week on Earth, but ten years in hell. Loki wasn't joking about the time difference, and the only reason Dean knew about how long it took was because of the charm most people used instead of getting a damn watch. (The more advanced application could also tell the date.)

Dean took one look, and then left.

John Winchester was an asshole, and Dean had only come here out of curiosity. He found it hard to pity someone who caused so much harm with his damn paranoia.

Pleased to see John getting exactly what he deserved, he went to see where Dumbledore and Voldemort ended up. If only so he could piss on their decaying and tortured bodies for all the crap they put him through. Maybe if he was lucky he would run into Snape.

* * *

On the way to locate Dumbledore, he ran into a familiar face and had to hold back a laugh when Mort did a double take.

Thankfully the demons usually didn't pay any mind to him, otherwise they would have started asking questions...like why Death was talking to a hell beast that no one recognized.

**Dean, what in god's name are you doing in the pit?**

_Sam was killed, I made a deal. Better to sneak into hell, fulfilling the contract than to be dragged down by hell hounds later and put on the racks,_ said Dean sensibly.

Mort stared at him in disbelief.

It was an insane, idiotic and almost impossible plan. But there was a higher chance of him escaping from hell when no one was expecting it than there was of him doing it after he was on the racks.

Plus it would ruin the plans of heaven and hell to break the first lock.

The only issue was that Death couldn't keep an eye on Dean without drawing attention. Something neither of them needed.

_Can you give me directions once the two months are up? Crow said that was the least amount of time I would need to end the contract's hold on my core._

**I'll let you know when it's up. Where are you going anyway?**

_Piss on Dumbledore and Voldemort. And possibly Snape,_ was Dean's immediate reply.

Death snorted. He had the feeling this was Harry, not Dean. He flicked his right hand and produced a small light ball for him to follow.

**It will go to the closest one first. Have fun,**said Mort dryly. He wasn't about to stop Dean from getting some payback on the people who had screwed up his life.

Be interesting to see Dean's reaction to Umbridge.

* * *

He was particularly satisfied with his work. Dumbledore wasn't, but who gave a damn what that old goat thought? Too bad there wasn't any decent Mexican around here, he would have loved to make this bastard suffer a permanent Bear Bomb.

That was two out of three people who had made his life hell. Since the Durselys were still alive, he couldn't do the same to them.

So he went downward, investigating various areas as he went. Once you learned to ignore the screaming, the heat and god knew what else in the air, hell was pretty boring.

No wonder demons wanted to leave this place!

Dean knew that something inside of him had changed after running into Mort.

For one thing whenever he slept in the furry comfort of Bear's protection, the memories of Harry were absorbed into his own. It usually took him a few minutes for him to remember he was Dean now, not that sad wizard with no hope.

At this rate the memories would be fully integrated.

He was in the lower levels of the pit when he accidentally stumbled on it.

A cage with so many locks that it made little sense at all. But it was the smell that tipped him off as to what it was.

He knew the scent of a Bear Bomb.

_So this is Lucifer's cage. Weird._

_**Who said that?!**_

_You heard me. Okay, I am now freaked out._

Stitch noticed something staring at him with an annoyed glare from inside the cage. Lucifer was definitely aware of his presence.

_**You're not a demon, or something from here. Who or what are you?**_

_Someone who had the sense to end his contract early before he got ripped apart by hellhounds,_ deadpanned Dean.

_**A wizard, no doubt. How did you escape the racks?**_

_Again, I came here willingly to avoid having to deal with that crap. Hell's easy to break into...it the leaving that's a bitch and a half._

_**Not if you know the right direction to go in. Go down five levels and look for a crack. It's another way out,**_said Lucifer blindly.

It would show this idiot right if he got eaten by the things currently trapped in purgatory.

Dean decided that he might as well follow Lucifer's directions. Two seconds of staring into Purgatory, and he returned.

_You are a dick._

_**You survived. Impressive.**_

_What the fuck were those things?_

_**Leviathans. Dad's first mistake before he made the angels. He trapped them in purgatory because he didn't know where else to stash them,**_ said Lucifer blandly.

_They're freakier than half the demons I've run into. And that's saying something!_

_**So tell me, little wizard, just how did you end up with a contract?**_

What could he say? Lucifer was bored out of his mind and listening to brown nosing demons was annoying.

_Some demon killed my brother with the Colt. So I made a deal with a crossroads demon I knew to bring him back. In exchange he'll use us to piss off some of the higher demons he knows,_ said Dean simply.

_**You made a deal for love?**_ Lucifer said surprised.

_The first made a deal for power. The second was for love. The third greeted him like an old friend,_ quoted Dean.

He knew once he left hell that he would have the full power of the Hallows again. He just didn't care.

Like Harry, Dean had gone through the three trials, albeit out of order.

The first time he met Death (once he knew what he was), he greeted him like a long-lost friend. The second time he had been touched by a controlled reaper someone had kept around for power. And this time he went into hell to protect the one he loved from having to suffer from watching his time slowly tick away until there was none left.

By that reasoning, Dean had fulfilled the three requirements to regain his lost status as Master of Death.

The only thing was that he had no idea where the Hallows were, and he didn't care.

Dean spent a week (Earth time) just talking to Lucifer. For someone considered as Satan, he wasn't that bad. Just pissed at the flippant way humanity treated his father.

To Dean, this all sounded like a disagreement between brothers that just got way out of hand.

Finally the time limit set was up. Death appeared before Dean, surprising Lucifer greatly.

**The two months are up. You can leave hell and no one would be the wiser that you filled the contract.**

_I was actually enjoying my chat with Satan. Too bad._

Mort snorted. Only someone as twisted and broken as Dean/Harry would find chatting with Lucifer of all people soothing.

_**He's **_**your****_ master?!_**

_I'm not his Master. I'm his friend, one of the few who bothers to talk to him without all the pomp and circumstance._

**He also acts as my hand among the mortals when I need him. If you agree to behave if and when the locks are broken, I might be able to adjust his aura so he can hear you even here,** said Mort with a sigh.

Lucifer perked up. He was just as bored as the strange creature before him was, and he had to admit their discussions were a nice change of pace.

_**How will I know it's him when I break free? I would hate to kill my new favorite human,**_asked Lucifer.

**Trust me, you'll know it's him because he'll be traveling with your true vessel. I daresay Micheal is going to be pissed when he figures out what I did to his_, _**said Mort dryly.

Lucifer's eyes widened with realization. Then he began to crack up.

Oh this was going to be fun. Micheal's vessel was Death's true Master and magical? There was no way he would say yes with that much power!

The two started going up. It was going to take a while before they reached the top layer of the pit.

Unfortunately for Dean, his marker was destroyed by accident by another hell hound. He would have to rely on Mort to find his way out.

* * *

Three months. That was how long Dean had been gone. Sam had been able to play off his brother's disappearance by claiming he was laid up in a safe house with a broken leg...before contracting a particularly nasty bout of the flu. Aside from having to deal with his mother yelling at him for being a damn idiot for trying to lie, no one knew Dean was gone.

On the plus side, he had gained a new boyfriend.

Loki was absolutely _smitten_ with Sam after he was pranked repeatedly by the hunter. Apparently he liked people who could match him tit-for-tat when it came to pranks.

It was almost enough to take Sam's mind off the fact Dean wasn't there. Almost.

"Moping again Sammy?" said Loki.

"I miss him. It's been two months and we can't keep this ruse up forever. People are already noticing that we've been inactive and Mom's having to field questions as to where we went."

"I'm surprised anyone noticed," said Loki, sipping his hot chocolate.

"It's because Bear is so recognizable. People might not notice us missing, but not hearing reports of someone driving a black Impala with a massive dog in the back? They know something's up," said Sam.

Loki was about to respond when he felt a chill.

"Lo?"

"Something just happened. Something that anyone with magic could feel," said Loki.

Sam went quiet.

There, on the back of his senses was this hum. Almost a whine really.

"What is that?"

"Death's Master has returned," said Loki shivering.

Every supernatural and magical creature felt when Death's Master finally claimed his power. Every. Single. One.

This was ten times worse. This was Death's Master unbound by mortal constraints and in full possession of his power. And he wasn't even _using_ it at the moment.

It made Loki fear what would happen if the man (or woman) got angry.

There was a sudden knock on the door. Once. Twice. Three times.

Outside there was a raven that mysteriously cried "Nevermore! Nevermore!"

Sam's eyes widened and he rushed to open it.

There, standing in the doorway was a tired looking Dean and a sleepy Bear.

"Yo. Miss me?"


	17. Chapter 17

Sam would like to claim he didn't tackle his brother in a hug. But that was a lie. He literally knocked Dean on his ass, and Loki laughed for a few moments.

"Have fun in hell?"

"Aside from pissing on Dumbledore, Voldemort, Snape and even John...oh, and having a nice long chat with Lucifer...it was okay."

Loki, who had been drinking his chocolate started choking on it.

"You had a _chat_ with _Lucifer_?!" said Loki, once he cleared his throat.

"I had to spend two months in hell, and that lot were pretty far down. Aside from being a bit of a jerk he wasn't that bad," said Dean shrugging. Then he started looking around. "I need pie. And actual food."

"What, didn't you eat or drink anything for the past three months?" said Loki sarcastically.

"Dude, I remember what happened to Persephone when she ate that pomegranate. Do I look stupid to you? Besides, there wasn't a thing to eat in hell," said Dean flatly.

Bear woofed tiredly.

"Right, one buffet line and doggy-style buffet coming up!" said Loki.

Dean looked between Sam and Loki.

"You two dating or something?"

Sam choked.

"How..."

"Wasn't hard to guess. I was gone for over two months I'm guessing, and we've always been a bit codependent. Frankly I would rather you date him than some demon. So who tops?"

Loki laughed openly at the look on Sam's face. It wasn't often he got to see him gobsmacked and horrified.

"I am _not_ discussing my sex life with you!"

"Why not?" grinned Dean like the Cheshire cat.

Sam glared at him. It was like he had never left.

The second Dean saw the food and beverages, he dove in like a piranha. There was no escape. Bear was in a similar state...he devoured the meat and food Loki set out for him like he hadn't seen a good meal in a while. Which he hadn't.

By the time both man and dog were done, they were splayed out on the couch in a similar position. Loki snorted in amusement and took a picture.

* * *

A few days later they went back to see Bobby, who was just glad Sam wasn't out getting his head bashed in because he was missing Dean.

And the first thing Bobby did upon seeing Dean was slap him on the head for worrying them so much.

"Look on the bright side. You made it home in time for Christmas!" said Sam a little too evilly.

"Great," said Dean. Which meant he had little time to get a present for Sam and the others.

"Relax Dean-o. I'm pretty sure Sammy will be happy to just have his brother back," said Loki behind him.

"Back and without having to worry about you being in hell in another couple of months," said Sam.

"Yeah...about that..." said Dean nervously. Sam stopped cold and gave Dean a _Look_. It wasn't his standard bitch face, so Dean knew he would have to talk fast before Sam started hexing him.

"Dean."

"Mort said that since the higher demons aren't aware I slipped out of that part of the contract on a technicality, that it would be a better idea to go into hiding. I won't have to die again, but I won't be able to use the name Dean once the contract's original date is up," said Dean embarrassed.

It was a major prank on Lilith and Alistair. Crowley was all for it, since they would basically be wasting months of time trying to find Dean's soul in hell for nothing.

Sam relaxed.

"Is that all? Why not go back to the name you were before you asked Mort to give you a second chance?"

"Because that would open up an entirely new can of worms that I want nothing to do with, no matter how much gold was in those vaults."

"By the way... I had a run-in with the woman who stole that cursed rabbit's foot last week. She seemed _pissed_ when she found out it wasn't cursed anymore."

Dean snorted.

"Too damn bad. I'm not losing you just to keep some rather finicky luck," said Dean flatly. "So did this chick have a name?"

"Herm something."

Dean froze.

"She didn't happen to have bushy hair, a bossy disposition and a self-righteous attitude with an unhealthy addiction to books..."

"You know her?"

"Hermione. Has to be. She mention why she needed that rabbit's foot?"

"Something about locating a missing friend of hers."

"Shit. How did she track me all the way here?"

Loki snorted.

"You're kidding right? Even I could sense when you left hell. Anything with the ability to sense real power and what it is was when you got out."

"What," was Dean's only reply.

"Kid, you took on Death's _mantle_. You really thought no one would notice? Hell, we all noticed when Harry Potter took up the Hallows six years ago!"

Dean winced.

"They noticed when Death's Master takes on the power?" said Dean.

"It's a _lot_ of power we're talking about. So yes, almost everyone noticed it," deadpanned Loki.

"Great. What are the odds she noticed it too?"

"Good, but the odds of her finding Harry Potter are next to nill."

Dean let a sigh of relief out.

"However she might find out Dean Harvelle is the new Master and put two and two together."

"Dammit, couldn't you have left it at her not finding Harry?"

"How about a hunt? There's a couple of pagans I know who target families. Real big on the Christmas thing," offered Loki grinning.

It was how he kept Sam from being depressed...he aimed his hunter at other targets he didn't mind killing. He was particularly irritated with monsters that harmed children.

"Done. But first we do presents!" said Dean.

Sam's present to Dean, bought when he was in a used bookstore, was a complete collection of Shakespeare's work. Dean's present?

Sam got to pick where their vacation would be. No hunting, no demons, just regular tourist crap and being normal for a week. Needless to say his brother really appreciated the thought behind that, because they never got to take a break from hunting. Ever.

The closest he got was when he went to college and even then it was stressful. So the idea of going on vacation and being normal for a week was just what he needed.

Dean even agreed to be Loki's way of scaring his fellow pagans. That really cheered Loki up, because the thought of Dean scaring the hell out of his ex, Kali, really amused Loki. The best part was that it was highly unlikely Kali would be able to kill him since he had tested his creature form in hell and survived!

Really, the only weakness Dean knew his creature form had was that it couldn't swim, it was simply too dense and would sink.

As Sam had put it, he was like Sonic the hedgehog. Able to do great things...but couldn't swim worth a damn. It was weird Stitch and Sonic had the same coloring and general appearance though.

And Bear? He got a massive dinosaur sized bone similar to the one Loki conjured up the first time he saw that dog.

The St. Bernard mix was happily chewing on that once he was inside the house. All while giving the two hell hounds Sam had adopted as familiars a look to keep the hell away from him until he was done.

Three months in hell was enough to make him really, really territorial around food for a while.

* * *

Dean was really pissed off right now. These pagans were killing people on _Christmas_ of all days and generally ruining families at the worst possible time. Probably why Loki had sent them this way.

"Right, you two have gotten on my last nerve with this crap. Time to go postal," growled Dean. He drew the line when torture was involved.

Yes, he had learned to ignore the screaming of the countless damned in hell, but that did _not_ mean he was going to ignore his brother being in pain!

The pagans didn't pay any mind to Dean...at least not until they felt the magic starting to pour off Dean.

"Dean, what are..."

The two looked at him with outright fear. What the hell was going on with Dean to cause that?

Sam heard the bindings break, and saw Dean stand up.

Mort appeared without warning, took one look at Dean and sighed.

**He leaves hell and already he's causing trouble. Dean, calm down before you blow your cover early with the demons.**

_Mort, what is going on?_

**Dean is so worked up having recently left hell and regained his full power that he's drawing on his animagus form. The reason it was locked was because it would have killed him before he regained his full strength.**

_Short answer please?_

**Dean's scaring the pagans because they're starting to realize what he is. And the last thing we need right now is for the demons to become more interested in him than they are in gaining your trust. They just think he got off bed rest, remember?**

"Dean, will you get me out so we can deal with this and go home? I would rather sleep in my own bed and not some crappy motel!" said Sam, distracting his brother enough to calm him down.

Dean only spared a glance and the bindings were cut. He was still pretty pissed, but Sam had gotten through.

It took them ten minutes to kill the pagans, and less than five to erase the evidence they had been in the house.

Mort however was not happy. Dean would need some time to calm down before he blew his cover. The last thing they needed was for demons like Lilith to try and kill Sam again just to insure Dean went to hell and broke the first seal.

So while Dean went on a pie run, Mort talked to Sam, alone.

**Sam you need to keep an eye on Dean. Contrary to what you might think, he was affected by being in hell for three months. As Harry he became highly adept at hiding his pain and his true feelings... a skill he perfected when he became Dean. You need to help him stabilize before something goes wrong and he has to duck into hell to avoid being so hurt that there is no escape. I do not want to put him through a second reincarnation, **said Mort gravely.

_I know. How bad was it?_

**Not as bad as it could have been, had he gone once the contract was up. But getting some payback for what those people did to make his life worse both as Harry and Dean did help some. It's just that humans have a threshold for psychological trauma and Dean's at the limit. But there is some hope.**

Sam was quiet.

**As Harry, he had nothing to buffer the bad times, no one to share his pain with. However, now he has you and his family. He knows you actually give a damn when he's sad or angry. All you have to do is be there for your brother and he should be able to pull through soon. Dean Harvelle is very resilient,** said Mort.

_Don't forget you. I know he's leaned on you for support in the past, especially when he found out about Adam._

**He uses me as a sounding board, nothing more.**

_Yes, but the mere fact he can talk to you without worrying about the other side being judgmental is something that is more precious to him than you realize. Having someone to vent to can be very therapeutic,_ said Sam.

**Now there's an irony. Me healing.**

Sam snorted in agreement. A reaper, healing someone? It smacked of irony.

* * *

She was tired. Four months ago she caught wind that Potter was not only alive, but in America of all places. It was the first real hint of where the Master of Death had vanished to.

She had been chosen because out of all of his former friends, she was the most likely to find him. If only because the rest had managed to leave before being forcibly drafted into this and could handle living in the muggle world for more than a few days.

She didn't need to be told why Harry had vanished. Anyone with half a brain and a pair of eyes could see why.

He had been tired long before he had been stuck in the unenviable position as the Ministry's poster boy and wetworks man. Even though he had a family, he had no love or real hope in his life.

The question the Ministry all but demanded to know was how he had escaped without a trace of where he went.

With how much Harry had left behind, the sheer power he had at his command (be it magical, political or bribing potential), the Ministry was naturally very nervous with him on the loose. They wanted him back, if only to insure he didn't turn on them.

The thing was...she didn't want to bring her friend back, even if they had broken off the friendship years ago. She knew Harry would fight tooth and nail to stay where he was. He wouldn't hesitate to kill her when she found him, if he even suspected for a second she would take him back.

He had nothing in England he wanted.


	18. Chapter 18

"Great. We just had to run into a dream root case," said Dean tiredly.

Sam had been the one to lose the coin toss, so he had gone in to talk to the kid.

And was stupid enough to accept a beer from him.

"What's so bad about dream root?"

"Nothing much...unless a magical gets a hold of it or someone with the right aural frequency. And unfortunately for you it looks like this is both," said Dean flatly.

"Dammit. So what now?"

"Now I get to dose your ass with this while I snag a piece of hair and then beat the crap out of this kid!" said Dean far too cheerfully.

"No! No way in hell am I taking that!" said Sam, recognizing it on sight.

The last time he was dosed with Draught of the Living Death, it took him a week to work out the kinks because the antidote was off!

Suddenly Loki appeared.

"Hey babe, what's got you so upset?" he asked, popping in a sucker.

"Dumbass drank a beer that belonged to someone with dream root and the aural frequency to use it. And here's the kicker...this kid's a squib!"

Loki winced. That was never good news.

"So basically Sam's choices are to take a chance and sleep, knowing this kid could come after him, dose himself with that overly strong sleeping potion in your hand, or stay awake?"

"Pretty much," said Dean amused.

"Loki, please tell me there's a fourth option! I am not drinking that crap twice!"

"Well there's always an out of body experience," offered Loki.

"An OBE? Seriously? That would open him up to possession!" said Dean scoffing.

"Not if you're the one holding his soul in possession. Master of Death remember? Or would you rather send in your animal form to take out this idiot?"

"You mean Stitch?"

"No, I mean your other form. The one Mort locked because you couldn't sustain it until you and Harry merged," corrected Loki.

"My animagus form?" said Dean surprised. To be honest, he had forgotten all about that form once he got Stitch. He was happy with his blue alien of chaos.

"That's the one. Apparently it's so magic-intensive Mort locked it early on. Now that you've regained your full power, you can finally use it. Small problem is that it's definitely not meant for enclosed spaces."

"Big?" said Dean weakly.

"Massive. And recognizable on sight for what it really is. You use that and any hope in hell you had of remaining unnoticed goes out the window," said Loki cheerfully. One of the perks of being him (his real self, not the pagan form he took) was that he could see into people's souls. It didn't hurt that Mort had told him shortly after telling Dean where the portal was to leave hell with his dog.

Though to be fair, Dean having _that_ form was unsurprising. It certainly explained the overprotective tendencies.

"So how do I send my animal form in again?"

"You two are telepathic, right? Just wait until Sammy falls asleep and make sure you have a hand on his shoulder. Then I want you to visualize sending your animal spirit into his mind to protect it. Kind of like an outside Occulmency deal," said Loki helpfully.

"How can I do that when I've never seen my animal form yet?"

"Don't need to. So long as you hold onto that fierce instinct to protect family it should respond appropriately. Who knows, you might be able to find Sammy's animal form since it refuses to show itself!"

"Oh, I know what my animal form is, but the last thing I want is to end up like, well that," said Sam.

"Now I have to do this, if only to find out what it is!" said Dean a little too eagerly.

Sam winced. His brother would never let him live it down once he knew.

* * *

The idiot who had turned killer with dream root dove into Sam's memories, trying to find something suitably traumatic so he could kill the guy.

He wasn't expecting what he found instead.

"So, you're the moron trying to hurt my brother. Too bad for you, we know you have dream root," said the man beside the massive thing sitting calmly dripping fire and acid in it's wake.

It wasn't hard to know what that _thing_ was. Any idiot who read fantasy could identify it on sight.

"Now, you have two choices. Either surrender and hand over the dream root and possibly live a normal life."

"Or?"

"Or I lay waste to your mind and turn you into a vegetable that will die by morning," said the man flatly.

"How about neither?" said the idiot, trying to use the power of the dream root against Dean. It hit a shield made of the _thing's _wings. The beast growled.

"Oh, tough luck. You just pissed him off. Well, nice knowing you loser!" said Dean far too cheerfully. He saw nothing, he heard nothing, and above all he _knew_ nothing. You tended to learn how to drown out screaming when you spent three months in hell.

He vanished into Sam's mind to find his animal form. Three seconds in and he left Sam's mind laughing his ass off.

"Dude, you're a black unicorn!" said Dean cackling.

"And you will pay for telling Loki that," said Sam deadpanning. He wasn't surprised Dean had such a huge and terrifying animal form, or that Mort had locked it.

He would have locked something like that up until the person was able to handle the strain of it too, if he had one like that.

"He's a black unicorn?" said Loki, a slow evil grin on his face. "Those are extremely rare you know."

"I know. But the fact I'm something that girly is embarrassing enough," said Sam. "Why couldn't I have gotten a wolf or something that cool?"

"Because you suck," said Dean happily. He had the perfect blackmail against his brother, and there was no way in hell he was letting Sam live this one down.

"Not everyone can have _that_ as an animal form Dean. Coincidentally, how the hell did you end up with..."

"Mort and I have an ongoing bet that his protective streak towards family is actually the hording tendencies going into overdrive," said Loki.

Sam blinked.

"That...would explain so much actually."

"So is the guy dead or what?" asked Loki.

"He either died from that attack or he was turned into a vegetable. Either way, he's not our problem anymore and it's his fault for not taking my warning," said Dean.

* * *

Dean took one look at the two idiots, and his mouth started twitching. Not from a grimace. No, this was him trying to suppress his massive evil grin at the two before him.

It was those fake hunters! The one he left that surprise for when they nearly messed up that tulpa hunt!

Apparently they recognized Dean too, because the first words out of their mouths were...

"IT'S YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO LEFT THAT STINK BOMB IN THE TRUNK!"

Oh yeah, they were pissed.

"Hey, I'm not the idiots who pissed off the man who has the world's worst stink bomb and the creature that makes the smell in his possession!" said Dean, though he had given up trying not to cackle.

Sam was pinching the bridge of his nose. Bear barked in amusement while Hati and Skoll laid down. Until Sam called on them, they let their Alpha deal with it.

It was just Sam's luck that Dean found a hunting partner and he got the laziest damn hell hounds Crowley happened to own. Loki found it hysterical. On the plus side he had managed to get them to settle into something that, while not really that manly, was better than some pampered poodle or god forbid a Pomeranian.

Both dogs were comfortably settled into the form of a Pugs. They might not have been tough guy dogs, but they were better than some of the ideas Loki kept suggesting, and few people took a tiny Pug seriously.

"So are you two morons here for the ghost hauntings? You do realize that the survival rate has been zero so far right?" continued Dean cheerfully.

"Say what? And who are you calling morons?!"

"Dean, if we don't get them out of here before..."

"Sammy, look at these idiots. Do you really think we could remove them before the time limit is up?" said Dean.

Sam looked at the two and their friends. These guys were complete idiots and still greenhorns who thought they knew everything.

"I see your point. Bind and through them in a salt circle until we kill the ghost?" said Sam.

"Don't forget to erase the tapes," said Dean. He took Bear into another room while Sam gave an apologetic look towards the civilians who were really in over their head.

"Thank Loki and any god listening for memory charms. _Stupefy!"_

It took Sam ten minutes to knock the civilians out, less than two to insure they wouldn't be getting in the way anytime soon and another minute to put a thick salt line around the bodies which were ramrod straight. He then set a magnet where the cameras were (effectively wiping them clean since they were digital) and made sure one of the dogs stayed with the group with orders to maul anything stupid enough to come close to them that wasn't Sam, Dean or another hell hound.

With Bear around, the likelihood of running into a fourth one was extremely unlikely. Especially with how territorial Bear was. He barely tolerated Sam's two hell hounds and that was because he had met them before under different circumstances.

After that it was a simple case of finding the bastard, pinning him down long enough for Dean to use one of his new 'powers' he had gotten from the upgrade in the pit, and then wait for the spells Sam had put on the group to wear off long enough to obliviate them.

He was not dealing with these people any longer than he had to dammit!

* * *

Dean was tired, he was cranky, and above all he was pissed. And the second he heard his birth father's voice he was in the mood to kill something.

Unfortunately for the Crocotta, Dean knew how to trace things like this to their origin. It took him half an hour to find the bastard and gank him before he turned into Stitch.

For some reason being in Stitch form always seemed to cheer him right up. Especially since Sam didn't mind scratching his ears while driving.

The only downside was the twin pugs in the other seat snoring away. Bear never got to sit in the front. He was just too big.

* * *

"So we either go on vacation or hunt down a modern-day Frankenstein?" said Sam.

"Pretty much. Mort said it's up to us when we kill him," said Dean.

"...How long will this take, and can we go on vacation after?" asked Sam seriously.

"About a few days, once we set Bear on his ass, if that. Remember, he's got a ton of conflicting scents so he shouldn't be too hard to locate," said Dean. He was way too cheerful about this.

Probably because he knew that had he not filled that deal early and then come back, Sam would have dragged him on this hunt to find out how to duplicate the research.

As it was, the minute Bear found where he was hiding Dean was destroying every last note. It was why Mort had asked for his help in the first place. The man was ignoring the laws of Death in a rather gruesome fashion.

Since Dean was effectively Death's mortal hand when reapers couldn't do the job, it fell on him to deal with it.

And because that usually meant taking out monsters who went after regular humans, Dean rarely had a problem with doing it.

Sam however was more worried about the humming. Whenever Dean hummed, he was bothered about something. It was one of the major telling signals he gave off.

In this case he was fairly sure he was hearing Dean hum a country song of some sort, which was weird even for them.

"Dean, is something bugging you?" asked Sam carefully.

"Have you seen the date lately Sammy?"

Sam went over it in his head, and winced. No wonder Dean wasn't happy.

He had less than a month before he would have to go into hiding to keep the upper demons from figuring out he had already beat the contract through a loophole they hadn't realized existed. Which meant he had an entire three weeks before he had to quit being Dean for a while and hide as someone else. And he hated that kind of thing.

He was highly tempted to just go Godzilla in hell and say screw hiding. (Godzilla was what he immediately called his animal form, despite the fact it looked nothing like the King of the Kaiju.) But Mort, the dirty bastard, just had to appeal to his Marauder self.

Plus he promised pictures of the looks on the demon's faces when they realized yes, Dean wasn't coming to hell on their schedule and still was on the loose on Earth.

And since he had regained his full power, the odds of them repeating the same thing they did to get Dean _into_ hell plummeted. Especially now that he could turn into Godzilla, which Death assured him could kill any demon (or angel) stupid enough to get within blast range.

Personally Dean couldn't wait.

Dean suddenly stopped humming as an evil idea came to him. Sam became very worried.

"Dean...?"

"Sammy when Bear finds this bastard you might want to climb really, really fast. I don't want you to get nailed by accident."

"Dean, what are... Quit smiling like that! It's creeping me out!" said Sam freaking out.

"Sammy, you of all people should know patience is not my strong suit. And dammit all, I'm bored!"

Sam winced.

"How about after I get a good look at Godzilla I apparate back to the car and get it started for a quick get away?"

"That would be perfect."

Since Dean had already asked the reapers (the chick inside was dead before they got there, so he didn't feel a whit of guilt disposing of everything inside) he waited until Bear went to Sam before turning into Godzilla.

Sam whistled in spite of himself.

It wasn't every day you got to see a dragon bigger than the average skyscraper that could shoot fire _and_ acid. The talons alone were bigger than he was tall!

In retrospect, Godzilla was a fairly good name for Dean's animagus form. They both meant one thing when they were around...absolute chaos and outright distruction.

Sam disapparated back to the car with Bear, a good half a mile away. So he did get to see some of the destruction.

He just wasn't in blast range.

**He just couldn't wait to unleash his blast could he?**

_This is Dean. You know how he feels about hiding when he would rather be in the thick of it. Besides, he's been wanting to unleash that for months._

**Well, all things considered he could have picked a worse time to test it out. And he did complete my request, even if the destruction is ten times worse than it could have been. But you had better leave and fast, because the one who is tracking him would have felt that.**

_Thanks for the warning._

Dean came back whistling and looking particularly proud of himself. However he was also sensible enough to know they needed to leave. Like yesterday if possible.

They were gone before the poor bastard sent to bring the current Master of Death back to England came within fifty miles of the place.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean hid as Stitch on the dashboard as Sam went in with a convincing fake version of his brother. He winced at the howl Bear let loose when his double was mauled by hell hounds. Still, he couldn't wait to see the look on that bitch Lilith's face when she found out it had been a fake Dean she had just killed.

As he knew from experience, it would take months before anyone figured out he wasn't there. If Mort hadn't given him directions he would probably still be down there now looking for Dumbledore and the others just to piss on them.

Now he had to deal with being a...shudder...redhead until they found out that he wasn't actually dead.

Honestly, he disliked having red hair since it only served to remind him of that bastard Ron. The twins and Charlie were alright, but they died after the war. So yes, he had problems with being a red head.

It was still preferable to being a damn blond though. That way lead to madness and stupidity. Just look at the entire Malfoy line!

* * *

Loki was grinning. Dean, or rather Daniel Singer, as his second identity claimed had called him in to take his baby brother on a long overdue vacation. The first trip was the one Sam asked for when Dean gave him the choice. The rest, however, would be well outside the States.

All he had said was "Pugs on a surfboard" and Loki immediately agreed to take them anywhere with a great beach and killer waves.

Too bad he couldn't ride a surfboard as Stitch. Not with how easily his creature form sank.

The good news was that they had passports so they could leave the country. The bad news was that Dean would have to use his alter identity just to do it.

Fortunately Dean had been Daniel before, on a case. Hell, it was the name on his fake government badges! It was like slipping into a pair of shoes he had forgotten only to find they still fit perfectly.

Sam and Jo had mocked him because he took those acting lessons in high school. Who was the better liar now?

Though he still hated the fact he made Daniel a redhead.

"So where exactly did Sammy ask to go for a vacation?"

"Disney Land and Universal Studios, respectively," said Dean.

"Seriously?"

"Hey, I'm not arguing. With how little hunting makes us we've never had a chance to actually go see those places...and when we were young enough to properly enjoy them, John never would have paid for it because he was so damn paranoid and was more interested in hunting," shrugged Dean, "So if my brother wants to have fun in some theme parks, then what the hell, why not?"

"Plus the fact you might get to see Lilo and Stitch...?" said Loki grinning.

"Bonus. I need to get a new copy anyway, because the ones I have are skipping like crazy. And Sam destroyed my copy of the soundtrack," said Dean scowling.

At some point when Dean was in hell, Sam found his copy of the soundtrack and proceeded to massacre it. To be fair, Dean did have it on his music player, but he liked to play the CD at full blast on his laptop.

That was stress relief.

"Okay, this I have to join in because I want to see what Sam's like when he's not in hunter mode," said Loki.

Dean smirked.

"Then you'll be designated the official picture guy," said Dean.

"Wait, you mean you don't mind?"

"Better you than this Ruby chick who's been hanging around us. We've run into her five times on a hunt, and from what she's been hinting at she remembers being human. Frankly the only demon I'm willing to trust is Crowley because I know I _can't_ trust him!"

"Wait, did you just say Ruby?"

"I know. She's a demon, one who seems to be helpful. Unfortunately for her I was paying attention while I was gone. She's one of Lilith's, and there's no way I'm letting her near my brother while the demons search for me in the pit," said Dean flatly.

"So you know..."

"I know she's not going to be near my baby brother if I have anything to say about it!" said Dean.

"Actually I was more interested if you knew about the seals," said Loki, leaning against the Impala.

"You mean the one keeping Lucifer in? Yeah, I was listening to the demons. Supposedly my breaking in hell was the first. Can't wait to see their reaction when they find out I slipped through the cracks!" said Dean smirking.

Loki was surprisingly easy to talk to, and Sam treated him the same way they treated Mort.

He wasn't a source of information on hunts (unless he wanted to be) and they weren't going to ask him for help when things got tough unless they had no other options and would do their best to repay the favor it kind. Loki had been surprised by that attitude, but in reality he liked it. A lot. It meant he was more than a source of information and extra power to them.

He was a friend.

However since they were still in the States, Loki was going to wait before he sprung his real surprise on them. Sam had an idea of what Loki was going to tell them, but he had yet to confirm it. All he knew was that Loki was way too powerful to be an ordinary pagan Trickster.

* * *

Sam couldn't help his grin. They were in Florida at Universal Studios for the first half of their much needed vacation. Dean was grinning too...if only because he had just given Sam a pair of puppy ears and a tail that was wagging every time he walked.

Loki was doing his best not to laugh at the sight of an overly excited Sam Harvelle with dog features.

That was before Dean showed Loki his favorite trick that he taught all three dogs.

"Alright guys, put your paws up!" said Dean grinning.

Loki looked confused and Sam was exasperated.

All three dogs sat on their haunches and then put their front paws up in the air.

It took him a few seconds before Loki burst out laughing. That was the most hilarious thing he had seen in years.

"This is hilarious."

"Wait until later. Danny puts on some music and they do this weird dance. And every time he says 'put your paws up' they do that," said Sam tiredly.

Loki looked at Dean impressed.

"I have to see that."

"Oh I can do you one better. It's on Youtube," said Dean grinning.

"Didn't it have like two million hits?" said Sam.

"Just went up to three. Apparently two pugs and a St. Bernard doing a dance and then acting like they were arrested by cops is internet gold," said Dean.

"I bet!" said Loki laughing. He had to look that one up later.

* * *

Dean was staring, his eyebrows twitching.

"Danny what... What the hell is this?" said Sam.

There, on the park signboard, was a notice for a new attraction.

_The Wizarding World of Harry Potter_.

It was only out of common sense that kept him from going down there and trying to find out what the hell was going on.

Loki however, took one look at the sign and winced. He had forgotten about that particular attraction.

"Danny, calm down. I'll get you the books to read later. Unless you want to go back to England and kill the author, giving those idiots a chance to find you," said Loki carefully.

"The author's British?" said Dean sharply.

"She's from Europe. It's a hugely popular series. I'm surprised the MoM over there hasn't picked up on it yet, or she might be a squib," confirmed Loki. He had never read or seen the movies, but he had heard about them.

Dean grit his teeth.

"Let's just avoid that section...and make sure Danny here is kept from doing anything stupid to get his tracker on us," said Sam finally.

He wasn't above having Bear stay on top of Dean all night just to keep him from causing trouble.

* * *

Sam could only feel relief leaving Universal Studios. Since Dean found out about the _Harry Potter_ series (which was for the most part accurate, except for several parts which were just made up) he was in a foul mood.

That was before Loki gave him something to take his mind off it. Dean had half a mind to kick the guy's ass just for writing about their life.

The only reason he did it was because the guy got several facts so wrong it wasn't even funny. Like the part about them actually caring about John enough to go _looking_ for him when he went missing.

Or the way Sam died. It was pathetic.

Loki was actually wondering how the hell the current Prophet got so many facts wrong.

"Next up, Disney Land!" said Loki far too cheerfully.

"Are you high or something? You're a little too..."

"I may or may not have run into some hippies earlier with special brownies," said Loki, not confirming it.

"Hand some over or else," said Dean.

Sam came into the room to find Dean in Stitch form riding Bear and acting loopy.

"Special brownies or unusual strong painkillers?" he asked.

"Brownies. Wait, how did you...?" asked Loki.

"Dean only acts like that when he's loopy from either industrial strength pain killers, or when he manages to get hippie brownies," said Sam flatly. He had seen it only twice, mostly because Dean hated it when he was so out of it he didn't notice his brother getting black mail material on him.

Loki laughed and pointed at the camera. Sam snorted.

"Disney tomorrow?"

"Better believe it! This is comic _gold_!"

"DAMN IT! WHO PUT THIS MAGNET HERE?!"

"Magnet next to Loki's camera?" asked Sam.

"Damn straight. It's bad enough you record it when I get loopy, I don't want him with any real ammo on me."

Sam sighed, before he said loudly to speak over Loki's ranting "Lo, wasn't that thing powered by runes anyway?"

Loki paused in his bitch fest, then his face brightened. Electronics run by runes were rarely ruined by magnets. He rewound the tape and started cackling when he realized it was still intact.

"Dammit Sammy, did you have to remind him?"

"Better he gets blackmail now then later," said Sam wisely. Besides, he had seen the tape. All it had was Stitch riding Bear like a horse and being treated like a puppy. Not really blackmail material.

* * *

Disney was fun...until they somehow got trapped on the "It's a Small World" ride. Five hours of that and Dean was ready to never come back. The worst part was that the tape itself kept repeating and the staff didn't have the presence of mind to shut the damn thing off until someone finally realized that people weren't coming back an hour in.

Even Sam considered that the worst part of Disney because Loki, for some unknown reason, insisted on humming the damn song to annoy them!

Three days after that fiasco (after Dean had gotten an autograph from Stitch, to Sam's amusement) they were in Hawaii.

And, as Dean had promised, he got the pug twins and Bear riding a surfboard. It was hilarious. Loki thought it funny enough to make that his new wallpaper on the phone he popped into existence!

* * *

She was vastly irritated. She didn't know how Harry or whoever the hell had the Hallows had escaped her notice for so long, but the only information she had on the new Master was that the man had a dragon for an animagus form.

And even that had been nearly impossible to come by!

At this rate the Ministry would send hunters after _her_ and slap some magic draining cuffs so she couldn't escape.

Everyone in England knew America had a demon and hunter problem. Both were why it was generally avoided by the muggleborn.

It was considered a miracle that there ever _was_ an American Ministry to work with.

Still, she had come to this blasted country without registering her wand. She wanted to be in and out of the States before they had a chance to complain about her abducting one of their citizens.

A pity Ginny had recently been arrested for trying to get into the Potter vaults. She was furious when she originally found out Harry had abandoned her and the children.

Then again everyone who knew the Potters also knew that the kids weren't even Harry's. Sure, they had been born in the right time frame, but according to the goblins the first child James was in fact the child of Blaise Zabini and the girl Lily was from some random muggle Ginny had run into at a pub. She was notorious among the pure blood circles for being a cheater.

It was believed Harry had found out, which was why he left without saying anything. The fact he was kind enough to leave two vaults for the kids wasn't unusual, but now the money was up for grabs.

At least, that is until the goblins stated that the real owner was still very much alive and started this mess.

So long as the soul was alive, the vaults remained active. He just had to claim them.


	20. Chapter 20

Dean was lounging around in the sun when he spotted her through his sunglasses.

She had bushy brown hair barely contained by a headband, a very irritated look on her face, and a wand holster on her right arm. Fortunately she had no idea what he looked like.

"_Sam here."_

"Sammy, tell your boytoy we might have to leave in a hurry. There's someone here to ruin our much needed vacation."

"_Who?"_

"The chick who stole the rabbit's foot. I am not coming out of hiding just because some morons in England want their precious 'savior' back. Not unless they _want_ me to lay waste to magical London."

Unfortunately for Dean, his tracker happened to hear that comment. Her eyes narrowed on him with a glare.

"Shit. I think she spotted me. I'll see you in a bit. Tell Loki to keep tracking me," said Dean, hanging up. He put his mirror phone into his pocket, seeing as how he had left his cells with Bobby for a reason.

His eyes met the girl's and without a seconds hesitation he took off running into the water. In his hand was the surfboard he had been laying on, and he could feel her fury from shore.

He almost missed the ten foot tiger shark heading right towards him.

Dean weighed his options.

Either go back to shore and deal with a very pissed off witch...or show a shark who was boss. He pulled back his left arm, waited for the thing to come within striking distance, and then punched it on the nose right as it came up to the surface to take a chunk of of him.

It didn't know what hit it. The shark actually went swimming backwards for a moment, and seemed to actually look at Dean. Dean just kept swimming into the waves until he was deep enough to dive.

By that time the life guard was calling for all the surfers to pull in because he had spotted the shark fin.

Dean was well below the waves and shifting into Godzilla before the woman on shore could stop him.

* * *

Sam was on a rented fishing boat with Loki. They had been searching for hours looking for Dean since he got the call from the manager saying his brother's surfboard had been found on the beach shortly after a tiger shark had been spotted. Sam, however, knew his brother. Dean wouldn't come out of hiding until he was sure it was safe for both of them.

That was when Loki spotted a massive wave heading their way.

"Looks like Dean-o is heading out way," he commented. Sam looked where Loki was and saw a massive black shape easily ten times bigger than the boat they rented heading their direction.

_Dean, will you get out of Godzilla mode already?_ Sam asked rubbing his forehead.

_Yeah...about that. I kinda...can't...at the moment._

_What._

_See I was passing by this underwater dock and I may have accidentally pissed off the Russians. At least it looked Russian. Thing is they were made enough to hit me with a torpedo and while it hurt like a bitch I'm not sure it's safe to leave dragon-form at the moment in case the injuries kill me in human form..._

"What did he say Sammy?" asked Loki.

"Apparently he may have pissed off some Russians, who shot a torpedo at him. He's not entirely sure it's safe for him to return to human because he's still recovering from that hit."

"How the hell did he piss off Russia?" asked Loki incredulous.

_Dean, how exactly did you piss them off?_

_I may or may not have bumped into their sub, causing them to nearly crash into an underwater cliff. I was pretty deep at the time._

_Why were you that far down?_

_Well to see if I could of course! I was so far down I saw one of those weird angler fish that make their own lights! Should have heard the guys in the sub cuss me out when I made sure they would be able to reach shore about their accident._

_Please tell me you at least took decompression into account._

_I went slow. That's why it took me so long to get this far...had to knock out their sonars so they couldn't follow which direction I went in._

"Well?"

"He hit a sub several thousand feet below sea level. Apparently they were cussing him out and he decided to bring them back up high enough that they would be able to reach someone up on the surface for help."

"How far down we talking about?"

"You know those creepy angler fish that have big teeth, creepy eyes and lure their prey with light? He saw one of them," said Sam. He looked like he had a migraine.

"Sammy, do you have any idea how deep those things are?" said Loki seriously. He had seen one of those fish before. The depths they were at were normally not survivable for humans.

_What? I have thick skin you damn pagan. Coincidentally, why the hell is there so much light in here?_

Loki looked at the annoyed dragon wide eyed.

"You can read my mind."

_Telepathic, dumbass. Now answer my question. Why is your mind so full of light? It's kinda hard to see._

"Dean?"

_Sam, avoid talking to Loki mind-to-mind. I can just barely tolerate it, and if I'm having trouble then there's no chance in hell you'd be able to deal with it._

"He's right Sammy. Talking to me via telepathy is a really, really bad idea. I guess Mort did some extra tweaking to you in hell," said Loki giving Dean a strange look.

Dean suddenly saw something else, before Loki threw him out.

The massive dragon head, which was easily the size of the boat itself (think about the size of the one from the first _Jaws_ movie and you get the idea) looked at Loki.

_Why did I hear the same accent Lucifer had in the pit?_

"Accent?" said Sam.

Loki check the surrounding area. Nothing around for miles except the fish. He sighed.

"I suppose now's as good a time as any. My name wasn't always Loki. And Lucifer happens to be my older brother."

Dean looked at Loki, before something clicked. The two on the boat could feel his hot breath on their skin. It was almost painful.

What Dean did next really shocked the hell out of them both.

"_Gabriel."_

Loki and Sam stared.

"You can talk. In dragon form," deadpanned Sam in disbelief.

_Not very well. It took me months before I could talk full sentences as Stitch remember?_

"How the hell did you..."

_Lucifer mentioned one of his little brothers, one of the arch angels, went missing right before he was tossed into the cage. Said Gabriel had enough of the fighting and left before Micheal forced him to chose sides._

"I forgot you talked to Lucifer for a while," muttered Gabriel.

_Try about seven hundred years. I spent an Earth week talking to him, but that far down it was a hundred years to a day. Mort mentioned about fixing my aura so Lucifer could keep chatting with me from the pit._

"Wait...my boyfriend's an _arch angel_?" said Sam, dropping into the nearest chair in shock.

Dean snorted.

_At this point Sam, I'm just glad he's not a demon like Ruby. By the way, are all the host as irritating as you or are you special?_

Gabriel would have been offended. Almost. Possibly.

"The host for the most part is stuck up and self righteous like you wouldn't believe. I dropped most of that when I became Loki," said Gabriel, before an idea occurred to him, "Hey Sammy, how do you feel about kids?"

"What kids? Wait. You mean those stories about you having kids is true?"

Gabriel nodded, before his expression turned sour.

"Odin went nuts about two, maybe three centuries ago and cursed three of them and threw the other in purgatory. Hel has a sanctuary down there now that's protected by Dad where the monsters go to avoid His mistakes. Thing is, I can't get to Fenrir, Jor or Sleipnir while Odin's alive...and Dean's the most powerful thing in existence barring Mort."

_You want to end his curse and bring your kids out of wherever he stashed them._

"Isn't Mort just a reaper though?"

Seeing Dean and Gabriel stare at him, he realized that maybe Dean wasn't being entirely truthful about his longtime friend.

"Isn't he?" he almost begged.

_Actually, Mort is what I called him and the name stuck. He's not a reaper... he's their _Boss_._

Sam looked like he needed to get blackout drunk.

"My older brother is best friends with Death. To hell with this, I need a drink," said Sam sagging into his chair.

"By the way...how long are you going to stay in that big form? Can't you shrink or something, because seeing my face in one of your eyeballs is rather disconcerting," asked Gabriel.

Dean did shrink, but not before he asked _You know what disconcerting means_?

"Oh ha, ha, ha. Very funny."

Where a colossal black dragon had been, was now a dragon about the size of Sam.

"Wait a damn minute. Since when can you shrink yourself?" demanded Sam.

_I always could, but where's the fun in being a dragon the size of a car? People don't take your threats seriously!_

Sam slapped the head.

Dean pouted.

"Just for that you're coming with me so I can honestly say you got stuck in a riptide and we managed to find you," said Sam irritably.

_Bitch_.

"Jerk," said Sam without thinking.

"Now ladies, be nice," said Gabriel. He got slapped on the head with Dean's tail.

* * *

A few days after that mess, Dean had an unwelcome visitor.

Hermione Granger.

"Look, I don't want any trouble from a half-assed British witch," said Dean flatly.

"Shut up Harry. Do you have any idea what I've been through trying to just _find _you?" she hissed.

"Name's Daniel Singer, not Harry. And anyway, what sort of idiot would believe a Brit?" said Dean glaring at her.

"Don't lie to me Potter. I have your magical signature from when you were in school and it's leading me right to you. Now hand over the Hallows."

"First off, rude much? Second, I don't have them. All you have to do in order to get the same powers as the Master of Death is to be touched by him three times and come back. I was touched by a reaper, saved my brother from Death by making a deal, and I treat him like an old friend. If you idiots are really that desperate to earn that sort of power, then tell the idiots you follow that they simply have to recreate all three brothers."

Hermione glared at him.

"And what about Ginny and the children?"

"Ginny Potter? Lady, that ship has sailed and crashed into an iceberg. Plus the whole thing was considered null and void once Potter gave up his body. The 'till death do us part' clause. As far as she's concerned, she's not my problem. And the kids? They were already taken care of before he went missing," said Dean.

The 'Potter' children already had a trust vault that would last them up until two years after graduation, if they were smart. Ginny had a five thousand galleon vault which was more than enough to work with, if she hadn't spent it already. The rest was sealed until Dean reclaimed his vaults. If he ever did.

Dean gave Hermione a venomous glare.

"Here's the deal, _Granger_. If I am forced to deal with magical England any time during the next century, I will cheerfully level it to the ground. And I can do it," said Dean.

Something about his aura told her he was not joking.

"I will inform them...but the next won't be as nice as I am."

"Bring it on. I'm not leaving my _real_ family just for a laughable parody of one I have no interest in. Now get lost."

Hermione left without another word. This was not her Harry.

The Harry she knew would never have been that nice to an enemy. This was someone who knew about the few things that made life worth living, something Harry never understood.

She dumped her report down a tube, snapped her wand, and vanished from Magical Europe. No way in _hell_ was she going to be around when those idiots forced the current Master of Death back to England. She wasn't suicidal!


	21. Chapter 21

Four months. That was how long the contract's original deadline had been up. And aside from the minor hiccup of dealing with Granger, Dean could honestly say it was the best vacation he'd had in years.

But all good things, sadly, must come to an end.

Gabriel was being a bigger ass than usual, and had taken them to Europe without telling Dean where they were going.

Dean knew something was up the second he heard a British accent (a real one not a fake one) for the first time in two months from more than one person. That was only compounded when he saw someone pay with pounds at a cash register.

Which was why his first reaction was to give the damn arch angel a black eye, to Mort's open amusement. Still, this did present an opportunity he wasn't about to waste.

Time to really do some damage to these bastards and spread the fact he had no intention of ever being their pawn again home.

Sam had done a doubletake at the gray eyes his brother had along with the red hair, but when he told him what he was planning kept his mouth shut. Besides, he was openly curious about the community which had used his brother in his previous life before he finally had enough.

Dean walked into Diagon, after faking no knowledge of the wall and what the pattern was to open it with Sam close at his heels. Bear wasn't on a leash for once, but the Sam's hell hounds were. Dean was half-surprised that the alarms didn't go off the second he stepped into Gringotts.

"Name and business?" said the goblin bored, once he was done counting the jewels on the counter.

"I need to speak to the manager in charge of my account. I recently got a letter from the American branch but they stated that the main vault was here. Unfortunately they never gave me a key to the vault, stating that they had to renew the ones currently active."

That was partially true, but not the full truth.

Dean and Sam had an account in America, and the Campbells had moved their fortune to the States when they left England. A fortune that was mostly gone at this point. However the only way he was ever going to send a very painful message to these damn magicals was if he removed the fortune Harry had when he was alive from their claws permanently.

"Three doors down and to the right. Next!"

"I was wondering when you would be returning," said Ripfang, once the goblins saw who it really was. To be fair, all Dean did was call Mort. They took one look at him and knew who he wasn't without any wizards noticing the exchange.

"A certain pagan, who will be suffering my wrath for bringing us here, thought it would be funny to make me return to England despite the fact he knows I hate it with a fierce and fiery passion. Coincidentally I may be inclined to charbroil or melt a few areas in exchange for weapons or a bribe."

Seeing the goblin's confusion, Dean shifted into Godzilla and back.

"A black dragon with fire and acid? It's rare enough to have that form, but two elements? Though it's a bit small."

"It's not small, Dean just adjusted the size. He's bigger than Big Ben full sized," said Sam automatically.

"That makes more sense. Now about your accounts. Currently the main vault has accumulated..."

Dean stopped him right there.

"First off, I could honestly care less about the gold at this point. I just want to screw over the bastards who turned me into a living weapon. Second, I would be willing to fund and organize a relocation effort for the entire goblin nation and we can all laugh at the idiot Europeans try and fail to reclaim their gold."

Ripfang had an evil look. This was the chance they had been waiting for. A way to keep the gold and piss off the wizards who belittled them just because they believed they _won_ a few wars. Many forgot that the only reason the goblins didn't bankrupt them outright was because they got a percentage of the bigger vaults.

"Contact the American Ministry and ask them if they would like to have a small percentage of British gold in exchange for not telling the idiots here were we left."

"And for hiding me from them. Be funny to see Malfoy's face when he finds out he's broke all because of me," agreed Dead evilly.

Draco Malfoy had, for some reason, been elected Minister shortly before Harry had enough.

Dean already had a plan for bilking the British wizards out of their fortunes.

Step one: secure the goblin's passage to America

Step two: have the entire fortune left to Harry Potter moved to Switzerland under the gnomes

Step three: activate one of the older, forgotten clauses in goblin law...the right of conquest.

Most, if not all, of the Death Eaters had been from old and wealthy families. And since they were subservient to Voldemort at the time of his death, to the point that they wore his mark, then by goblin law when Harry killed him he also won their vaults as 'loot'. It was a fact that no one bothered to tell Harry, but something Mort had 'conveniently' knocked the book over for Dean to find when he first found out about his past life. Needless to say Dean was rather pissed learning about that.

Step four: escape Britain...but not before alerting the Prophet after the gold had been transferred with a big old "SCREW YOU" from Harry.

Harry was going to be 'nice' enough to alert the sheeple that he had just legally robbed them and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it. It was also his way of telling them that anyone who tried to force him to return was going to die...painfully, slowly and in as many inhumane ways as he could concieve.

It was spiteful, mean and something Gabriel would likely approve of considering how badly they had screwed Harry over before he left.

Needless to say the goblins approved of his plan.

Dean had, after the plans were finalized, gotten blackout drunk as a last farewell to bloody England and the sheeple who had made his life a living hell. Sam was out with Gabriel, raiding Honeydukes before it was likely to go out of business. It had been heavily invested in by the Potters, and with all that gold going away it was unlikely the man would recover for a while.

Hence why Gabriel was going to buy the place out before the man was broken from the news.

Well that and Sam wanted an owl. He loved his pugs, but he wanted a pet that wouldn't be freaked out by Bear. Besides, he had seen Dean's memories of Hedwig.

When Dean woke up, the first thing he asked himself was...

_'Exactly how drunk was I last night to do this much damage?'_

It was the area where Sam and Bobby had buried the fake. The place looked like a bomb had gone off, trees were knocked down and everything.

Dean looked like crap, he was thirsty as hell and he was currently sporting a hell of a hangover. There was something else though. Something on the edge of his senses that kept pinging on his internal alarms.

It wasn't until he heard the humming that he realized what it was.

_'Angels? What the fuck is going on? Why are there angels here? And why hasn't Mort come to complain about it?'_

Mort was not happy when Dean was around angels. The only reason he didn't care about Gabriel was because the idiot was more pagan than angel and was very firmly attached to Sam. The worst he would do was prank the hell out of Dean.

However this was different.

Still, Dean was assured enough to go into the abandoned gas station and find some water. He was thirsty from all that drinking last night!

It wasn't until he passed by a mirror that he noticed something was wrong. It took him a good minute to realize what.

His hair was brown again, and his eyes were the same brilliant shade of green. Then the mirror began to fog up and Mort appeared, writing on the reflective glass.

**Dean, don't react or speak. The angels believe that you were 'saved' from the pit by an angel named Castiel, and they have no idea you weren't even down there. I brought you here to keep up the ruse. Once you speak to this Castiel, I will also open a link between you and Lucifer. Remember, you have to convince him that the Apocalypse isn't worth the trouble he'll get from you.**

**As far as Castiel will remember, he found and 'saved' you from the pit. And here's fair warning...they are as out of date as the demons apparently are about the fact you are no longer a Winchester. Feel free to correct Castiel before he makes that mistake, since he will be watching you the closest.**

Dean didn't react. He was good like that, and frankly the idea of telepathy with a hangover this bad wouldn't be worth the headache.

Then he spotted something that definitely didn't belong in the gas station inside the cash drawer. A hangover remedy.

Thank you Mort.

Without warning, Dean heard this loud high-pitched whine from nowhere. He could hear something akin to words, but he had no idea what the hell was being said. It wasn't any language he spoke.

What really bothered him was that the whine was apparently at the right frequency to break glass. He ducked when all the windows were blown.

Just as quickly as it started, it stopped. Dean carefully looked up.

He would have sworn he heard whooshing, like something with wings blowing past.

And to complete his crappy morning, his magical phone went off.

"_Dean, where the hell are you? Gabe said he's sensing you back in America."_

"Right, tell that idiot boyfriend of yours that his little brothers are idiots. Apparently heaven thought _now_ was a fine time to drag my ass 'out' of the pit. See you at Bobby's," said Dean flatly.

"_Say what?!"_ said Gabriel, his face filling the phone. It was actually a mirror.

"Your brothers went into the pit and one just did a fly by. Tried to say something but I couldn't understand a word of it," said Dean.

Gabriel groaned on the other end of the phone. Just great. His asshole brothers would be on Earth for the foreseeable future.

"On the plus side I think Mort just gave me permission to corrupt Lucifer to our side. Said to convince him that continuing the fight wouldn't be worth the trouble he'd get from me," said Dean grinning. Thank god for hangover remedies and a merciful Death.

"_Now you're talking my language. We'll meet you at Bobby's!_" said Gabriel grinning evilly.

Corrupting Lucifer so that he doesn't fight Micheal? Gabriel would rather convert his brother to the fun of pranking the hell out of their uptight brother than trying to kill him!

"Boy, what the hell are you doing back?" asked Bobby gruffly.

"Apparently heaven decided to 'rescue' me from hell. I woke up with a bitch of a hangover and a warning from Mort that they're going to be observing us for the future," said Dean rolling his eyes.

"Great..." said Bobby sarcastically.

"Coincidentally if you hear a high pitched whine, cover your ears and avoid glass."

"That would be an angel trying to talk without a vessel. We have that kind of effect. So what exactly did he say to you anyway?" asked Gabriel.

"I don't care what relationship you have with these two idjits, but any and all pranks wars are to be done _outside_ the property and away from me an' Ellen. Are we clear pagan?" said Bobby looking Gabriel in the eye.

"Fair enough."

"What in... Sam, where the hell did you get that bird?!" yelled Bobby.

Sam blinked, then looked at Loki, his new owl. The bird was like an owl version of Gabriel, hence why he had named it after the arch angel's Trickster persona. Gabriel had thought it amusing enough and had been flattered Sam thought that highly of him.

He had a second cage with a year-old owl he had found when he went to buy Loki. It was a female and looked almost like Hedwig from Harry's memories.

"I bought them. Relax Bobby, they're trained post owls," said Sam rolling his eyes.

Bobby looked shifty... Gabriel suddenly blinked as he had an idea why.

"You're afraid of birds?"

"Shut up ye damn Trickster!"

"Oh this I have to hear. What happened?"

Bobby refused to look the two in the eye, but he knew Dean. He was a dog on a bone sometimes.

"It was after _The Birds_ first came out. Some damn witch cast a curse on me that attracted the damn things for a week. After that I couldn't even be around the caged kind without having flashbacks...hell the only reason I lived after that was because I ducked when a whole flock of the damn things tried to skewer me and hit the witch instead!"

Dean winced.

"What if we kept the bird..."

"Birds," corrected Sam absently.

"Birds...wait, birds? Why did you buy more than one?"

"Ask me that when you see the one I got you. No way in hell am I sitting around on my ass twice after capture without you having a way to contact me without stealing Loki," said Sam flatly.

"...You named your owl after this dipshit?" said Dean incredulous.

"I take offense to that," said Gabriel mock insulted.

"Anyway, how about we agree to keep the birds outside and only bring them in during cold weather and never around you?"

Bobby looked Dean square in the eye.

"Standard demon clause, and I'll ignore they exist," said Bobby.

"Deal."

Gabriel however looked confused.

"What's the standard demon clause?"

"Basically no contacting the only demon I even consider remotely trustworthy for information around Bobby, the Roadhouse or anyone who knows and doesn't like him. We have to meet at a neutral location if we want to chat," said Dean, "Anyway, Bobby, where did you put the pensieve? I want this feathered idiot to translate whatever the hell his brother said."

"Third cabinet in the library," said Bobby without hesitation.

Gabriel listened to the words, and while they were somewhat mangled because Dean's aural frequency had been tweaked during the angel trying to talk to him, he got the general gist of it.

"_'My name is Castiel, and I wish to meet. Heaven has a job for you Dean Winchester...'_" said Gabriel, waiting for Dean and Sam's irritation to blow up a lightbulb before continuing _"'And I would like to speak to you without having being shot at.'_"

Dean twitched.

"Who said I would waste bullets on a damn angel? If it doesn't work on you then what's the point of trying it on him?"

Gabriel cackled. Dean had, in a fit of irritation, shot Gabriel in the ass when he walked in on him and Sam in bed. Gabriel had been annoyed, but otherwise unharmed. He had also made a point to lock the damn door after.


	22. Chapter 22

Castiel, when Dean finally met the angel, was strangely adorable. He looked like a puppy who had been kicked often but was still very much loyal to his owner. It was strange. And the weirdest thing was that he had these, well, puppy dog eyes that seemed entirely natural.

Sam had taken one look between the angel who was _supposed_ to save Dean from hell and his brother, and mentally started howling with laughter. Finally! He had some payback on his damn brother for all the times he made fun of him and Gabriel!

"So...you're an angel? Mind explaining why you broke all that glass?"

"I was attempting to talk to you. I thought you couldn't hear me?" he stated simply, though that last sounded more like a question and the way he cocked his head in confusion had Dean twitching.

Inwardly Sam really, really wished he could record this without Dean noticing. Until he remembered he could always show this to his boyfriend through the pensieve. Gabriel would likely get a kick out of the obvious instant attraction Dean had to this Castiel guy.

To be fair, Dean was a bigger sucker for dogs than even Sam was. It was why the puppy dog eye technique was so damn effective on his brother.

"Dean Winchester, heaven has..." started Castiel before Dean growled.

"What the hell did you just call me?" he hissed.

"Dean Winchester...?"

"My _name_," he stressed, "Is _NOT_ Winchester. I haven't gone by that name in well over a decade and there's not a chance in hell I'm going to start using that son of a bitch's name now. Even Sam doesn't answer to that bastard's name."

Seeing Castiel's confusion, Sam took pity on him.

"Dean and I found something that we didn't agree with about John Winchester, and he nearly tried to kill Dean since he was eleven we've been living with our adoptive mother and father instead. We broke contact with John years ago after we found out something we couldn't forgive him for," clarified Sam.

"If you want to work with us, _angel_, then call us the Harvelle brothers. Otherwise we're just going to ignore anything you say and we'll happily tell heaven where to stuff their orders," said Dean with vehemence.

While the magical society had at least taken the hint once they changed their names, for some bizarre and very irritating reason the supernatural side of things hadn't gotten the same memo. It was a source of constant irritation for the brothers, since they had to keep correcting people about their last name.

Winchester was a name they would happily never take up again.

Fortunately it seemed this Castiel was willing to at least listen to them.

"Very well, Dean _Harvelle_. Heaven has sent me to retrieve you from the pit, but it seems someone beat me to Alistair's racks."

Dean openly snorted.

"Yeah, small problem with that plan. See I already filled my end of the contract two months into it, and someone gave me directions to a portal that lead out. The body Lilith killed was a fake so they didn't try to kill Sam again," he said amused.

Castiel blinked. This was clearly news to him, though it certainly explained why the demons hadn't tried very hard to keep the angels out. They must have figured something was up when they learned who they were sent down to retrieve.

"Heaven has a job for you, Dean."

He flared his wings out to prove he was in fact an angel, since he was curious why Dean hadn't challenged his claim. Dean did not look impressed. At all. He felt annoyed and somewhat disappointed.

"Well that was a colossal waste of time," said Dean, getting into the car.

"Did you see him flare his wings? That was rather pointless. I mean we knew he was an angel, so why did he bother with that display?" said Sam.

"How much you wanna bet he's going to be listening in to our talks from now on?"

"Only an idiot bets against you Dean," deadpanned Sam.

There were times when he bet against Dean. He learned early on that such an idea was idiotic at best, and pointless at worst. Dean had the devil's own luck, a byproduct of the fact his luck had been so horrendous as Harry.

And since merging with his past life, that luck had shot up from 'ridiculously lucky' to what Dean would likely call 'god-mode'. Which meant anytime he gambled he was more likely to break even than not, and when playing the higher stakes game he would win and win big.

More than one time he had gone to Vegas and come back with a couple million in cold hard cash. The only reason he hadn't exercised his luck to it's full extent was because he didn't want it to spectacularly backfire him at the worst possible time.

He was annoying, but he wasn't a fool. Good luck like that always ran out and he would prefer it not to be within the near future. He was happy with a few million rather than the big bucks.

Still, they did have one thing that they learned from Castiel.

Heaven was definitely up to something if they had gone into hell without checking to see if Dean was there first. If they really were interested in the brothers, then Castiel should have known their name was _Harvelle_ and that Dean had been 'indisposed' for over three months yet had been seen frequently with Loki while his brother wasn't around. But the biggest factor was the fact Castiel didn't even look twice at the two pugs.

Even Gabriel had picked up on the fact that Hati and Skoll were hell hounds right off...though to be fair he had seen them before they took that smaller form. So the fact Castiel hadn't been wary around them said that Heaven wasn't entirely being truthful.

Dean had a feeling they wanted him to try and stop Lucifer from getting out...which was a pointless task once someone started breaking seals. And failing that they would likely try to force him to say yes to Micheal.

From what he had heard of the arch angel, he was more likely to tell Micheal to shove his sword where the sun didn't shine. The guy sounded like Percy, only worse.

* * *

"Well?" asked Gabriel once they got back to the house.

"Castiel is a pawn. And I'm starting to think that maybe Heaven isn't what it's cracked up to be," said Dean.

"Say what now?"

"He got the name wrong. And he flared his wings as if to prove he really was an angel when we already knew what he was. I think Castiel is just a front for whichever angel is behind the attack on hell, and that their information is extremely outdated. It was like dealing with Crowley all over again," said Sam.

"Crowley as in the demon Crowley, who currently rules over the crossroads?" said Gabriel, raising an eyebrow.

"Crow's cool. Which reminds me, I need to warn him that the angels will be a major pain in the ass now," said Dean, hitting the speed dial assigned to Crowley.

"_WHAT?"_

"Did I wake you up or something?"

"_As a matter of fact there's been a recent audit of all crossroad deals for the past hundred years as a result of you slipping through hell before they knew it. Which means I've been forced to go through each one just to confirm that they're still suffering eternal damnation or chose demonhood,"_ deadpanned Crowley.

"Well I have even more good news that's _sure_ to make your day!"

"_Fuck you."_

"The angels are active on Earth now. Don't know why they think I was on the rack for four months though," said Dean.

Dean cheerfully put it on speaker so Gabriel and Sam could hear Crowley's cursing from the other end. Gabriel was holding his sides from laughing so hard.

"_Are you just telling me this to piss me off, or as an honest warning?"_ asked Crowley irate once he got over his anger.

"More of the latter, but a little of the former," said Dean.

"_Thanks for the heads up. Explains this damn audit...coincidentally I will be throwing fireballs at your damn creature form the next time we meet,"_ said Crowley.

"Fair enough."

Crowley hung up on him. He hadn't been joking about the audit, and he still had fifty years to go.

"I can't believe you're friends with a crossroads demon," said Gabriel, once he got over his giggle fit.

"They trust each other because they know they _can't_ trust each other. So long as they agree to be friendly enemies it all works out. How did you think I got my hell hounds?" said Sam.

"Bear," said Gabriel flatly.

"Being frienemies is complicated but never dull," said Dean grinning.

* * *

Dean was woken up in the middle of the night by an unlikely source.

_Mort it's... fuck, it's four in the morning. What's wrong?_

**Lilith has broken the second seal, the Witnesses have risen, which means that ghosts who should rightfully be in their afterlife have been pulled back. And since you merged with Harry...**

_I have to deal with his as well as mine. Shit._

**On the plus side, now is the perfect time to exercise some of your power as Death's Hand.**

_Death's Hand?_

**It's the current title for anyone who does my work for me when I can't because of the rules.**

_Well, could you come up with a better name for it? So what sort of ability do I get?_

**First one is relatively simple. Soul Sight. Channel some of your magic into your eyes and you can see the state of someone's soul. Good, evil, you'll know what sort of person or thing they are just by looking at them. The second, which is the one you'll be using until someone reverses the spell after twelve hours have passed, is the ability to remove spells from souls that keep them here. It won't work on the souls you usually encounter, but in events like these it helps greatly.**

_Can you implant the knowledge of how to do this? I'm too tired to actually learn any other way._

**This will hurt. A lot.**

_I can handle pain._

Mort placed a hand on Dean's forehead. He grimaced but didn't cry out. Harry had gone through too much pain to give anyone the satisfaction of hearing him scream. Something he passed on to Dean when they merged. He barely managed to keep his knees from buckling.

**I did say it would hurt.**

Dean nodded, unable to speak.

**Get some sleep Dean. When you wake up you'll remember this...just warn Bobby to keep salt and iron on hand.**

Dean sat down on his bed and immediately curled up against Bear. He was asleep in seconds, and the pain abated as he snored away.

He was going to be in for a rough couple of days.

* * *

"So Mort showed up and gave you another upgrade?" said Bobby.

"More like gave me an info-dump on how to use the upgrade I got from leaving hell," said Dean.

"Better than nothin'. He say anything else?"

"He said that Lilith broke the second seal. Rising of the Witnesses, he called it. I think the only reason he told me is because this Rising involves souls that should have stayed where they were," said Dean.

"At least he's helping. Which is more than can be said of him normally," said Bobby.

"Mort's tied by the rules. He can't interfere unless it involves the dead or necromancy. At least he's willing to warn us about homicidal ghosts," said Dean defensively.

"Son, I would rather have a sporadic source than none at all. I ain't complaining about your reaper friend. Now, I have a couple of hunter friends who haven't been replying about this whole heaven and hell business. Did Mort say anything else about these ghosts?"

"Only that you should keep salt and iron handy. Sam and I can go check on your friends, but only if you look up the counter spell and wait for us to get back before you leave the panic room."

"Do I look like a damn idjit? I'll find the counterspell while you check on the others and get the word out."

"Hang on... I'll call Mom and get the network on full blast warning about this," said Sam.

An hour later any hunter who knew of a ghost-proof house had gone to ground. No one wanted to deal with past failures coming back to kill them. The few who weren't on the Hunter Tree (what Dean flippantly called the network of hunters that lived in the US, most if not all of which had been to the Roadhouse at least once in their career) were warned by those who were.

It had been Dean's idea to start a phone tree. And now it was time to put the thing to the test.

Ellen hung up her cordless phone, and immediately grabbed her cell. Since she was the only one with access to the tree, she was the only one who could activate the damn thing.

She dialed a specific sequence, one enchanted to call every number on the list.

All across the States, countless people answered their cell whether they were on a hunt or not.

"_This is Ellen Harvelle. We have a report that someone has broken a special seal, one designed to bring back the ghosts of all those you've failed to save as a hunter. Repeat, homicidal ghosts of people who were killed during a hunt or were victims during one are coming back, and they WILL kill you. If you know of a ghost-proof area or a safe zone, get to it immediately. Until the all clear is sent, assume that the spell causing this mess is still active."_

The minute she ended the calls, nearly every single hunter started loading up on salt and iron. Dean had, at some point out of boredom, marked states where hunters had set up known safe houses against things like demons or ghosts. Anyone who had been to the Roadhouse tended to memorize that map in case of emergencies, or had it marked on their GPS.

It was time to put it to use.


	23. Chapter 23

Dean was not happy. Not only did they have to deal with people they couldn't save, but Sam got a glimpse of all those Harry had failed during the war.

Apparently death by natural magic counted just as much as being killed during a hunt.

The first one to attack was the first person Harry had lost that he was close to. His mother, Lily.

Because Sam was with him, he shot the spirit without hesitation.

By the time they got back to Bobby's, two others had cropped up. Dean had never been more thankful that he wasn't Harry personally, just his reincarnation. Otherwise he was sure that the man would have been dead four times over from his past.

Though it did prompt a very...interesting...question to Mort when he noticed one of the spirits hadn't shown up.

* * *

_What happened to Sirius Black?_

**Sirius Black, the idiot who fell through to Hel's realm? She currently has him serving as her 'boy-toy', I believe it's called. Frankly I'm amazed she even let him visit his godson when Harry was still alive.**

_Is he trapped there?_

**Unlike that fool Persephone, Sirius is only kept in Purgatory because he does not know the way out. But I don't believe Hel would be pleased to lose her boyfriend.**

_...Is there any reason she can't leave with him?_

**Odin put a spell on the girl to alert him if she ever left. If she did, then he will kill her brothers.**

_And is there any way to kill a pagan? From what I remember Hel is Loki's daughter, isn't she? So that makes her family twice over._

Mort was well aware of Dean's view on family. It was more precious than the gold he finally retrieved from the Potter accounts. If he had to choose between Sam or the gold, he would pick his brother without a second's thought.

**There is a way. But if you kill Odin using your powers as Death's hand, then you'll be brought deeper into my realm.**

_And if I just blasted him as Godzilla? Pagans can't survive dragonfire and acid at the same time can they?_

Mort blinked. He had entirely forgotten about Dean's animal form.

**You'll be brought to the attention of the angels.**

_And this is news how? If I do it looking like Harry, they won't think Dean Harvelle is involved. Last I checked, Gabriel said that the angels believe Harry is still alive, but in hiding._

Screwing over the angels and killing a nuisance pagan. Mort could live with that.

**Ask Gabriel to give you a general location of Odin. If I interfere they could call me on it, and I don't want this biting me in the ass later. I'll be pushing the rules as it is allowing Sirius to regain his living form without any side effects.**

Dean nodded. He was sure Gabriel would love this, considering he had been utterly useless earlier.

* * *

"Wait, you want the general location of _Odin_. Why?" asked Gabriel.

"I want to turn him into one crispy fried pagan," said Dean simply.

"Again, why? Not that I'm complaining about killing him off mind you," added Gabriel.

After he hurt his kids by forcing them into their animal forms and then cursing them to remain like that until they died or the spell broke, Gabriel wasn't exactly a _fan_ of Odin. The only reason he hadn't smote the bastard was because it would have alerted his brothers to the fact there were a few angel-halfbreeds running around.

"Long story short, Harry's godfather is currently dating your daughter. The only way to bring them both out is to kill Odin," said Dean dryly.

Gabriel choked.

"Sirius Black, known Casanova and godfather of Harry is dating _Hel_?" said Gabriel.

"Which makes her family twice over. I was curious what happened to him when he didn't show up last week, so I asked Mort. He told me about the spell and how Odin would kill the others, so he said to ask you for where to find Odin. And last I checked, Purgatory has those creepy as fuck Leviathans running around," said Dean flatly.

Gabriel nodded. It was why he had placed a spell to keep them away from his daughter when he learned where Odin had tossed her. Apparently it had kept Sirius alive as well.

"I'm in. Just to warn you though, I am not leaving the kids alone. They've been traumatized ever since Odin cursed them."

"Bring them here. I'm sure they wouldn't mind meeting Grandma Ellen and Grandpa Bobby," said Dean with a smirk.

Bobby overheard that last comment.

"Dammit boy, don't tell me you got some girl knocked up!"

Gabriel laughed long and hard.

"Nah, he was just discussing where to keep my kids since I'm dating Sammy," said Gabriel.

Bobby gave him a look.

"I better not have to deal with Child Services all over again for this."

"If they come around, just pray to Gabriel and I'll show up immediately. Kinda hard to take the kids away when you're only babysitting for their dad," said Gabriel with a wink.

Bobby grumbled, but said nothing. To be honest he missed having kids around, though he was proud of the way Dean and Sam had grown up to be good men.

* * *

It took Gabriel a few days to find where Odin was currently hiding. He was well aware 'Loki' was still pissed about what he had done to his children, and with the angels flying around lately it was more than likely Loki would try to send them after him.

He wasn't expecting Harry bloody Potter to show up, smile coldly at him, then turn into his dragon form and blast him.

The first blast was acid, and it burned like the fires of hell itself. Odin was still screaming when the dragon let loose it's strongest flame on him. There wasn't even ashes when it stopped. Only an outline of what used to be a pagan god.

'Harry' left a message for the other pagans. Anyone that went after his family was going to pay the price. It didn't take long for word to spread that the Master of Death had adopted Loki as one of his family, or that the attack was retribution for what Odin had done to Loki's children.

Loki had tried to get some of the other pantheons to overrule what Odin had done to them centuries ago, but none had been willing to help.

* * *

Sirius blinked. This was the first time he had seen sunlight in over a decade, if not more. He wondered how his godson was doing. He smiled as he helped his girl out of the entrance of Purgatory.

Death had been quite generous when he offered to keep the Leviathans in while Hel and Sirius left the desolate area. Hel had felt Odin's death, had known the moment his spell broke. She was just surprised that Death himself had allowed Sirius to come back to the living with her.

She would have thought her boyfriend would have been stuck in that nightmare realm until she could clear it with him.

What greeted them was a black car with a massive dog...and her father.

"Father?"

Sirius blinked and almost winced.

Gabriel rushed up to Hel and hugged her tightly.

"You're welcome you damn sugar-nut," called out the shorter of the two other men. He had the same green eyes as Harry, with more warmth.

"Father, what... how..."

"Dean-o here killed Odin for me. Of course everyone thinks it was Harry, but he's not around anymore."

"Where's Harry? What happened?" demanded Sirius.

"Pie first, then we'll catch you up on the latest. Turn into Padfoot so we can all fit," said the green-eyed man.

Sirius couldn't believe it.

"Harry's dead?"

"Technically yes, but also no. The body that was known as 'Harry Potter'was destroyed by Death. In exchange he was reincarnated early into another body. Our souls merged close to a year ago fully when I left hell, and at the same time I regained the mantle as Death's Master. We just call him Mort though," said Dean.

"Why?"

"He was in a loveless marriage, a job he never wanted, and the kid's weren't even his and he knew it. He was little more than a shell of a man that had been turned into the Ministry's attack dog and poster boy, and he wanted to actually live. So he asked Death to give him another chance."

"Was it worth it?" asked Hel. She sipped her hot cocoa.

"He traded fame, glory and gold...and he did it all so he could feel what love was supposed to be like, not the heartless imitation he lived with. He died, and in exchange he got a real family, right Sammy?"

Sam nodded.

"I've seen Harry's memories when they overwhelmed Dean first hand. There wasn't anything close to kindness or actual warmth. All he ever got was more pain. And to be honest, I don't actually care that my brother used to be someone else," said Sam.

"Hell, he's okay in my book! I never thought it would be a hunter who killed Odin for me, or that he would let me keep the others at his father's house!" said Gabriel.

Hel looked at her father wide-eyed.

"The others? You mean..."

"Fen, Jor...all of the younger ones. Bobby's agreed to act as babysitter when he heard what was going on. Dean ran to him and Ellen once his magic started acting up, and they raised him and Sammy as their own. Both of them like kids."

"And what about us?" asked Sirius.

"You're free to do whatever, but I'd avoid England. They're still pissed that 'Harry' emptied most of their gold and told them to go fuck themselves. I see another English wizard, I'm frying their ass," said Dean flatly.

"Why not send them to Ellen's? That way they can watch the kids and Ellen can keep Jo safe."

"Where does this Ellen live?" asked Hel.

"In a hunter's bar called the Roadhouse. It's a known neutral area, and she already knows about magic," said Sam.

"I'm in. Working at a hunter's bar sounds more interesting than going back home. Plus we'd get to spend more time with you two," said Sirius flatly.

Finding out he was the last 'living' Marauder had come as a hard blow, especially when Dean had retrieved Teddy Lupin and dropped him off with Ellen.

* * *

Dean woke up without warning on a bench, wondering what the hell was going on now. He could tell with ease he wasn't in his own time. A simple look at the newspaper stand across the street told him that much.

He ignored the cop, claiming a friend had thought it _hilarious_ to drop him off on the middle of the bench, and his tone said it wasn't the first time.

The first thing he did was get some coffee...he had barely gone to sleep before he was dragged into the past.

So when he heard the name Winchester, it was all he could do not to snarl. It was a big surprise to see his father before he turned into a paranoid bastard.

Though he could be forgiven for stalking the man a bit.

Dean snorted, watching John debate against a minivan and the Impala. So he took a look at the engine and frowned.

"You're kidding right? This thing is about seven months from needing a new radiator, the battery's almost dead, and the carburetor's almost shot!" said Dean.

John and the poor car salesmen stared.

"I repair cars for a living. This thing isn't worth it. This one, however, looks to be in good condition and from the look of it just needs a better battery in about a few months," said Dean with a shrug. He knew cars like the back of his hand.

The crappy minivan was a disaster waiting to happen, but the Impala was in better shape. And it had nothing to do with his personal bias for the car, really.

John looked at the van's engine and spotted most of what Dean had in five seconds. Then he looked at the Impala.

"You know your cars," admitted John, impressed.

"Like I said, I fix them for a living."

"John Winchester."

"Dean Harvelle," he said, though he wasn't too sure about shaking John's hand, knowing what he would turn into later.

"Damn. Sammy, if only you could see... wait, I have a camera!" said Dean. He snapped a few pictures of their birth parents, mostly of Mary though.

Dean put his camera back in his bag right before Mary nearly caved his throat in.

"Dammit you idjit, I'm a hunter!" said Dean trying to breath. Never had he been more thankful for partial transformations. His dragon scales kept him from being choked!


	24. Chapter 24

Dean glared at Castiel, who shifted uncomfortably. The angel didn't know why, but he had trouble meeting Dean's annoyed glare.

"Explain to me why you felt it necessary to have me watch my grandparents die?" he asked calmly, though his anger was clear in his voice.

"You needed to see the beginning. And you need to stop Sam," said Castiel, trying and succeeding slightly at meeting Dean's incensed gaze.

"Stop Sam from what?"

"Sam is drinking demons blood courtesy of Ruby. You need to stop him or we will," said Castiel.

"Okay, let me get this straight. You want me to _stop_ Sam from seeing a demon called Ruby. Is that correct?" said Dean, pinching the bridge of his nose.

His opinion of Heaven's information network was dropping fast and at this rate it wouldn't stop. Even the supernaturals knew that Sam was dating _Loki_, not some demon. Even after Ruby's attempts to integrate into their group, the only demon Dean even trusted was Crowley, and that was because he knew he _couldn't_ trust him.

In the back of his head Dean could hear Lucifer cracking up.

_Lucifer, your brothers are idiots. The only sane one is Gabriel, and I'm stretching my definition of _sane_ just to include him!_

_**And this is news to me how ? **_Lucifer replied laughing. Now that he had someone reasonably intelligent to talk to, he was rather easy to get along with.

"Yes. Our orders are to kill Sam if he continues to drink demon's blood," said Castiel.

"Well that shouldn't be a problem considering he's not currently _with_ Ruby. How long has it been since you people thought to update your information?" asked Dean irritably.

Castiel blinked.

"Update our information," repeated Castiel blankly.

"Sam isn't with me because he's currently on a date with his _boyfriend_ Loki. He's never even gone near this Ruby chick because Loki hates demons more than we do!" said Dean pinching his nose.

Castiel blinked in shock and confusion.

"Sam is with Loki? The pagan Trickster?" asked Castiel in disbelief.

"Okay, clearly you featherbrains need to update your damn info. Come back when you have the right information," said Dean sighing. Now that he was back in his own time, he really needed to talk to Gabriel about how often Heaven updated their knowledge.

The way they automatically assumed he had been in hell or that Sam was with a _demon_ of all things was not only wrong, it was ridiculous.

* * *

"So let me get this straight. My brothers sent you into the past to watch you grandparents die...and then they tell you stop Sam from drinking Ruby's blood or they will," said Gabriel with an incredulous tone.

"That reminds me. Sammy, check these out," said Dean.

"Holy crap...is that our mom?"

"Mom, Dad, and both grandparents. Had to show them the camera function before they let me take their picture and believed me about being from another time. Apparently ol' Yellow Eyes killed John and then had mom make a deal so he could enter your room," said Dean.

"So which angel did they send?" asked Gabriel curious.

"Some blue eyed one named Castiel. So how was your date?" asked Dean smirking.

"It was fine. So the angel brought you back?" asked Gabriel.

"Lucifer was cracking up when I told him the angels were idiots," said Dean.

Gabriel still couldn't believe Dean had somehow managed to get on Lucifer's good side. Still, it was worth agreeing to keep the brothers safe in exchange for being able to talk to one of his older brothers.

He never would have thought it would be a magical human who would help him in his desire to keep this fight from restarting. Or that said human would be Death's voice among the living.

Because that was what it meant to be the 'Master' of Death. To meet Death as an equal and act as their voice. Any idiot who gathered the Hallows just for power or some other stupid reason would be slowly driven insane until they begged to be released...and then Death would turn them into a permanent Reaper just to make a point.

Dean wasn't the first Master. He was just the only one who survived it more than a few years. Harry had just insured that it would stick when he asked for a second chance.

"I told Castiel to come back when they bothered to update their information. Should have seen his expression when I told him the reason I was alone in the room was because Sam was on a date with his boyfriend. Looked like someone slapped him silly with a fish," snorted Dean.

Gabriel laughed as he said "Share!"

Dean grinned and let Gabriel put his hand on Dean's head. Gabriel crackled up at the look on Castiel's face.

"We really need to find a way to open up a chat without having to switch wavelengths," said Sam.

"Yeah...about that..." said Dean not looking at his brother.

"Dean."

"There's actually this thing called a 'Round Robin' telepathy link. Kinda like a messaging board only with telepathy. Mort showed me how but I never bothered to use it."

"Dean! Come on!" said Sam.

"Fine...want me to open one or do you want him to show you how?" asked Dean.

Sam looked at Gabriel expectantly.

"Nuh-uh, I never messed with those things," said Gabriel shaking his head.

It was less that he didn't want to and more like he couldn't. Opening up a round robin telepathic link also allowed them to see his true nature, which was something he was more than a little hesitant to do. Hell, he never messed with telepathy except with close friends who he eventually told the truth to!

The only people he kept in contact like that with were his daughter and the twins.

Dean sent a mental nudge to Gabriel, Sam and Lucifer. Automatically all three sent one back, opening up the link.

_**So this is a round robin. Neat,**_ said Gabriel.

_**Hello little brother.**_

_So which one is he Dean?_

_That's Lucifer. Lucifer, meet the unlucky bastard picked to be your vessel who I will beat bloody if you ever do try to take him,_ said Dean simply. Lucifer took the hint that this was Sam.

Lucifer snorted.

_**If I took him as a vessel, then I would have to deal with these idiot demons. Do you really think I would give up the most intelligent conversation I've had in eons?**_

_**What about me?**_ Gabriel said petulantly.

_**I stand by my statement brother. The most intelligent conversation in eons.**_

Gabriel pouted and Sam laughed.

_**So what sparked this?**_

_Sammy wanted to know how to start the telepathic equivalent of a messaging board. Gabriel apparently never bothered to learn how and I was just waiting for people to invite._

_**You do know that you can leave these things open so that anyone invited can stay on and others can jump in right?**_ Lucifer told him.

Gabriel immediately pounced on his brother.

_**No trying to steal my mate, or I'll stab you on principle brother. Sam is **_**mine****_._**

In hell, Lucifer rolled his eyes.

_**I'm not going to. But I assume you won't have any problem with me using them to watch these movies Dean's so damn fascinated with, do you?**_

Gabriel's protectiveness faded. He sent an amused ping to Dean.

_**Does this mean we can corrupt Lucy with Disney?**_

_Dude, do I look like I care if you _corrupt_ Lucifer with _Lilo and Stitch_? Just avoid the Evil Overlord of Darkness and any of his subjects and I could care less._

_**Evil Overlord of Darkness? **_Lucifer said dryly.

_He's talking about _**Barney and Friends**_, _Sam said equally dry.

_**Lucifer may be a jerk, but even I'm not evil enough to introduce him to that crap,**_ said Gabriel laughing.

_**I love you too Gabriel,**_ said Lucifer rolling his eyes.

Now that the connection was open, Lucifer kept it open. The others could come and go when they wanted to be left alone, but at least this way he wouldn't be entirely bored.

* * *

If Gabriel was openly amused by the Shifter who had an unhealthy fascination with the black and white movies, it was nothing to his reaction to finding Sam in the traditional German peasant garb. Dean laughed so hard he had trouble breathing, and took plenty of damning pictures for later.

Gabriel however was on the floor howling with laughter when he found his boyfriend dressed like that. It just didn't suit Sam at all.

Sam hexed them both with a glare. And then he went to kill the Shifter slowly and painfully for it.

Dean, strangely, didn't try to immediately pick up the grateful woman like he normally would. Which surprised Gabriel somewhat.

"So Sammy...what's up with your brother? I mean normally he'd jump on doing her after such a 'heroic' rescue," said Gabriel.

Sam grinned.

"Okay, keep quiet but I think Dean's interested in someone else," said Sam snickering.

"Who?"

"It's a guy."

Gabriel choked.

"Not Lucifer!" he said shocked.

"No. At least I don't think so. I'm pretty sure Dean considers Lucifer as the cousin people prefer not to talk about in reunions. I think Dean has a thing for Castiel."

"Castiel? That nerdy little soldier? How can you tell?" asked Gabriel.

Sam smirked.

"I was with him when he 'summoned' Castiel. You should have seen them...there was this instant brooding connection," said Sam.

Gabriel giggled evilly.

"So Dean-o has a thing for my nerdy little brother. That should be fun to watch."

"Not too sure though. They've only met a few times."

"Well to be fair, Castiel has been destined to bring Dean out of hell for a while now. Even since he was born actually...anyone who knows about the seals knows the angel that would bring Dean out was him. It's kind of a pre-destined event," said Gabriel.

Certain events were fixed, like Dean meeting Castiel. However the way they met could be altered slightly.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Frankly it's about time Dean settled down."

Dean was tired. He needed someone constant in his life to release some of his pent up stress, and Sam was definitely not it.

While he did have his family for support, he needed someone to snuggle with at night other than his dog. And there was no chance in hell Dean would ever consider Sam like _that_. At least not unless he was in Stitch form.

* * *

Gabriel was doing his usual Trickster duties... pranking some asshole or another...when he got Sam's panicked cry for his help. And he was calling _Gabriel_, not Loki and not caring who heard.

He finished up early and appeared next to his boy-toy wondering what happened.

It didn't take a genius to figure out something was very, very wrong with Dean.

He was in Stitch form, growling and snarling and generally making a total mess of the place. He had never seen Dean this agitated before.

"What the hell were you hunting?" he asked Sam incredulous.

"People were dropping dead and Mort said it wasn't his reapers, so Dean and I went to the morgue. Bobby said he has Ghost Sickness."

Gabriel looked at Dean. Dean was definitely acting weird and Ghost Sickness was a likely suspect.

"So he went into Stitch form out of fear?"

"Stitch is invulnerable to everything save drowning. It was either that or Godzilla, Dean was terrified of the attention dragon from brought so he went Stitch. Bear's kept him calm but we need to end this because his time limit is almost up."

"Yeah...lead on. Dean freaking out is a bad thing for everyone," said Gabriel, eying the freaked out blue ball. Bear was doing his best to calm him, but it was quickly losing battle. As much as Gabriel enjoyed pranking Dean, he did have limits.

Seeing Dean die because of bizarre paranoia that made no sense was one of them.

When they came back Dean was firmly curled into Bear and shivering...at least until Sam picked up the ball and it uncurled.

The only one who could ever do that was Sam. No even Ellen or Bobby could calm him down enough to uncurl from that tight a ball.

Gabriel snapped up a few seats as Sam gently calmed his brother down.

_**You know times like this make me wish that Micheal had been a bit more reasonable,**_ said Gabriel to Lucifer.

Lucifer watched the seen and agreed.

Just because he didn't like the addition of humans didn't mean he wouldn't respect his father's wishes. But Micheal blew a small incident when Lucifer lost his temper with a few of them completely out of proportion and it developed into a full blown war. He might dislike most of humanity, but that never meant he couldn't learn to tolerate their presence. They were young. They honestly didn't know any better and they lived on a different plain that them.

But Micheal had always been a stick-in-the-mud, to put it in Gabriel's terms. And he took things way to far until the only thing to do was fight it out.

After all this time Lucifer still couldn't remember who started the first real fight about the subject. Some claimed it was him, but he didn't want to start a war over something so trivial, especially against his brothers.

_**At this point I'll settle for being allowed out of this damn cage and popping in occasionally to annoy Dean and Sam. If more humans were like Dean then maybe I might be able to live with humanities existence a bit more.**_

Gabriel hummed in agreement. The brothers were unaware that someone had been listening to their little 'round robin' chat. That was the problem with open chat windows...if you had the right aural frequency you could 'hack' into one without anyone the wiser. And someone had been listening to Lucifer's talks with Dean.

Someone who had given Gabriel his initial mischievous spark.


	25. Chapter 25

Lucifer was bored. Everyone else was out of the 'telepathic chat window' as Dean flippantly called it, and that meant he had no one to talk to. At least that was what he thought.

**Hello Lucifer.**

The arch angel sat up in shock. He knew that voice, how could he not?

_**Father?**_

**I've been watching Dean and Sam. I must admit, I wasn't expecting Death to pull something like this off just to get back at Micheal. But it's definitely working out better than I thought.**

_**You've been watching them?**_

God suddenly sounded a little sheepish as he said **I've had to relive this current mess so many times that when Dean told Castiel about Sam dating Loki I decided to actually pay attention to them again. When I realized something was very off I asked Death what happened and he told me everything.**

Lucifer snorted.

_**Mort said that his current 'Master' asked him for a second chance to live, so he picked Dean's body to do it.**_

**Mort?**

_**Dean called Death Mort, and the name stuck for some reason, **_shrugged Lucifer.

**It will be interesting to see if he can actually change things.**

_**So what prompted this anyway?**_

**I was curious if you were willing to try an experiment. If Death thinks I'm not going to join in on his idea of a prank then he's got another thing coming.**

Lucifer sat up. Finally some action!

_**I'm all ears!**_

**How long do you think it would take Micheal and the others to realize you're out before Lilith is killed, if she ever is?**

_**Yeah, I don't see Dean falling for it. Not if Mort tells him about the seal. He's more likely to transfigure her into something humiliating and then hand it to an angel just to piss them off,**_ said Lucifer flatly.

God snorted in amusement. From what he saw of the brothers, that was really, really likely. And very funny to boot.

_**So what's the plan?**_

**You get a vessel like Gabriel's that doesn't require you take over Sam Harvelle and in exchange you take pictures of their expression when they find out I let you go from the cage before the seals were fully broken. I expect several of your brothers when they finally catch on, **said God without any hesitation.

Death got to prank his children, why couldn't he? This Lucifer was much more reasonable and Death's mortal avatar could easily handle keeping Lucifer in line.

Besides, he didn't want Lucifer to fight Micheal any more than Gabriel did.

_**So...do I get any input on what it looks like? And do you want pictures of Dean's slow realization that he might like Castiel ?**_

**Yes to both!**

* * *

Gabriel stared at Sam and Dean wide-eyed in horror.

"Someone actually did that stupid razors in the candy myth? Who would be so evil as to ruin candy like that?" he asked.

If the situation wasn't so serious, Dean would have laughed at the look on Gabriel's face. Instead he had a better idea.

"When we find the bastards, wanna go full on Trickster on their ass?"

"Damn straight! No one messes with candy some poor kid could have eaten and gets away with it!" said Gabriel with righteous anger in his eyes.

"You wanna share with Bear or do you just wanna meet us there?"

"No way am I sharing with Bear. He takes up the back seat all by himself! But..." said Gabriel looking at Sam with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"You are not sitting in my lap Lo'," said Sam.

"How about around your neck?" said Gabriel, before he shifted into a tiny golden fox. Sam picked him up...and Gabriel curled around his neck like a scarf. Dean snorted and took a picture with his phone.

It took them a few hours to get to the town, and almost immediately Gabriel tensed.

_What's wrong Lo'?_ Sam asked.

_**Two angels are in town. One of 'em feels like Castiel.**_

_Why would Castiel be here?_ Dean asked.

_**Considering the other feels like Uriel, I'm guessing this isn't just a normal witch hunt. I have a feeling this is about Samhain, the demon behind Halloween.**_

_Great. A demon and angels. What could go wrong?_

_**...Hey Dean, wanna do the whole 'Exorcist Stitch' prank on Uriel?**_ Gabriel grinned at him.

Dean paused, then a slow evil smirk on his face appeared. That did sound fun.

* * *

"Dude, two words: Jail. Bait," said Sam.

_**Try old hag,**_ Gabriel piped up. He was hiding in Sam's pocket as a kitten.

_This the witch?_

_**One of them. She planted the hex bag. Plant a tracker on 'er Dean-o! But make it discreet, otherwise she'll know a natural magical is onto her.**_

Dean did one better. He placed a scent tag on her that would attach to the first thing she came across that had demon magic on it in case she had a partner. It would make tracking her very easy.

Then they could set Gabriel on them both. He took the fact they hexed candy very seriously.

Dean picked up a couple of bags of decent chocolate before they drove back to the motel.

Gabriel perked up.

"Do I smell chocolate?" he asked.

Dean tossed him a bag and kept the other for himself. Gabriel cackled as he dove in with glee. There was a knock on the door before Dean could sit down.

"Yes?" said Dean, holding it partially open.

Outside was a dirty blond haired man, and when he lifted his rather old-fashioned hat Dean saw a pair of quicksilver eyes.

"Hello. May I bother you for some donations to the Church's Halloween fund? Each dollar you donate goes to buying wholesome treats for the children," asked the man pleasantly.

Normally Dean would fork over a few bucks for the cause. After all, how many demons could pull off a priest, complete with the tacky scarf?

Dean's eyes instead narrowed in shock.

"Lucifer?" he said quietly, in case the angels were listening.

Lucifer grinned. He put his finger to his mouth and looked pointedly at Gabriel. Dean grinned, he got the message.

"Sure Padre, how much you need?" said Dean, keeping up the ruse.

Gabriel got up to see the priest...and his jaw dropped. Sam only looked up when he heard Gabriel's bag of candy fall to the floor. Gabriel thought wasting good candy (and Dean had gotten the really good stuff) was a sin in itself.

"Dean? Who's at the door?"

Dean got out of the way so Gabriel could tackle his brother in a hug.

"How'd you get out bro?" asked Gabriel.

"It seems dear old dad was listening in after Dean told Castiel you were dating Sam, and he wasn't anywhere near Ruby. Once he knew about that he checked his facts and found out what Mort did. He wasn't about to let Death one-up him, so he offered to let me out early if I behaved," said Lucifer amused.

"Dad knows about me?"

"He doesn't care about the fact you became Loki. So long as you don't join in the Apocalypse you can walk around naked for all he's concerned."

Gabriel grinned.

"So you're with us in keeping the fight from restarting?"

"So long as I'm left alone outside of visiting you and the others, I'm free. Of course that also means we don't need the chat open anymore just to talk."

"We get to corrupt you in person!" said Gabriel cheering.

"So if you're here, do you have any idea what the deal is with the razors in the candy and some girl dying while bobbing apples?" asked Sam.

Lucifer rolled his eyes.

"A pair of witches are attempting to raise Samhain. A brother and sister to be exact. It also happens to be a major seal to the cage," said Lucifer.

Sam paled once he got to the page referencing Samhain.

"Well at least that explains the reason for pumpkin carving," he muttered.

"Why a priest's outfit though?" asked Gabriel, retrieving his candy and offering a few pieces to Lucifer.

Lucifer took them and said "You've got a pair of angels watching the area. One of which is Uriel. I'm sure Micheal sent him to smite the town if you don't find the witches before the third sacrifice."

"Smite an entire town?" said Dean. Lucifer nodded.

"Uriel was one of the angels who were rather...enthusiastic...about the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah," said Lucifer. Gabriel shuddered. He still remembered the screams.

Sam hugged him.

"So why exactly do the angels think Sam would be with this Ruby demon?"

"Ruby's assignment by Lilith is to corrupt Sam by getting him to drink demon's blood. There was a whole plan of getting him to go after demons to bring you out of hell, have him injured badly enough to need supernatural healing, and then get him hooked to demon's blood at the same time. That went to shit after you filled the contract and left hell early, but not before making sure Sam would be with his new beau Loki first. Should have heard Lilith rant when she found out Sam went on vacation with a hunter she didn't know about and a Pagan bodyguard. Ruby couldn't even come close to him."

"Damn straight! Like I would let some demon slut near what's mine!" said Gabriel.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"Coincidentally, did you know if you were to wrap an angel in human magic they can bypass a banishing spell?" said Lucifer to Gabriel.

"Seriously?"

"Dad thought it would be funny to give the Harvelles something to get rid of Uriel, so he adjusted the spell without letting Micheal know. And since our brothers don't know these two idiots are magical and have a decent grasp on how to use it without a wand..." said Lucifer.

"Oh that is going to be fun..." said Gabriel evilly.

"But you can't be the one to use the sigil. Otherwise you'll be thrown out with everyone else," said Lucifer.

"So you staying with us?"

"Actually I just came to say hi. I'm going to have a movie marathon at Gabriel's pocket dimension for now. Watching them second-hand isn't nearly as fun as watching them yourself. Besides I intend to raid his booze," deadpanned Lucifer.

"Be sure to feed the the pugs and Max!" said Gabriel. If Lucifer wanted to crash at his pad, he had no problem with that. It kept him from trying to kill off humanity and their brother's radar.

"Need...sleep..." said Dean yawning. He looked at his brother and his brother's angel boyfriend.

"If you're going to have any hanky-panky, for the love of Death put up a privacy screen and plenty of silencers," he deadpanned.

"Deal," said Gabriel grinning while giving Sam a leering grin.

"No costumes," said Sam immediately sighing.

"But Sammy~" said Gabriel with a whine.

Sam looked at Gabriel in the eyes. Five minutes later he gave up.

"Fine, but nothing feminine or so help me I'll lace your candy bags with laxatives," said Sam.

Gabriel cheered quietly, as Dean had laid down to take a nap.

He debated on which charms to use before he had an evil idea. He sent Dean to his personal pad and a note to Lucifer to prank Dean when he woke up. Chances were Lucifer would eventually find his porn collection, so he would have some idea of how to really scare Dean. He could only hope his brother would share that memory if he took the not-so-subtle hint.

Turning back to Sam, he snapped his boyfriend into a rather...provocative outfit.

Sam looked down before he glared at Gabriel.

His outfit was tight leather, black wings and halo and chains practically everywhere.

"Fallen angel, really?" said Sam. Gabriel grinned. Sam smirked and decided to get some payback. He turned Gabriel into a Weeping Angel.

"What's this?"

"I'll introduce you to _Doctor Who_ later. Just don't tell Dean until later... we can give him a scare when he gets back with that costume."

Dean was the one who introduced Sam to the series after all.


	26. Chapter 26

Dean stretched, and then frowned. This wasn't the crappy motel bed he fell asleep on. This was Gabriel's super plush mattress. He had crashed on it enough times to recognize it. He felt someone snoring beside him. Slowly turning he saw Lucifer...sans clothes. He suddenly realized he didn't have any on either.

"Morning sweet cheeks," said an amused Lucifer.

Dean turned several shades of red before he quickly conjured up some clothes.

Lucifer propped himself up on one hand, giving Dean a _very_ good view of his bare chest.

"Did you have as much fun as I did cutie?" he said sweetly.

Dean silently counted to ten.

He had gone to sleep in some crappy motel, and woken up at Gabriel's pad with no knowledge of _how_ he had gotten there. He woke up with both himself and Lucifer _naked_ and the devil hinting that they had done more than sleep next to each other. Considering the lack of any liquids he really didn't want to think about, there was only one logical conclusion.

"Gabriel put you up to this didn't he?" he asked.

Lucifer grinned.

"I am going to castrate his ass," said Dean flatly, his heart rate going down.

"Sam will bitch if you do," Lucifer said pleasantly, eyes laughing.

Dean looked very relieved Lucifer had a pair of boxers on.

"Sam can still be the top, so he wouldn't bitch too much," said Dean. Now that he was _very_ awake and feeling evil, he looked at Lucifer. "I'm guessing you found the porn collection?"

"Among others," admitted Lucifer. Gabriel was right...pranking Dean had been hilarious.

"Just don't bring forth the Evil Overlord of Darkness or anything like him and I won't hex you," said Dean.

He sent a quick message to Sam to give Gabriel a quick kick to the balls for him...and from the amused (and pissed reaction from Gabriel) his brother heard him loud and clear.

Lucifer actually shuddered.

"I accidentally turned to that channel. I've created monsters, but they are no where near as bad as that _thing_," he said.

"How much you want to bet Gabriel and Sam have a prank planned for when I apparate back?"

"Probably."

Dean suddenly grinned at an evil thought that occurred to him.

"I don't know about you, but all that lovely-dovey crap Gabriel keeps doing with Sam makes me nauseous. How about we prank them back?"

"What are you suggesting?" asked Lucifer. Prank Gabriel? Sounded like fun.

Dean told him his idea. For every time Gabriel made Dean want to hurl with all that romance crap that girls seemed to love, Lucifer would pull off a variation of the stunt he just pulled in front of Gabriel or Sam. Lucifer cackled.

"So basically you want me to hang over you like Gabriel does to Sam as you've complained about repeatedly?"

"Yup. Wonder how long it'll take them to realize we're pranking them?"

"Considering how much time you spent in hell, they'll probably think it's genuine...so this could be a long-running prank," said Lucifer grinning.

"And I know just the way to get back at him for giving you that idea earlier. Keep the link open with Gabriel for a few minutes, I have some shopping to do," grinned Dean evilly. Gabriel was all about the candy. So this was sure to rile him up.

* * *

Dean knocked before he entered the room.

"You're clear!" shouted Sam from inside. Dean grinned as he double-checked that his payback was still firmly hidden inside his jacket.

Dean walked in. And laughed at Sam's outfit.

"Fallen angel, really?" he said giggling.

Sam smirked.

"Look behind you."

Dean turned around.

"GAH!" he said, holding his heart from shock.

Gabriel was dressed in gray looking _exactly_ like a Weeping Angel. He was also scowling and reaching out to Dean with his hands.

"Just for that you're not getting any of this," said Dean, once he got over his shock. He patted his jacket.

"More candy Dean?" said Sam.

"Not just any candy Sammy. It's a gummy bear," said Dean.

And when he pulled it out, Gabriel started drooling. He had heard rumors about these, but he had never thought to get any.

"What in god's name is that?!" said Sam staring incredulous.

"World's largest gummy bear. Cherry-flavor," said Dean smugly.

"A full pound of gummy bear all rolled into one," said Gabriel grinning. He reached for it.

"Mine," said Dean, "Consider the fact I'm not sharing payback for what you told Lucifer to do."

"Aw...come on Dean-o!" whined Gabriel.

"Here. You can have this," said Dean, handing over a candy bar.

"What the hell is a Zombie Bar?" asked Sam, reading the label.

"Open it and read what the bar says first," said Dean.

Lucifer was watching this through Dean's eyes. He cracked up upon reading the blood red letters on green-colored chocolate. So did Sam.

"Bite Me?" said Gabriel, reading it.

"It's chocolate and perfectly conveys how I feel about you," said Dean with a straight face.

"Love you too Dean-o," grinned Gabriel. Though he was still miffed Dean wasn't sharing that gummy bear.

"Coincidentally... I may or may not have switched the TV to _Futurama_."

"Which episode?" was Gabriel's immediate reply.

"The one where they introduce Robot Hell," Dean said with a straight face.

Gabriel chortled.

"Lucy outta get a real kick out of that one."

Ever since Sam introduce Gabriel to _Looney Tunes,_ he had been addicted to cartoons. He had gone through the entire _Futurama_ series while Dean was in hell, and the Robot Devil made him laugh.

* * *

"Dammit, how the hell did these idiots manage to hide the stink of demon magic from Bear?" bitched Dean.

Bear was specially attuned to demon magic, particularly after leaving hell. He could smell it out pretty fast.

"It's a big town and Loki isn't exactly helping," said Sam.

"Yeah, but Bear's used to his scent by now... Maybe it's Luc who's throwing him off?"

"I'm guessing it has more to do with the seal itself. With Samhain so close to rising and needing only one more to go, it's throwing off a lot of demon magic," said Gabriel helpfully. He was still in his Weeping Angel costume. "On the plus side, I found the other one. How about we make bets he'll try to turn me into the sacrifice because of how pissed off I made him?"

"What kind of bet?"

"I win, I get that gummy bear. You win, you get a week free of pranks from me," said Gabriel.

"Deal. What the hell? Who put this gum in the damn lock?!" said Dean.

Their hotel room locked was jammed with gum. From how fresh it was, Dean was betting it was that brat who egged his car earlier.

"Little asshole..." said Dean.

"Should we spell it out or just steal an empty room?" asked Sam. They always packed everything in expanded bags before leaving their room. It made getting a new one less awkward and didn't give the cops anything if they broke in.

Dean looked to find an empty room. The one next to him was pretty empty.

He hit the lock with his magic, opening the door.

A few minutes after they essentially stole the room, two angels suddenly appeared. Gabriel swore louder than Dean did, and was really glad that Sam's magic was coating him, because it disguised his true nature.

"Would it kill you to knock?!" said Dean, holding his chest. One of the angels happened to be Castiel.

Castiel looked at Dean oddly.

"Why did you not go into your room?" he asked curious.

"Some brat jammed the lock with bubblegum. Easier to find an empty one than try to undo that mess. Besides, I have no idea which bed these to morons used last night. Wait, why were you in our room?" said Dean.

"We came to warn you. You need to leave town immediately."

"Fuck off. We're not letting you smite the town just to kill two witches. Just because Bear can't smell them out with all the demon magic stinking up the air doesn't mean we can't scry for them."

Castiel and the unknown angel stared.

"How did you know there were two of them?"

"You're not the first angels we've come across, and one stopped by last night to warn us about the fact there are two of them. He apparently didn't like the idea of seeing Micheal or Lucifer going at it any more than we do," said Sam.

"That's impossible. We've had angels watching you for the past three weeks and you've never made contact with one," snapped the taller one.

Sam gave him an unamused look.

"Not our fault if your information is outdated and completely useless. Why in Loki's name (he ignored the snort his boyfriend gave off) would you think I was with Ruby? We only get along with one demon and that's because we know better than to trust him," said Sam flatly.

Where Dean swore by Death, Sam went with Loki. It wasn't like either of them took offense to the fact, and it just seemed wrong to use God's name when he wasn't even in heaven or listening to them. Strangely though, Sam still prayed every night.

"We received word that Ruby had ensnared you into her claws and was feeding you demons blood to amplify your psychic ability," said Castiel dully.

Since finding out Dean no longer considered himself a Winchester, Castiel had done more digging that his superiors had. He even went so far as to view the past without permission. Zachariah had lit into him about it, saying he was messing up the airwaves according to the Grigori who were watching the Winchesters.

After Dean told him Sam was dating the pagan Trickster Loki, Castiel was now completely sure that either the Grigori were hiding the truth about the brothers or he was deliberately being lied to.

And it was starting to annoy him greatly.

Dean gave the unfamiliar angel a look. It read volumes about how he felt about their current orders to smite the town and the witches with it.

"I feel either of you building up power to smite this place, I swear to Death I will go Godzilla on both your asses," he warned.

Castiel winced. Unlike Uriel, he had seen Dean's full animagus form. The sheer power he had _felt_ even through that distorted image...it could do some serious damage. And that was before the acid or fire hit them.

Even feeling a tiny fraction of the power Dean potentially could unleash had sent massive disruptions on the heavenly air waves...it was why Zachariah had known about Castiel's interest in Dean's actual past rather than what he had been told of it. It had taken a full week for it to return to normal.

"Not to mention what I'll do to both of you for harming all those innocents out there," said Gabriel warningly.

"Be silent pagan. You do not matter here," sneered the other angel.

Gabriel made a strangling motion with his hands. Oh how he wanted to flare his grace and give Uriel a nasty shock. Sam put his hand firmly on Gabriel's shoulder.

"If he's still pissing you off, you can do it later. Obliviate works on angels right?"

"With what I want to do with him, memory will be the least of his problems," snarled Gabriel.

Castiel discreetly distanced himself from Uriel. While he had been viewing Dean, he had caught a hint of Loki's true nature. Whichever angel he was, he was powerful enough for his grace to still slip through Dean's aura. He was _not_ going to be caught in any payback for Uriel's disrespect.

"Channel your anger at him towards the witches if they're stupid enough to grab you first," said Dean.

He wondered how bad they were gonna get it if they did take Gabriel. He would not be quick about their deaths, that much he knew.

Dean then turned to the angels.

"Leave. We are not letting you smite the town and there's no way in magic I am listening to anyone who can't even get their information right," he said, glaring at Uriel.

"We'll return later, Winchester," snarled Uriel.

The second angel left before Castiel, but he still managed to evade Dean's attempts to strangle him barehanded.

"I'm gonna kill that fucker," growled Dean.

"Not if I beat you to him first!" snarled Gabriel.

Heaven was about to be down an angel with how badly Uriel had pissed them both off.

* * *

Gabriel was both amused and angry. Amused because he had been 'chosen' as the sacrifice for the demon, and angry because of the way Uriel had been acting earlier.

Either way he was pleased that Dean would be forking over that oversized goody.

Gabriel snapped his fingers, grinning at the shocked faces of the witches.

"Now kiddies, I think it's time you two learned to respect your betters...and why it's never a good idea to hex candy..." said Gabriel coldly, his eyes glowing from an unholy light.

He killed them well after morning on the fourth day, ruining the ritual they had been attempting to break the seal. It was highly unlikely for anyone to bring Samhain out when no one knew that the witches had pissed off the wrong person who knew about the seal.

Either way, Lilith was pissed that the seal wasn't broken.


	27. Chapter 27

Castiel was on Earth...and for once not under orders.

Dean came around the bend of Bobby's house and spotted him.

"What do you want?" he asked cold as ice. He was still pissed about Uriel.

"We need to talk."

"So talk," said Dean, leaning against a random car, coffee in hand.

"You're a natural witch. You see reapers. And you're in contact with a powerful angel, though I have no idea which one he is," stated Castiel. With each sentence, he could see Dean's eyebrow raised. Clearly he was impressed with the fact Castiel had done his homework for once. "And you had a falling out with your birth father, though I could not catch the reason why."

"We found out he had a third son...one who wasn't magical like us. And that he loved Adam more than he ever had Sam or me," said Dean quietly.

"You are also extraordinarily obsessed with a movie involving a blue alien and a small girl with tan skin."

"Well at least you bothered to look. More than I can say about whoever's been givin' you orders."

"Zachariah was furious when he found out what I had been researching. Your animal spirit affected even heaven's air waves and it took a full week before it was back to normal."

"Loki said it was pretty powerful," said Dean.

"I know Loki is an angel. His grace slipped through just enough for me to feel it, but I do not know which one he is."

"What do you want Castiel?"

"I'm tired of being told only half-truths. Every time I've been given orders, they always told me to give them to the Winchester brothers. Never the Harvelles. I'm seriously considering ignoring them if the information does not catch up soon," said Castiel honestly.

"Or you could just ditch them entirely and join us. Loki's not the only angel who's sick of heaven. And I'm pretty sure he could cover for you when they get pissed you decided to quit working on half-information."

"Zachariah would send Uriel to kill me. It would take another angel of higher rank to override the order, and they would have to be well known enough to get even Micheal to back off."

"How about two?" asked Dean.

Castiel stared.

"Both the angels that side with us are known by practically everyone and they outrank a seraph," said Dean.

Dean sighed at the the conflicted look on Castiel's face.

"Look Cas, you're one of the only tolerable angels we've met. If you want to join us, we would be open to the idea. The mere fact you bothered to actually call us Harvelle and not Winchester like that dick Uriel means we'd be willin' to give you a shot. And to be honest...heaven's not exactly filling up to what it's supposed to be," said Dean.

Castiel sighed...then said "Cas?"

"Castiel is too long," explained Dean flippantly.

"Can I give you my answer later?" asked Castiel hopefully. If Dean did know a powerful angel able to tell Zachariah where he could shove that damn sword of his, then Castiel would be willing to try. He was a good soldier, but the fact Zachariah had all but jumped on him for trying to get _correct_ information that could save him later had him doubting heaven's orders.

* * *

Gabriel took one look at this Anna chick that had been making waves recently and knew what was really going on.

"Lo'?" said Sam questioningly.

"She's an angel. From the feel of it she ripped out her own Grace. Pretty stupid. About when were you conceived?" he asked the girl.

Anna blinked.

"Um... I'm about twenty."

"So roughly twenty years ago into the past, give or take. I'll meet you back at base with her grace," said Gabriel, vanishing with a snap.

"Who is that guy?"

"Loki. Pagan God," said Dean. He looked at Sam. "Bobby's?"

"Panic room. No need to drag Hel or Siri into this mess."

Hel and Sirius had settled into the Roadhouse and were running the place while Ellen hunted with Jo to make sure she stayed alive. Fenrir and the younger kids stayed with them in between trips to Bobby's house.

The hunters knew they were pagans, but considering how they acted they just treated them like regular kids. Considering they had Gabriel drop them off so they didn't have to worry about the car, they each took one of Anna's sides and apparated directly to their second home.

Anna threw up.

"What in god's name was that?"

"Side-along. Harder than angel flight, but it works," said Dean.

* * *

Uriel grinned coldly. Time to deal with that fool Annadriel. He waited until Castiel opened the door to find...no one there?

"Where are they Castiel?" demanded Uriel. The Grigori said that the Winchesters would be here! With that fool angel who left heaven!

Castiel rolled his eyes. More and more he was starting to wonder if he would be better off siding with the Harvelles. After hearing Uriel bitch and complain about not sensing the 'Winchesters' or the rogue angel, Castiel had enough and just slammed his hand on a quickly drawn angel banishing sigil to shut him up. As far as Uriel knew, they had been hiding and waiting to spring a trap.

He didn't even noticed the fact Castiel's hand was bloody.

Castiel barely paid any mind to Heaven's "orders" not to kill Ruby and the brothers. When he quickly had to duck from a heavy rock Uriel threw at him infused with enough grace to make it painful for weeks, he had enough.

So as a way to sign his 'resignation' as Zachariah's gopher, Castiel took three quick steps behind Uriel, kicked him so hard in the balls that the bastard saw stars and then he flew off to the one place he was sure to run into the Harvelles.

Robert Singer's house.

* * *

Dean spotted Castiel first. Anna immediately tensed, since she had been given back her memories by Gabriel. He let the angel in.

"You here to kill Anna?" asked Dean, holding his gun visible.

"I'm here to tell you I've had it with Zachariah and the bad intel. You had been be telling the truth about having higher angels on your side after what I just did to Uriel," said Castiel tonelessly.

If they didn't, he would have a hell of a time explaining why he had just attacked a 'superior' angel. Even if it did shut him up.

"Oh this I have to see. What could little Castiel the boring have done to that ass Uriel?" said Gabriel amused. Three seconds later he was on the floor laughing his ass off.

"What he do?" asked Sam.

"Enough that we _have_ to keep him! I can't believe you were actually brave enough to do that!" cackled Gabriel.

Castiel however was giving Gabriel an odd look.

"Who are you? That almost felt like Micheal!"

Anna was the one who answered that, though she was clearly as surprised by his presence on Earth as Castiel would be.

"Gabriel."

Castiel gave said arch angel a very...strange...look. If Dean had to place it, he would say it was constipated.

"_You're_ Gabriel?"

"You got a problem with that?" asked Gabriel arching an eyebrow.

"The rumors about your childishness were under-exaggerated," stated Castiel.

Gabriel mock gasped, holding his chest like he was mortally hurt by that comment.

"Wait...there are rumors about him in heaven?" said Sam.

Castiel nodded. Having spent so much time trying to find out the real facts about the brothers, he had gotten to know the Grigori better than most of his rank. They were so happy to have a fellow watcher that they filled up some of his time with them talking about the other angels and their hijinks...especially Gabriel.

And right now he was definitely living up to the stories.

"Oh yeah. Say, did they ever fix that one mirror I pranked when Micheal was showing me the way Grigori watch the humans?" asked Gabriel.

"No, and after you left they kept it far from Micheal so he couldn't find you. They consider it a trophy of sorts," deadpanned Castiel. Seeing Gabriel perk up at that news, he was quick to add the rest of the joke, "They say it's one of the best reminders that the great arch angel Gabriel could never _watch_ where he was going especially once sugar was invented."

Sam and Dean burst out laughing at the look on Gabriel's face. They couldn't help it.

"So can I stay here? Zachariah is becoming even more irritating the more he finds out how outdated his information is. He chewed me out for going anywhere near the Grigori, let alone that accident with the airwaves," asked Castiel.

"For mocking this idiot, you're welcome to stay as long as you want!" said Dean laughing.

* * *

Dean sat up when he heard the Enochian. While he wasn't that attuned to angels, he did cast part of it. Like the use of his 'name' at least according to above and below.

"Okay, what the hell did they say?"

"The Winchesters hand over the angel, or we throw Dean back into perdition," said Anna.

Dean gave Gabriel a look.

"Can I use your Grace to transmit my reply to that?"

"Use Castiel's. It won't raise as many questions," was the arch angel's flippant reply.

Dean looked to Castiel, who sighed.

"Put your hand on my shoulder and I'll relay the message for you," said Castiel.

Dean grinned.

There were quite a few shocked and ruffled feathers when Dean immediately replied _"Fuck off and get the name right assholes. The only living Winchester down here is Adam and there's no way you're throwing him into hell when he's still innocent."_

That sparked another message, this one directed specifically at Castiel. Gabriel was very proud when Castiel sent them the angel equivalent of the bird and told them he was following the orders of a higher angel than Zachariah.

After that he quit listening to their demands.

If they wanted to find out who's garrison Castiel now belonged to, they would have to actually look at the Winchesters instead of just assuming things.

* * *

Dean was drinking his beer when he saw the look on Cas' face. He knew that look. Mort had the same one after a particularly memorable mishap with some demons.

"You're about to ask me about that night before I got the recipe for the best salt-less scrambled eggs aren't you?"

Cas nodded.

"You mean that recipe you picked up but refuse to explain where you go it? You never did tell me that story," said Sam.

"Those were awesome!" agreed Gabriel.

Dean had an evil idea worthy of a Marauder. It was about time he traumatized Sam with this story.

"Everyone get settled in and get something to drink. Then I'll explain how I got that recipe and why my luck has three levels."

"God Mode, I-hate-my-life mode and WTF," said Sam. Seeing the look on the faces of those who _hadn't_ experienced all three at least once, Sam shrugged. "Dean has some really fucked up luck sometimes."

"Yeah, and the recipe story falls under the third one," said Dean.

Sam winced. The WTF category often lead to the most messed up and disturbing stories of all time.

Dean waited until those who didn't know what happened had taken a nice long drink before he started with "I got the recipe from a nice gay demon after a two day all-guy orgy in Illinois."

Queue the spit takes from Sam, Gabriel and Anna all at once. Castiel just looked amused.

"What the hell?" said Gabriel.

Sam took one look at Dean's face and knew. He had to have been saving this story for maximum trauma to his brother!

Dean was grinning evilly as he started it off.

"It was after Sam went to Stanford and before I got Bear. I had just finished a hunt and convinced Mort to supply the booze. Two shots in and I was so drunk I wandered into this one gay club that I later learned was run by a demon named Frank. Anyway I went in, got drunk off my ass, and somehow ended up in a six-way orgy with about five other guys who happened to be demons. Apparently one of the demon's boyfriend had recently broken up with him, and when I mentioned having dropped off Sammy they assumed I had the same problem. Woke up two days later with the worst fucking hangover and starving."

"How does this lead to that scrambled egg recipe? And how the hell do you end up so drunk that you couldn't tell it was a gay bar?" asked Gabriel. He was openly amused by the look on Sam's face. Dean pulled out a small jar. Gabriel took one whiff of the contents before nodding. Asgardian Mead could knock anyone on their ass, especially if A) they haven't had it before, and B) they were mortal. No wonder Dean hadn't noticed until after.

"I'm getting to that. Anyway we were all starving, so one of the demons whips up some breakfast for everyone. I was so hungry I didn't even notice the lack of salt, and the demons figured out I wasn't one of them when I took out a salt packet from my jacket since I noticed there wasn't any on the table. The guy had an annoyed look on his face and told me to try it before I ruined it with salt. I did and it was so good I had to get the recipe."

"And how did Mort react?"

"The first thing he asked me when he caught up to me at McDonald's since I left before I got any coffee was 'How did you end up in an all male demon orgy without getting killed?' I damn near scalded the guy in front of me, because I was so hung over I didn't even realize they were demons until he said something. Still got the recipe though. Should have seen their expressions when I texted the demon who made the eggs saying 'I still want that egg recipe'."

"Oh that I have to see!" said Gabriel laughing.

Dean had to ask Mort for the look on the demon's face. It still made him laugh.

"So you're gay?" said Anna.

"Dean's bi. He'd go out with either you or Castiel if he felt like it. As far as he's concerned, love and sexual gratification are difficult enough without having to worry about gender preferences," said Sam. "He picks up both guys or girls at bars, but it's usually women."

"Love is love, even if the other half isn't exactly human. So long as you don't go around dating any demons, I don't give a crap," said Dean helpfully.


	28. Chapter 28

Sam was still mortified after hearing the tale of where Dean had gotten his favorite scrambled egg recipe (which even Gabriel was addicted to after trying it) but he still retained the presence of mind to punch his brother in the face for doing it at the worst possible time. Gabriel, however, was still openly amused at the expression on the demon's faces when they found out they had invited a known hunter to their little party and that his first reaction after eating breakfast with them wasn't to go after them, but demand the egg recipe.

He then bugged Crowley about any rumors of Dean Winchester around that time from the pit, and burst into fresh peals of laughter hearing the demons comment on how weird Dean 'Winchester' was. And then had to repeat the story to a very confused Crowley.

Apparently no one had believed the demons in question because of the outdated information in the pit, so finding out the story was true made Crowley question exactly how the hell Dean had found that group of demons at the right time to join in.

Of course that still left the question of what to do with Anna.

"Why don't we just have her do what Castiel did and transfer her to Gabriel's unit? It's not like Micheal can force him to kill her," said Dean sensibly, as he was currently tormenting Sam with what little he did remember of the orgy, causing the taller brother to hold his ears and hum loudly to avoid getting any details.

Gabriel thought it was hilarious. And a testament to how much Sam loved Dean because he had yet to shoot him in the ass to shut him up. It took real love...or patience...or insanity...not to shoot someone to shut them up about the details of their (ahem) encounters when you really didn't want to know.

And to add to the madness, Castiel had this weird look on his face while Anna was with Gabriel enjoying the chaos Dean was causing by doing his brotherly duty of older siblings _everywhere_ by giving his younger brother details of something that would scar him for life and give him nightmares through the description alone.

"That's actually a good idea. Now where's that popcorn?" said Gabriel grinning.

"Think we should call Luke so he can properly enjoy the show?" said Dean grinning.

Gabriel gave him a thumbs up, and promptly called Lucifer in to enjoy the show.

And the first thing Gabriel asked was if his brother had brought the popcorn. Castiel nearly had a shit fit when he sensed Lucifer, and Anna wasn't much better.

"How... what is _he_ doing out?" said Castiel horrified.

"Relax Cas. Luke doesn't want to go after Micheal any more than I want him to take over Sam. Apparently your dad isn't as dead as people think because he gave him the choice to behave and be allowed out early, or stick in the cage and have to fight Micheal," said Dean flippantly.

It took some doing before Castiel's breathing evened out. Here was another sign that joining the Harvelles was the best option. They at least were up front to their allies. Anna, however, was not as convinced.

"How can you possibly trust him? He's _Lucifer_," she said.

"He's the cousin people don't like talking about in reunions. He would rather screw over Micheal by insuring I don't say yes to him than to try and steal Gabriel's boy-toy as his own," retorted Dean flatly.

"So nice to hear you say I'm part of the family," said Lucifer dryly. To be honest, it was a nicer description of how they felt about him than Micheal would have used.

"Come on Lucy, you know we love you! Even if you might one day try to violate what's mine in a way I would never forgive you for~!" said Gabriel.

"Dean, could you slap him for me? You're closer," deadpanned Lucifer. Dean obliged with an innocent smile on his face. Gabriel pouted.

"I can't believe you would side with _Lucifer_," said Anna.

"To be fair, we aren't siding with him. We're siding with _the_ ultimate neutral party after he helped us out. Lucifer just happens to agree with Mort's idea to piss off heaven and hell," said Dean.

"Mort?" repeated Anna.

Without warning, he appeared.

**Hello Annadriel. Dean, the angels are planning to send two seraphs after her. If you don't want them to find Lucifer or Gabriel, you might want to leave now. I sincerely doubt your father would appreciate you accidentally burning the house down with a holy oil circle gone wrong,**said Mort.

Anna stiffened.

"Death?!" she shrieked.

This was too much for her to take. How could the Winchesters side with _Death_?

"Please tell me one of those bastards is Uriel. I want to set Loki on his ass," said Dean.

**Uriel is the one leading it. It seems your reply to their demands has set off a real flurry of activity. They want to know how you 'corrupted' Castiel enough for him to betray a superior without hesitation,**said Mort blandly.

"Good. Maybe that will get their head out of their asses," said Dean flatly.

"Someone had better explain to me now why you're able to see Death and not panic!"

Dean turned his unamused emerald gaze on her. Any chance she had of getting on his good side had vanished.

"Because, little seraph, my soul is not entirely Dean Harvelle. Death is one of my oldest and most trusted friends. And if you angels weren't so caught up in your own little world you would have figured out the truth by now," he said flatly. Castiel shivered.

Even he had figured it out once he chose the Harvelle group over heaven. The signs were all there and this just confirmed his suspicions about what Dean actually was.

Siding with the Master of Death in full power was just a tactical decision, and one he definitely didn't regret. At least Dean was upfront about his intentions and never felt the need to lie to his allies.

Anna's eyes were wide. She cast what little Grace she had on Dean and recoiled visibly.

"You know I think we might as well hand this idiot over to them," said Dean to Gabriel.

Gabriel looked between Anna and Dean, and sighed.

"It would probably be best. Micheal's gonna be pissed as hell with her, but she's too dangerous to keep here. I doubt she'd understand either of you the way Castiel is at least trying to," said Gabriel.

"Quick question. Does the Fidelius work on angels?" asked Dean.

"If you cast it, possibly. Why?"

"I don't want the idiots above finding out about Luke, let alone where Gabriel's hiding. Let them stew for a while longer," said Dean vindictively. They had already threatened Sam's life indirectly through Castiel.

They would not make a direct threat against his small (but still growing strong) family and survive.

The dragon inside demanded that he protect his hoard.

Dean only tempered that protective tendency into a fine point.

Anna would wake up in the middle of an abandoned field with the memory of Dean Harvelle, but unable to give up anything she had learned while she was with the brothers. Dean was very thorough.

She smashed the vial Gabriel had given back to her and went back up. Zachariah was waiting.

"Report," he sneered.

Annadriel told what little she could, unable to speak about the curse Dean had placed on her. They never suspected the entire thing was a set up by Zachariah to ensnare the brothers. To try and get her deep into their camp enough to ferret out anything useful heaven needed to know.

And now she was bound by magic, all because Zachariah failed to realize Dean's true nature.

She hated her life.

* * *

It took relatively little time to settle Castiel into the group. Lucifer was their inside man when it came to demons, and Castiel was their inside source to heaven. Apparently he had amused the Watchers so much they made him an honorary member enough to pass on one of their special mirrors. The fact that in return for their updates he passed on word of Gabriel's misadventures to them was just bonus.

Things seemed to settle down...until Dean and Sam got a case that really caused a lot of trouble.

Dean was grinning. There was no other word for it. Sam looked exasperated and embarrassed as hell.

Gabriel loved it.

"Dammit Dean, will you knock if off?" whined Sam. And he _whined_.

"Make me bitch," said Dean playfully and with a cackle in his voice.

"You are such a jerk. I don't know why I put up with you," complained Sam.

"Oh come on Sammy! This is hilarious!" said Gabriel laughing.

Sam gave him a look. Dean interpreted it as Bitch Face number four, aka Gabriel was sleeping on the couch tonight.

"Gabe, he's ferreting out the details of our sex life and what positions we use. He knows I prefer to keep that kind of thing to myself," said Sam deadpanning.

"It's pick on the Samsquatch day!" said Dean, more than a little drunk. Gabriel cackled and clinked his bottle in agreement. The look on Sam's face as Gabriel cheerfully discussed the amount of kinkiness that went on in their bedroom was absolutely hysterical, and like a good big brother Dean was like Bear on a bone.

Embarrassing his baby brother was always fun for him, especially when he was dead drunk and wouldn't remember half of what Gabriel told him.

Bear barked in agreement, the two pugs having settled next to their alpha.

"Gabriel if you don't knock it off right now I'm not letting you anywhere near me for a week," warned Sam. Gabriel gave him a look, clearly stating that he would believe that when pigs flew without magic.

Dean snickered evilly. He saw the other look Gabriel had in his eyes. Sam was going to be in for a rough couple of nights if Gabriel had his way.

Castiel rolled his eyes. Sometimes the Harvelles were total children. Though in a fit of evil genius, he decided to show Sam the angel banishing rune.

Gabriel would be kicked out of the bedroom (plus the house), and it would take _hours_ for the sigil to wear off.

Something Sam took vindictive pleasure in, and Gabriel whined incessantly to Lucifer about a week later.

* * *

Dean looked at the books with barely contained annoyance. It was bad enough learning about the _Harry Potter_ series. It was worse running into the _Supernatural_ ones.

Mostly because while the ones about his past life were only a little wrong, this _Supernatural_ was so far off track that it wasn't even funny anymore.

And frankly Dean needed to get through to this Chuck that he was sick of his misconceptions. This had gone on too long for his liking.

It took them two days to find this guy, and the second Dean laid eyes on him his Soul Sight kicked into overdrive.

"You're not the Prophet. What the hell are you?" he said confused.

'Chuck' had way too strong a soul, even one "gifted" by heaven. In fact if Dean had to make a comparison Chuck had a soul as strong as Mort's was the one time he looked at it.

"Come on in. I've made some tea," said Chuck nervously.

Sam looked very confused at this point.

"Dean? What's going on?"

"He feels like Mort," said Dean.

"Wait, what?"

"Call Gabriel if you want to confirm it. Chuck is not human, but whatever he is feels about as neutral as Mort," said Dean flatly.

Sam looked at Chuck with wide eyes. Dean's necklace, a remnant of that horrible night Sam learned the truth about monsters, felt red hot on his skin. He had forgotten to pull it out from under his shirt this morning.

Chuck sighed.

"Actually I'm God. I just prefer not to get involved at the moment," said 'Chuck'.

Dean settled slightly. Mort had explained why God couldn't interfere between Lucifer and Micheal. It was like Gabriel. He couldn't stand choosing one son over the other...and this was a matter of free will, so his hands were tied by the rules. The fact was that while Dean wasn't someone who believed, he did understand in a way many couldn't.

Sam looked shocked beyond belief.

"Do you even hear the prayers anymore?" he had to ask.

Chuck gave him a calm look.

"I hear them all the time. I just can't answer them. Some of them come through clearer than others...like yours."

Sam blushed. He couldn't help it.

"Oh?" said Dean amused.

"_'Please keep my family safe. Especially Dean, since he needs it more than anyone,_'" repeated Chuck.

Sam still believed in God and it was somewhat amusing to Gabriel that he still prayed each night for God to keep Dean and his family safe. Especially Dean, who was the most damaged of all. He put up a brave front, but Sam knew his brother needed someone he could rely on. Mort was a good start, but he wasn't what Dean really needed.

Sam only hoped Dean would find that person before he snapped.

"Look, I could care less about the books, but could you _please_ quit writing such lies? The way you portray us quite frankly makes me sick," said Dean to Chuck.

"Sorry. I'm actually just rewriting the whole thing from previous takes. This isn't the first time this scenario has happened, though this one is infinitely more cheerful than any of the others."

"What makes you say that?" asked Sam.

Chuck looked at them both equally.

"Because unlike any of the other attempts, this time around you actually _let_ people in. You admit when you need help and you don't let your pride get in the way of asking. Magic played very little, and it has been used before, but whatever Death did to Dean caused a chain reaction and the ripples are still being felt. At this point I can't even tell how it will end, but I get the feeling it won't be as terrible as the last time."


	29. Chapter 29

Dean was antsy. He couldn't help it.

"Dammit Dean, either go Stitch or get some sleep. You're driving me batty," bitched Sam.

They were on the road to the Roadhouse for one reason. The thing was that Dean had no idea what was waiting for him, and Sam planned to keep it that way.

Dean didn't celebrate his birthday, and they rarely had time off enough to do it. At least, not since Sam went off to college. Ellen and Bobby always tried to celebrate it when they could. Even if it was a few small gestures.

So when they pulled up to the Roadhouse, Sam took vindictive pleasure in the shock Dean's face gave off upon seeing every single hunter they had contact or hunted with (except idiots like Gordon) waiting.

"Sam, what. The . Hell."

"Happy Birthday Dean. We may have had to bribe the younger ones with guarantees that they could take pictures with a multistory black dragon," admitted Sam.

Hell, most of the hunters they had hunted with in the past were under forty, so naturally the chance to take a picture with a real dragon was too good to pass up. Besides, Sam was cheerfully having Dean repay Ellen for any booze she gave out for free.

"I have only one question. Will there be chocolate ice cream?"

"Dude, I'm dating Loki and he's in on this. What the hell do you think?" said Sam snorting.

Dean grinned.

"Let's get this party started!"

"Oh my aching head..." groaned Dean.

He had been enjoying his party...right up until Gabriel broke out the Asgardian Mead. Then everything became a blur. His bloodshot eyes turned to the nearest source of movement and he found Gabriel fondling his brother.

Not his problem. Gabriel was still pouting over the fact Castiel reminded Sam that he did have a way to make Gabriel sleep on the couch.

On the pool table was Sirius in canine form whimpering from his hangover with Fen, Jor and Sleipnir sleeping on top of him drooling.

He looked to an amused Hel.

"Please for the love of Death tell me you have a hangover remedy back there."

Hel snickered, sending pain throughout Dean's brain.

"Hangover draught isn't going to get rid of that one. Sirius learned that the hard way."

"Then kill me and end my misery," deadpanned Dean.

"Mort would be most displeased if I killed you," she said amused. Then she nodded over to a section Dean hadn't seen just yet.

The snort of laughter escaped him and sent fresh peals of pain throughout his skull.

There on the floor was a snoring Castiel, still clutching the jar of now-almost-empty mead. A drunken angel was pretty funny to watch.

"If a hangover remedy won't work, then do you have anything to knock me out until this goes away?"

Hel tossed him a different vial. He downed it without a second thought and was out cold.

Sam opened his eyes and gave Dean an amused look.

"He has no idea why you broke out the Mead does he?"

Hel snickered.

Dean had, upon learning Castiel had never gotten drunk before, broken out the jar of mead he had and challenged the angel to a drinking contest. Castiel won, only because Dean's body could only handle four shots of it before he passed out. Gabriel had been very impressed he could handle four, since most humans couldn't tolerate more than a single sip, let alone a full shot glass.

After that he continued the challenge and proceeded to get the little soldier angel so drunk he could barely remember his own name, let alone what he really was. Castiel damn near finished the jar and passed out in his chair, though he fell over when someone bumped it.

Gabriel had snickered, knowing Dean was in for a world of pain when he woke up because of how much he had drank.

* * *

Zachariah was both pissed and confused.

His anger was because he had grabbed the Winchesters and tried to throw them into a fake life, but for some reason he was having trouble with Dean. Not because of their angel protector Castiel, but because for some reason Dean kept wandering off.

It was almost like he saw fake memories and knew they weren't his! Zachariah was getting tired of hauling that idiot back.

Dean was annoyed. He knew something was wrong when Sam didn't recognize him, but he had no idea why people assumed he was the janitor.

This was getting ridiculous.

_Mort, what the fuck is going on here? Why the hell do I have memories of some crappy janitor?_

**Zachariah is attempting to prove a point. That you cannot escape your bloodline or desire to protect others.**

_And the fact neither of us have _tried_ to escape being hunters is...?_

**Apparently beyond him. Look, just put up with this nonsense until you see an angel and then you can beat the crap out of them. Or you can just call Gabriel and tell him that his idiot brother has turned his boy-toy into a desk jockey.**

_...Gabriel it is then. Last I checked he didn't take kindly to anyone trying to steal Sammy from him. Thanks for reminding me._

Dean immediately sent a 'ping' to Gabriel indicating he wanted to chat.

_**Dean, where the hell are you two? Bobby's been going nuts trying to find you!**_

_One of your brothers has us in an illusion and turned Sammy into a boring desk jockey. Mort seems to think he's trying to prove we can't escape being hunters, which frankly doesn't make much sense._

_**Say WHAT? Who the hell is messing with MY Sam?!**_

Gabriel was definitely pissed. One of the reasons why he loved Sam was because he wasn't boring. Hunters lived exciting lives and the thought of dating a desk jockey was like kryptonite to Gabriel's relationship.

Dean left the connection open as he spotted an angel. Gabriel hissed in fury. It was bad enough Uriel had openly disrespected him, but this was something he wouldn't tolerate on a good day.

It took little time for Gabriel to follow the open connection to Dean. And even less time for him to all but kidnap Sam.

The younger hunter was very confused as to how he knew Gabriel without knowing who he was. Or why he went along with it with not even a hint of protest. Zachariah was furious.

* * *

The moment Dean and Sam were back at the car, he appeared.

Sam was still very confused since the angel's powers were still in effect, but Dean looked pleased. It was payback time.

"I don't know how you knew to contact that pathetic pagan, but you're going to learn your lesson whether you like it or not!" hissed Zachariah.

"Yeah, good luck with that when you're the one who's in trouble," said Dean smirking.

Zachariah felt a flare of Grace behind him. He turned to face Loki...and Castiel?

"You!"

"Dean, do you want me to break that memory spell he used or do you want him to do it?" asked Castiel, nodding to a very incensed Gabriel.

"Have him do it, so we know it was done right. No offense, but last I checked you were lower ranked than this idiot."

"Like a mere pagan could break a seraph's..." started Zachariah before he felt the full force of Gabriel's grace on him. His eyes were wide with shock and more than a little fear.

"Yeah, not a pagan moron. I just prefer them to the idiots back home," snarled Gabriel, "And what idiots you all are. I clearly marked Sam as _mine_ and you were still foolish enough to ignore the warning signs."

"Gabriel. But you're dead!"

"Not dead. In hiding with His approval. You've gone too far Zachariah. But you'll live long enough to pass the warning. And tell Uriel if I see his face down here I'll kill him next," said Gabriel flatly.

Zachariah flinched. He had pissed off the wrong angel and he damn well knew it now.

* * *

Dean looked up from the laptop.

"They still going at it?" he said tiredly to Castiel. Castiel looked up from where he was scratching Bear's ears.

"Yes. I imagine watching Gabriel in full angel form was something of a turn on for Sam. They have not stopped in four hours," said Castiel, cocking his head and listening. Gabriel sent a flick of grace at him telling him to stop being a damn voyeur.

Dean snorted.

"I better get brewing some pain reliever then. I get the feeling Sam's going to be sore in the morning. You hungry?" he asked Cas.

"I do not require sustenance."

"Bull and shit. Don't think I didn't see you sneaking an extra burger last time I grilled," snorted Dean. Castiel ducked his head sheepishly.

Dean was the cook in the family, and everyone knew it. When he was in the kitchen, there was no fighting...except over who got what. It was something he never got tired of, cooking for his family. And he knew it came mostly from Harry, who was one of the best chefs he had ever seen.

It was also the reason why Sam never said a word about Dean watching cooking shows of all things when he needed to unwind.

Dean went to the stove and whipped up a few burgers. He plated three and handed those to Castiel. Two he ate and he gave another two smaller ones to the pugs while Bear got one all to himself.

Dean spoiled the dogs and they all knew it. He just loved the silly things.

Once they were done eating, Dean turned into Stitch and curled up next to Bear.

Castiel had a strange sort of smile on his face as he watched the hellhound crossbreed curl around the blue creature while the pugs snuggled up beside him. It was strangely cute.

Cas ran his hand along Stitch's spine, causing the blue creature to curl into it. It was something he had seen Sam do many times, but the only time Dean ever undid that little ball he went into when he was afraid or upset was when Sam was the one stroking his fur.

Castiel was sure Dean would have gone into that ball again, but something about the way he was petting Stitch made Dean reluctant to do so.

Sam wandered downstairs, starving and exhausted when he stumbled upon the scene. He made another mental check that Dean clearly trusted Castiel more than he wanted to admit before going back upstairs to tell Gabriel to snap something up. He wasn't about to ruin that adorable moment.

* * *

Dean was pissed. There was no other way to describe it.

Somehow Adam had gotten _their_ phone number and called. Frankly Dean could care less if the idiot got killed, but they were Hunters. People who kept the innocent safe. And Adam was an innocent.

So he went about it as quickly as he could by turning into Godzilla and scanning the area for any monsters. He ignored three of them simply because they didn't fit the description Adam gave, but a trio of Ghouls nearby would work.

Those things were dead before sunrise.

Adam took one look at Dean and flinched.

"Look, if you want to become a hunter, then that's fine by me. Just don't call us again. Next time you think something after you, call Bobby first," he said flatly.

Sam took pity on Adam.

"Dean's upset because finding out about you was the last straw. We broke off things with John because we found out he cared more for you than he did us. He just doesn't want to be around a reminder of that time," explained Sam apologetically.

Adam's eyes were wide.

"What do you mean?"

"John wasn't happy when he found out we had powers. He took it out on Dean until he couldn't take it any more and we ran away. Then we found out through a mutual friend that you existed and Dean felt betrayed by John. So much so that he told him to leave and never come back. We've worked for years to overcome the damage he's done."

Adam looked at a very unhappy Dean.

Sam knew Dean was going to turn into Stitch for the next few days. And frankly he was more in the mood to go into his unicorn form and run for hours until he was exhausted after finally meeting Adam face-to-face.

"Anyway, if you run into anything trying to kill you again, call Bobby first," said Sam.

Adam nodded and put the card into his wallet.

* * *

Gabriel looked at an incensed Stitch.

"Someone's in a pissy mood today," he said.

"We met Adam. Dean's just dealing with all the memories he drug up," said Sam tiredly.

"Where are you going?"

"Running. I told Castiel to grab Dean the first chance he had without being mauled. Out of all of us he's the only one who could possibly calm Dean down while I'm out."

"Running?" said Gabriel with an eyebrow raised.

Sam turned into his animagus form by way of explanation. Gabriel's eyes lit up with understanding. Clearly Sam had his own memories to deal with, which was why he wasn't trying to reign Dean in at the moment.

"I'll come with you. Lucy can keep an eye on these two while we're out," said Gabriel.


	30. Chapter 30

Dean woke up feeling better than normal. The last thing he remembered was Castiel stroking his fur and then falling asleep. Waking up without Cas watching him felt...wrong...for lack of a better word.

Dean stretched and went to find Lucifer, or Luke as Dean flippantly called him. It was better than Lucy.

"Where's Cas?"

"Gone. Someone up in heaven with enough strings deliberately pulled him back up. He found like hell against it but I'm guessing they had Micheal power it. His human vessel was dumped off somewhere," said Lucifer flatly.

"What."

"Castiel has been forcibly recalled back, and while they now know Gabriel has claimed Sam they're still dead determined to claim you since you're Micheal's vessel."

Dean felt cold inside.

He had seen Heaven's handiwork, and he had the feeling they were going to do something terrible to Castiel. Brainwashing was the first thing that sprang to mind.

Sam walked in, still in unicorn form. He looked exhausted but much calmer than before. He switched back immediately when he saw Dean's face.

"What happened?"

"Someone dragged Castiel back to heaven. Since Luc couldn't exactly announce he was here he couldn't stop it."

Gabriel flinched.

"Sorry about that. If I hadn't gone with Sam..."

Dean shook his head.

"It's not often Sam feels the need to just let go and run for hours, but when he does he's more vulnerable than I am. Most things won't bother unicorns, but Sam doesn't have monsterproof skin. I'm glad someone with healing abilities was with him. We'll get Cas back. They need him to get to us since we clearly don't trust heaven," said Dean sensibly.

* * *

Dean picked up the phone and he knew something was very wrong. The man had Castiel's voice, but it definitely wasn't Cas.

Dean packed everything up and they were at the hospital where this Jimmy Novak was before sundown.

"Thank god... I thought I was going crazy," said Jimmy in relief.

"Shit...when the angels kidnapped Castiel they must have ditched you at the first available hospital," said Dean, inspecting Jimmy's soul.

There were hints of Castiel in the man, enough to get him into heaven upon death, but that was it. Whatever had grabbed Castiel didn't want his vessel. It was a small mercy they at least sent him to a hospital instead of somewhere a demon could find him.

Jimmy was just glad he knew Dean's number and that the man would take him seriously. The interactions he saw between Dean and the angel were amusing (who knew angels could bat for the same team?) the fact was Dean considered Castiel part of his family. And by extension it meant he would do everything in his power to keep Jimmy safe even if Castiel wasn't in his body at the moment.

"We have two options. One, we wait for Castiel to return once they let him go and you can go back to being just another vessel."

"What's the other?" asked Jimmy. He wanted his life back.

"I talk to Castiel's father about making another custom vessel for him and I put the Fidelius charm around the fact you were his vessel before. That _should_ keep the demons from trying to come after you for information, and I could probably spin a yarn or two about a cult kidnapping you to cover why you've been gone for so long. If that doesn't work I can give you enough gold that you and your family can stay afloat until you find someplace new," offered Dean.

Hiding Castiel's vessel under a powerful charm and insuring the man's family made it through this mess was the least he could do for the poor guy. It wasn't Jimmy's fault most angels were complete assholes.

Jimmy's face flooded with absolute relief.

"Sam, call Gabriel in and keep a close eye on Jimmy while I work the situation out. If you even think there's demons nearby you call me fast."

"Got it," said Sam. This wasn't a hunt. This was a rescue and protection job. Under no circumstances was he to let Jimmy out of his sight.

"What do I have to do?" asked Jimmy.

"You get to stay next to the dogs. Out of all of them Bear smells trouble the fastest, and don't try to slip away. I'm giving him orders to keep you pinned if I have to. If demons threaten your family you tell us straight off. We'll go under polyjuice as you if we have to rescue them. They won't be expecting that."

"What..."

"It's something that will make us look exactly like you for an entire hour. It tastes beyond foul but the uses are great when we need it," explained Sam.

"Basically we would become your body doubles," said Dean helpfully. He had just gotten on the phone with Chuck, since it was less conspicuous than telepathy. If God had known Dean would be highly telepathic to the point he could hold a round robin, he would have made sure the angels knew Chuck was telepathic too.

Instead they had to rely on phones.

"Well?"

"He's okay with making a vessel just for Castiel to use. He'll make it look mostly like Jimmy to throw people off his scent if he wants to go home rather than stick around," said Dean.

"You mean I can go back home? Back to my life?" said Jimmy, not daring to hope.

"It means we'll layer you with as many protections as we can get away with. You _and_ your family. And we'll make sure you're able to get back into your life once you're ready for it. If anything happens. Anything at all that you can't readily explain, feel free to call us. We'll be there as fast as we're able," said Dean honestly.

Gabriel looked at Jimmy amused. The man was Catholic. _Very_ Catholic. He had been uncomfortable with the idea of being attracted to Dean (that had been all Castiel) but he was fine with the idea of someone as powerful as Gabriel dating Sam. He wasn't a hypocrite.

Jimmy shifted in his seat. Sam had taken Jimmy's place and Dean was going to act as the one who 'found' Jimmy and explain what happened.

As far as his family would be aware, he had been abducted by insane cultists who believed magic was real who had taken him to England. Dean was quite gleeful about that part of the story.

Gabriel and Lucifer were just there to insure nothing came anywhere _near_ Jimmy until the protections and charms were in place.

So he waited impatiently.

Finally after what seemed like forever he heard the sound of Dean's Impala.

"Daddy!"

Jimmy caught his daughter in his arms with relief. They were safe.

"I explained things to them. They know you were held in captivity by some cult from England connected to the rash of murderers and disappearances a few years back, and that the trauma of what happened will likely haunt you for years. Your wife also agreed to hide under 'witness protection', but if need be I can tweak the memories so no one will suspect anything."

"No. I would rather tell her the truth, or at least some of it."

Dean leaned closer to Jimmy.

"If nothing else, claimed they brainwashed you. The English have a spell that forces you to do their will and very little can stop it. There are countless court documents from around that time where people were forced into murdering innocents. No one will question it and I can give you cases to cite if anyone asks," said Dean.

Jimmy nodded. Claiming he was brainwashed by a cultist was a hell of a lot more believable for police to believe than he was taken over by an angel.

Dean made sure Jimmy and his family were settled in a hunter hotspot. As far as the wife and kid knew, Jimmy had been kidnapped and brainwashed. It was only because Dean had known the signs that he was able to get Jimmy back to his family.

And because he might know something, Jimmy was told to keep his eyes open and to contact Dean or the Roadhouse first.

* * *

Castiel was in so much pain. Zachariah was furious at him for siding with Dean and Sam. He wanted someone who had an in with the brothers, and Castiel was the perfect choice. The only problem being that Castiel had no interest in cooperating.

Instead he fought with everything he had to keep his memories the way they were. The only solace he had was that the mirror the Grigori have given him had slipped under the couch so they couldn't corrupt that as well.

He could feel his mind slipping. He didn't want to betray Dean's trust, which was so hard won and so fragile to begin with. Harry rarely trusted anyone, and it had bleed into Dean. If he hurt the brothers he would never forgive himself.

So he fought with everything he had to remain true to himself.

There was a sudden ping against his senses. It was almost enough to make him slip from shock.

Dean.

The ping hit him again, only this time he clutched to it like a lifeline. He could hear Dean's voice talking to him, keeping him calm, shoring up his defenses. Outside his mind he heard Zachariah's rage as he sensed the change. He knew something was reaching out to Castiel and forcing them to back off.

There was a yank, and he felt pain like nothing he had experienced. But he wasn't falling and that was all he cared about.

"Sweet Father..." said Gabriel horrified.

Castiel's grace was almost torn to shreds, and he knew torture when he saw it. The fact Castiel had held his sanity long enough for Dean to find that mirror that was tied only to Castiel was a miracle in itself.

Castiel saw Dean's eyes turn slitted. This wasn't the playful Stitch, who cheered everyone up and shocked people for fun. This was his dragon in full rage at what had been done to him. This was a mythical beast known for collecting enraged that his 'hoard' had been harmed.

"Dean, either calm down or go outside. I can't have your smoke or the smell interfering," said Gabriel.

Castiel watched Dean go outside. He whimpered from the pain...until the windows went dark. It took him a moment to realize Dean had turned into his dragon form and that what little light he could see was going through the membranes of Dean's wings. He heard a growl, a low rumble that made the floor tremble under his body.

"Better than having that mother hen hovering," muttered Gabriel.

Lucifer helped to keep Castiel asleep while Gabriel went to work. They were both very pissed off about this.

_I want to make it clear. Once he's healed I am going to find out who did this and drag their asses down from heaven. They are going to pay for trying to hurt my family_, snarled Dean in their heads.

_**After this stunt, I wouldn't be surprised if Father forced a reincarnation cycle or just threw them out,**_ replied Lucifer blandly. He knew his Father was listening. He always was now that he had allowed Lucifer to walk freely among humans.

And there was no way he would like this. Not one bit. Free will had bound his hands. Lucifer _chose_ to fight Micheal the first time around, and it was Micheal's choice to bind his brother in that cage. Castiel chose someone he could trust over the 'divine right' of heaven.

And he was paying the price for it.

Castiel whimpered in his induced sleep, but Gabriel could feel his grace curl around the gentle touch of Dean's natural magic. Right now Castiel needed Dean almost as much as the dragon needed to be sure Castiel's pain was avenged. He didn't tolerate attacks on his family and he sure as hell wasn't going to let this slide.

* * *

Zachariah waited until Sam went missing before he made his move.

He grabbed Dean, intent on forcing the man to agree to be heaven's lapdog. Most of the seals had been broken, all they needed now was for Dean to kill Lilith and get this show started.

What he wasn't counting on was for Dean's rage to turn him in a cold, calculating person who was more interested in finding out who tortured Castiel in heaven than in helping them.

Dean's nostrils flared and he felt a twinge of fear. What the hell was wrong with this human?!

"You. You were among the angels who tortured Castiel," he snarled.

Zachariah started to back away, feeling as though he had made a monumental mistake. This wasn't just a human. This was something much more dangerous and pissed off.

Dean took a step closer, his eyes turning a shade of emerald rarely seen in humans. Seeing them slit, the angel knew he was in trouble.

Unlike Gabriel, Dean wasn't in the mood for warnings. He was out for some payback against the angels for hurting someone he cared about.

"You want me to sit tight while Sam kills Lilith and breaks Lucifer out. I got news for you asshole. Lucifer's already out and that cage is still strong. Killing Lilith won't work if the first seal was never broken," sneered Dean.

Zachariah was beginning to sweat.

"And you, little seraph, won't have a chance to warn Micheal the others that I'm coming for each and every single one of them," said Dean.

And in that moment he let Godzilla take over. The dragon inside of him was enraged beyond belief that this seraph dared to harm what he considered his. And now the angel was going to pay for it.

* * *

The three angels on the side of the brothers felt Dean lose control...and the death of one of theirs.

"Which one pissed him off?"

"Zachariah," said Castiel immediately. He shuddered as memories of what had been done to him tried to surface. Gabriel curled one of his wings around the younger angel.

Since being rescued, Castiel had become rather clingy. Especially around Dean. Dean put up with it, because he was sometimes clingy to Sam when he was upset. It wasn't uncommon to find Castiel around Gabriel or Dean...afraid that he would be kidnapped again.

They heard the sound of thunderous wings and the minor earthquake caused by landing. There was a low growl and Castiel was one of the first outside. Dean was shrinking his form, but his wing immediately curled around Cas to assure him that he was alright. Dean's head nuzzled the worried angel, to the amusement of Sam.

Wasn't interested in Cas. He would believe that when Dean quit acting like a damn mother hen!


	31. Chapter 31

The entire house was in a panic, and Dean was pissed as hell. Sam had been taken, by _Ruby_ no less. He knew why, they planned to use Sam as bait get Dean to kill Lilith.

He would have done it anyway if she had gotten anywhere near him. He disliked demons on principle, but Lilith was a special kind of sick. She preferred _children_ as her meat sacks. The last one, the one where she killed his doppleganger, had been a little girl. She had used the girl to kill and keep the family in a perpetual nightmare.

Last time Gabriel checked on the family in question, they had moved to Rome in Vatican city and the girl was studying to be a devout Catholic girl. That kind of nightmare tended to do things to people and it broke Dean's heart seeing children involved. The only solace he took was that the girl had lived and had come out of it completely unharmed except for the emotional and mental trauma.

But right now Dean wanted to rip Lilith apart piece by bloody piece. And he would sent Ruby's head to Crowley for him to mount on a wall. He hated that bitch almost as much as Dean did, and she still kept trying to slink into their group.

He knew the demon could use a good laugh.

"Calm down Dean. You're agitated enough after what happened to Cas, if you went after Sam in that state you might accidentally hurt him," said Gabriel.

Dean slowly tried to regain control over his dragon. It was already riled up enough after Castiel was injured. He didn't need to loose complete control now.

Dean felt someone slip their hand into his. He didn't have to look to know it was Castiel trying to calm him down.

Even after the torture he was put through, he was still the same angel. The only difference was that he was very vulnerable at the moment and still needed time to heal. Time and having someone who wouldn't push him too far.

"First things first. Cas, can you find Sam? If I'm going to go tearing into something, I want to know where it is," asked Dean, starting to simmer down and _think_.

Castiel nodded, always eager to be useful. While his grace was still recovering, he was relatively useless to have on a hunt. But Dean didn't care about that. He found little ways for Castiel to be useful and never made him feel like he was a burden. Not like Uriel or the other angels had.

"Find who?"

"Sam!" Dean practically pounced on his brother and Gabriel wasn't far behind.

Sam rolled his eyes, though he noted Castiel's disappointment.

"How did you..."

"Blame Crowley. Apparently he hacked the telepathic connection we keep forgetting to close and told me how to get out of a demon trap. Should have heard Lilith shriek at Ruby when she realized I had slipped out without her knowing," said Sam smiling.

"How do you know that?" asked Lucifer. Sam hooked at thumb outside. There, in the yard, was a massive tunnel.

Dean started laughing.

"You pulled a Bugs on their ass?"

Sam ducked his head sheepishly.

"I pulled a Bugs."

Sam didn't use his creature form often, but when he did they called it a "Bugs". It was mostly for emergencies or doing a _Looney Tunes _skit with Dean playing Daffy.

"Way to go Sammy!"

"I might have also burned down an old church on the way out."

"You what now?" said the angels in unison.

Sam rolled his eyes.

"I burned Ruby and Lilith in the church after making sure to salt the windows. It was abandoned and the only ones there were me and the demons, so I figured why not? Hell, I even made sure no one else was in there by asking Mort!" said Sam.

"What did you use?" asked Gabriel, morbidly curious.

"Holy oil, what else? That way the angels couldn't put the damn thing out before those demons died, and I was semi-sure it would kill them. Or at least hurt them pretty damn bad," said Sam.

"Holy oil can affect demons too. I made sure of that," said Lucifer quietly.

It was something he had deliberately put in his creations. If only to insure that they didn't try to use it on angels.

"So...Lilith is dead?"

Castiel, the only one who stayed tuned into heaven brought out his mirror and scryed for the information they needed.

"She's dead alright, but heaven is in an uproar because the lock didn't fail on the cage. They want to know what is going wrong so Lucifer can be free."

The angels wanted Lucifer out to restart the war. So the fact the first demon died and the cage still held was worrying them. They wanted to know how to fix it.

"In the meantime, let's get some sleep. I'll set the holy oil barrier," said Dean.

Castiel had trouble sleeping without it. And while it made Lucifer and Gabriel uncomfortable, they put up with it.

* * *

Crowley waited for Dean to put out the barrier before he came in. He didn't spare more than a glance at Lucifer, who was drinking his coffee.

"Well whatever the hell you did to Lilith Sasquatch, it did a number on her and that bitch Ruby. I currently have pieces of their meat sacks on my mantle as a trophy," he said bluntly. Sam winced.

"How bad?"

"Let me put it this way. Between the Moose and you, the Moose probably did it with more agony and less fun," he deadpanned.

Dean snorted. In short he would have been humming while they screamed, whereas Sam would have nightmares of it.

"So any idea how the pit's reacting to the fact she's dead?"

"I have a list of higher demons. The more you take out, the happier I get," deadpanned Crowley.

"Crowley, how are the demons reacting to her death?"

"Confused mostly. Though some have started to notice he's not even in the cage, so they might come up anyway. It's a toss up at this point. Now feed me or else," said Crowley.

Crowley had come by when Dean was cooking, and had been brave enough to try it out. Needless to say he was hooked on first bite, so every time he came by with information he demanded food. Specifically Dean's cooking.

Dean rolled his eyes and started making the scrambled egg recipe he picked up. Crowley took one bite and nearly choked in shock.

"What?" asked Dean irritated.

"I didn't want to believe it. I had thought it was a joke of a rumor they spread for a laugh. You really ended up with that group while dead drunk? And still got the recipe for salt-less eggs?!" said Crowley in shock.

"Oh, you mean the gay-demon orgy. I have pictures of Sam's face when I told him where I got it!" said Dean grinning evilly.

"To be fair, Mort supplied him with Asgardian Mead. I'm still amazed he can drink four shots of it without imploding," chirped Gabriel.

"It would appear I owe a group of demons an apology and a round of drinks," said Crowley, eating his breakfast. He was among many who hadn't believed that particular group of demons about the story of Dean Winchester joining them in one of their seasonal orgies. They did it to celebrate every season. Summer, spring, fall and winter.

"If you see Paul again, give him these. Tell him it's thanks for that recipe he shared," said Dean cheerfully.

It was a few recipes he had made that went great without salt.

Crowley put them in his pocket to pass along.

* * *

_In Ohio..._

"What do you want Crowley? Here to call us liars again?" asked Paul. He was sipping some fruity drink Crowley didn't care to know the name of.

"Actually I came to pass these on. The next rounds on me," he said flatly.

Paul looked at the cards.

"What are these?"

"Recipes cards courtesy of Dean Harvelle. See, he dropped his father's last name years ago after they found out he had a third son."

"So you believe us now?"

"He has your egg recipe," deadpanned Crowley, "Hell he took pictures of his brother's reaction when he finally told them how he got the recipe."

Paul looked amused. Crowley produced the pictures.

"His brother a homophobe or something?"

"More along the lines of Dean knew how to make him embarrassed. Sam's dating Loki," said Crowley flatly, ordering a drink.

Paul looked through the pictures, his amusement growing with each one.

"Ah yes, the duty of older siblings everywhere to embarrass the younger generation just because they can."

"Oh, and Dean said you have a standing invitation to swap recipes at their favorite restaurant so long as you don't start a fight over the others. They have an pair of angels who frequently stick around them but they can learn to ignore you."

Paul looked openly amused.

"Is this a trick?" he asked.

"Not really. I regularly have tea with Dean at a cafe to swap information. He'll trust the information, he just won't trust you," said Crowley flatly.

"Smart man. Great in the sack though," said Paul.

"Do not need to hear it. At least not without his brother around to mortify with details," said Crowley. Sam was hilarious to tease, and it was one of the few things he could do to the Moose without worrying about his pagan-angel guard dog biting his head off. Hell, Loki joined in!

Paul snorted.

* * *

"What."

"I think someone let the Horsemen out. I just felt War's power acting up in some no name town," said Lucifer.

Under normal circumstances he would be pleased. He might even work a way to bring Death out. However after getting to know Dean and finding a strange sort of family with him and his brother that had been missing since leaving heaven, he was loath to ruin it. Besides, if Death wanted out, he would be. He had more freedom than Lucifer did since Potter completed the Hallows and wasn't turned into a reaper.

"Great. Just fantastic. So what do we do?"

"Take the ring, end his effect. But don't ask Mort because if you do he'll know his brother was around in an instant and call him on it after."

"Great. We have to deal with that nonsense..." said Dean tiredly.

"By the way, I finally got Castiel to spill on who tortured him. There were four angels there."

Dean's eyes took a sharp glint as they slitted.

"Who are they?"

"Zachariah, Annadriel, Uriel and Raphael. Apparently Annadriel was sent to Earth deliberately not to learn more about humans, but to act as a fail safe in the event you knew something they didn't want you to know. Like the fact I was out and about, or the fact Lilith is the final seal. She was pretty pissed off about the Castiel choosing you over heaven for some reason. Or she hurt him over the fact he allowed you to tamper with her ability to report to heaven."

"So we have three angels who are doomed to die, and one overdue for a major asskicking. Would you like to watch the last one?"

"If the angel in question is Micheal, absolutely," deadpanned Lucifer. That would be fun to watch, and he would be laughing the entire time.

* * *

Dean looked at the broken bridge and grimaced.

"I think this is where we either walk or ride," he said.

"Ride," said Sam immediately.

Dean grinned.

"Hold on tight Sammy! Bear, you stay with the car. This shouldn't take too long."

Bear barked, and the two pugs barked with him. They were used to guard duty.

Dean shifted to dragon form and took off. He was big enough for Sam to ride on his front claws, but not so big as to block out the sun immediately.

Ellen spotted them the second they came near main street.

_Damn Sammy, something stinks around here!_

_Use that dragon nose of yours to find War, so we can leave. The less blood is shed, the happier I'll be._

Sam still had nightmares of Ruby and Lilith screaming. The only reason he was able to sleep at night was because Gabriel kept his wings around his boyfriend, keeping the nightmares at bay.

Dean grimaced the closer he got to the source of the smell. He would rather deal with Bear's gas problem than this.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Something stinks to high heaven in here," complained Dean. He let his nose lead him to the source, if only to get some relief.

There was an older gentleman in the back looking at him oddly. Then again, everyone was giving Dean strange looks.

"Oh dear Loki, I smell it too. What is that?" said Sam, holding his nose.

"Gunpowder and blood," said Dean after a moment. No wonder it was making him nauseous.

The closer he got to the gentleman, the worse it got. Then he spotted the heavy ring on the man's hand.

"Found you. That ring is what's causing that stench," said Dean in a sing-song voice.

The gentleman laughed coldly.

"I suppose I should have cloaked it. Then again big brother never mentioned his current Hand had a dragon's nose," said War.

"If I hadn't smelled it, Bear sure as hell would have. Besides, this way you get to watch the angels get their asses kicked for being such douchebags without having to listen to their orders," said Dean.

"Good point. Happy hunting, Harvelle," said War, handing over his ring. He vanished without a trace.

"What the hell have you gotten us into this time boy?" demanded Ellen.

"Long story short, above and below are wanting Micheal and Lucifer to duke it out, and Sam here killed Lilith. Though we threw a major wrench in the things early. Neither side has any idea what's about to happen and I plan on keepin' it that way," said Dean proudly.

Ellen took three quick steps and slapped both brothers on the head. They took the punishment they were due.


	32. Chapter 32

"Oh god my aching head..." said Dean. He had gone to sleep with Bear in the car (mostly because the hotel refused to let any animals in and he would rather have his car in one piece) and woken up in some shady hell hole. The weird thing was that the place looked like the hotel he had gone to sleep in, only run down until it was almost unrecognizable.

He remembered falling asleep. Then there was the sudden waking up to the sensation of an unfamiliar angel in the room. Whoever it was had to be powerful...they got the drop on him and did something before he had a chance to react properly after flaring his magic at them. The only ones who didn't stumble when he did that were Gabriel, Luc and Castiel now that he was used to the flaring.

And now he had a bitch of a headache.

He was going to kill whoever did this stunt.

Dean reached into his bag to pull out an all-purpose healing potion. Or as Gabriel flippantly put it, a full system purge potion. He downed one of the vials he had of it (he kept that well stocked for good reason) and felt a thousand times better.

Now that he could see straight without his head killing him, he sent out a series of pings along the telepathic connections he had made. There was only one hit, and it didn't feel right.

Something was wrong with Castiel. He took one look outside at the city he was in and grimaced. He was not walking through something that looked like it had been on the wrong end of a zombie apocalypse.

He went to the roof instead and shifted into Godzilla. He could reach Castiel faster that way.

* * *

Castiel felt like shit. His day had started out normally. Pop in a few pills, raid the well guarded alcohol stash, and try not to kill himself.

Then something strange happened that changed his routine. He felt something brush up against his mind. He sent a curious push back.

Something felt it. He could sense something coming his way. Something big.

Castiel left the 'house' he made his own and went to find Dean.

"What is it Cas?" he asked. He was not in a good mood, but he never was these days.

"Something is heading this way."

Dean went on alert instantly.

"Any idea what it is?"

"Not Lucifer. It brushed up against my mental shields, but it didn't feel like the Morning Star. Actually, it felt like you, which is odd."

"Me?" Dean repeated.

Suddenly the guards shouted in alarm as something big flew over the camp. It did a sort of loop before it doubled back, and started to shrink. Castiel wasn't the only one staring.

"A _dragon_?" said Dean incredulous.

Castiel felt something brush up against his grace. He pushed back, and it gently nudged him. It felt...nice. Almost comforting. He desperately wanted to curl up against that feeling. It was better than heaven had been.

The dragon landed, shrinking so it could fit the clearing better. It looked right at Cas and nudged his mental shields, as if asking him to translate. He opened them up and felt the most protective and caring soul he had ever met.

"He wants to know your name and what the year is," translated Castiel.

Dean looked at Cas oddly.

"You can hear it?"

"He's highly telepathic and the reason he came here was because I was the only one to answer his call."

"Dean Winchester. The year's 2014."

The dragon growled angrily.

Castiel acted as the dragon's voice, not bothering to censore what it said.

"'A fucking _Winchester_? What messed up future did that asshole angel drop me in?!'"

Dean looked at the dragon in disbelief.

"An angel?"

"'Seraph or higher, probably getting back because I killed Zachariah for torturing Castiel. If you're here then where's Sam?'"

"Who the hell are you?"

The dragon snorted.

"'Dean Harvelle. Dropped the Winchester name after one too many screw ups from the sperm donor. If you try to shoot me I'll kick your ass,'" translated Castiel.

The dragon's wings enveloped it, before they broke apart revealing...a slightly younger Dean?

"Okay, how the fuck did you screw everything up that there are demons running rampant around here? And what the hell did you do to Sam that would make him run?" demanded his other self.

Dean looked at the alternate version of him like he had a second head.

"I'm seriously confused."

Castiel was the one to clear it up.

"This is not you from the past. This is an alternate dumped here by an angel. He has natural magic, and a lot of it," said Cas.

"Probably an arch angel, knowing my luck. The fact he didn't stumble when I flared my magic at him was a big tip off. Now what the hell happened?"

"Sam said yes to Lucifer. Set off the Croatoan virus, resulting in infected everywhere. Cas was the only angel to stick with us, and now he's stuck on Earth."

Harvelle (and Dean decided to just call him that to avoid confusion) pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Cas wasn't the only angel on Earth dumbass. Has Loki tried to contact you?"

Dean's face contorted in anger.

"Asshole tried to buddy up to me about a year after, but I kicked his ass to the curb. I don't care how screwed up he looked, he deserved it after the crap he put us through."

He wasn't expecting the punch to the face.

"You threw Loki out? Are you an idjit?!"

"So what if I threw a pagan out?"

"Loki's an _angel_ you moron! He must have trusted you a little bit if he was willing to ask you for help, and you cast him aside!"

Dean stared.

"That asshole is an angel?"

Harvelle was about to bite his head off, when he tilted his head as if hearing something.

"Looks like you're about to find out soon enough," he said cryptically.

* * *

Gabriel felt like shit, and it was only getting worse. His wings were in tatters, his grace was in shreds. He was barely able to keep his vessel from being destroyed just trying to contain him.

So when he felt the presence of someone not infected, and worse, clearly a powerful natural magical, he started to panic. He didn't want to be bound to a witch!

"Sweet mother of god... Gabriel, what happened to you?"

Gabriel barely recognized the voice. What was Sam Winchester doing here? More importantly why didn't he sense Lucifer inside of him?

Sam tried to come closer, but he backed away as far as he could considering how much pain he was in. Sam and his dog...since when did he have a dog?... didn't come any closer.

As if things could get more confusing, Sam started humming something.

It took a few moments for him to realize he was humming something in Enochian. When did the Moose learn his native tongue? Gabriel relaxed without meaning to. Then he felt something gently brush against his mind. He didn't want anyone in, but the feeling was so warm he let the shields down anyway.

_Easy Gabe, I'm not going to hurt you. What happened to you?_

Gabriel nearly jumped. Since when did Sam Winchester know how to use telepathy? And where the hell did he found out Loki was Gabriel? He never told them! Sensing his panic, Sam sent a fresh wave of his magic around Gabriel. The arch angel calmed down slightly, feeling the love and gentle nature of it.

His Gabriel had always said Sam's magic made him feel warm and fuzzy...which was ironic because that was how he felt about Gabriel's wings around him.

Sam kept up the humming through telepathy as he shifted to his unicorn form. Gabriel's eyes doubled in size.

It took little coaxing for the angel to curl up against his animal form. Clearly that was all the proof he needed that Sam wasn't going to hurt him. The arch angel wept as he clutched Sam's black main. Sam nuzzled him and sent healing waves of magic towards Gabriel's wings, which bleed.

Bear took point and guarded them. When Dean wasn't around, Sam was Bear's secondary Alpha. Gabriel hugged the dog when it came close, and Bear let him, recognizing his scent.

_Gabriel, how bad is your vessel at the moment? Can you hold it long enough to ride or do you need to get a new one?_

_**I'm barely holding it together as it **_**is****_._**

Sam made a split second decision. His Gabriel would probably kick his ass, but if it meant keeping his alternate alive he would deal with it. Besides, he could always get Dean to bribe him back into a better mood with pie.

_Gabriel you can use my body as a vessel. At least until we can get you better again._

_**I thought you were Lucifer's vessel?**_

_Wrong Sam. Though from that I can only guess Lucifer got out and forced your version of Sam to say yes. I only came to this Earth to look for my Dean...an arch angel was near him and Mort told me to go look for where the idjit went. Bear's just here to track him down._

Sam could feel Gabriel's vessel break down, and something enter his body. Instead of taking full control, Gabriel seemed to hug Sam's magical core like a teddy bear.

He didn't know angels could let their vessels have control. Sam nudged Gabriel with his mind, as if to give him a hug. He could feel Gabriel slowly calm down and fall asleep enveloped in his magic.

Sam looked at Bear in his unicorn form. He got up and started walking to the door. Bear took the hint without being told. They had been seeking Dean when Sam caught Gabriel's distress signal. The only reason Bear had detoured from Dean's magic was because he could sense Dean was fine...but Gabriel sure as hell wasn't.

Sam was glad Bear was so well trained. He never would have found the angel until it was far too late, and maybe not even then.

He took off at a full gallop, matching Bear's long strides with ease. As a hellhound crossbreed, Bear could go for miles once he had the scent. Especially when he was on the hunt.

It took them several hours and very few breaks, but eventually they found a camp. Bear let out a series of barks. A warning sign for Dean that he was nearby so he didn't get shot in the event Dean was on a hunt. Sam let out a loud cry, alerting his brother he was with the dog.

_All clear Sammy. Bring Bear here before I shoot someone._

Sam lead the dog into the camp, ignoring the people with guns. Unicorns had a natural ability to avoid being seen. It came with the limited amount of healing powers...or in the case of a black unicorn like Sam, shields.

Black unicorns were prized above all others not because they rarer than the silver breed, which were relatively easy to find if you knew what you were doing, but because they were protectors of the herd. Black unicorns could kill people and purge the taint. Silver ones couldn't do that and had to rely on their blood to keep them safe. And a black unicorn was always the herd leader. Always.

He spotted his Dean pretty fast. He was the only one looking right at him while his double was looking for the source of the barking.

Sam dropped his cloak the second he got to his brother.

_Do you have any idea how pissed Mort was when you vanished? He woke me and Gabriel up out of a sound sleep!_

Dean laughed...right up until he noticed the addition to Sam's soul.

"Sammy, who the hell did you pick up?"

Sam shifted back to human.

"I found Loki. He was nearly dead."

"You do realize he'll be pissed you picked up an angel right?" said Dean raising an eyebrow.

"He'll have to deal with it. I'm not about to let his alternate die just because he might have a problem with it. Now what the hell is going on around here?"

"This moron screwed things up, and your alternate has Luc running around using him as a meat sack. We could fly back now...but frankly the idea of leaving a Winchester to clean up his own mess makes my skin crawl," said Dean flatly.

"Winchester? That...explains a lot."

"What exactly do you people have against the name Winchester?" his double demanded.

"John damn near killed Dean when he was kids. We barely escaped to the Roadhouse before he had a chance to succeed. Ellen raised us with help from Bobby. Finding out about Adam was the last straw. As far as we're concerned, we're Harvelles, not Winchesters," said Sam flatly.


	33. Chapter 33

Castiel was curled up against Harvelle and his dog. Dean was still in shock Loki was in fact _Gabriel_ in hiding, and that Sam Harvelle had been able to find them with the dog. Castiel was just glad the Harvelles didn't mind if he hung around them like a broken dog eager to be loved.

Harvelle wrapped his magic around Castiel, and it felt wonderful. He would come crawling back no matter how badly this Dean treated him, if only to feel it again. He knew he had become more addicted to it than any drug or drink.

Even Dean had commented on how eager Cas was around the other one. It clearly annoyed him very much, but he didn't dare admit it did.

Harvelle curled his metaphysical dragon wing around Castiel's shredded ones. He purred and curled closer into it. There was something about this Dean that drew you in and kept you close. Sam rolled over and faced his brother. Castiel could feel Gabriel come to the forefront and curl into the wing as well.

To his disappointment, the sun started to rise and hit Dean right in the face. He wished it would go away so he could stay curled up a little longer.

Harvelle grunted in annoyance.

"I hate mornings," he said, waking up.

He noticed Castiel was curled up around him like some sort of cat, and smiled. Cas' heart did a flip. Then suddenly so did his body as he fell a few feet into Dean's hands.

He blinked. What was that? Dean chuckled and conjured a mirror. He was a cat?

_I noticed you weren't too eager to quit cuddling, so I turned your human vessel into a cat for the moment. That way you can stay curled up in my pocket._

Castiel purred. That sounded like the perfect solution to his problem. Then he looked at the hell hound.

_Relax. Bear knows you're not a threat so he'll mostly ignore you. He's not one of those dogs who chases cats and cars._

Dean put Cas' form on his shoulder, and the tail immediately curled around his neck while Castiel draped himself like some sort of scarf. Sam took one look at the picture it made and snorted in amusement.

"Think Gabe would like to be a golden retriever?" he asked innocently.

That nearly set Sam off laughing.

"He's just happy that I let him use me until his wings recover. He doesn't know what to think of _nice_ Dean and Sam."

Dean grimaced.

Winchester was an asshole...pretty much John two point oh with none of the redeeming qualities.

Not only had he abandoned Sam when he needed his brother the most, he also didn't try to work things out properly. The Winchesters just bulldozed their way into things without any real finesse and when things went to shit they didn't even had the decency to admit they were to blame. In short, not someone Dean would trust with his life.

Hell, everyone nearly shot Sam when they saw him, believing him to be Lucifer. If he hadn't immediately turned into Bugs and dove underground, they would have shot him.

"So when can we go home?" asked Sam.

"After we clean up the Winchesters mess. I'm not leaving the angels here either. How would Gabriel feel if we were to drag Micheal's sorry ass out of heaven and make him deal with this shit?"

"Hell, how would Luc react if we dumped both of them on another plain to get this nonsense over with?" snorted Sam.

Dean grinned. He could agree to that, seeing as how he was the only one who could pull that off. Gabriel perked up when he heard the name Micheal, and when Sam sent him an image of what they planned to do, he started laughing...though Sam could feel the pain in Gabriel's grace.

Micheal had done a number on him, denying him reentry into heaven and then throwing him out.

Sam hugged Gabriel with his magic, causing the arch angel to curl up closer to him mentally. It broke Sam's heart to see Gabriel like this.

Out of all the arch angels, Gabriel was the biggest child. He might act adult occasionally, but most of the time he was just a big kid. It was something Sam liked about him, and why he humored the angel.

Dean reached out with his magic, taking a wing and curling it around Gabriel. The angel snuggled against it, taking comfort from the presence he gave off naturally to those he liked.

Winchester came into the room. He didn't like Dean, probably because Dean pointed a spotlight on all his failings without trying. Even the people inside the camp preferred Dean Harvelle to Dean Winchester. Harvelle cared about his team. Winchester used them until they weren't good for anything anymore.

"We've got a lead on Lucifer. We're going in and ending this."

"With what?" said Dean.

Winchester held out the hilt of the Colt. Dean snorted derisively.

"Good way to get everyone killed idiot. The Colt won't do jack shit against Lucifer except piss him off. It only works on demons, not angels."

"What?" said Winchester startled.

"Lucifer is an_ angel_. One of the first angels. Very few things would affect him and the Colt isn't one of them. You'd be better off throwing holy oil on him and lighting him on fire than trying to shoot him," said Sam.

Dean suddenly had an evil idea. One that appealed to him greatly and would be great practice for when he went after his own demons.

"How about this. You hold off until we have a better way to deal with Lucifer, and I drag Micheal's feathered ass down here for you to use as your own punting toy?"

Winchester's eyes glinted. There was the old prankster spark Dean knew he had.

"You can bring Micheal here?"

"I'd have to contact someone to give him a vessel that will feel pain, but I could probably drag his ass down. Then we can throw Lucy and Mikey somewhere else to get their spat over with. We're not leaving until we clean up this mess, otherwise it would bug the hell out of me."

"Don't you have to talk to Chuck about dispersing the goods you conjure up?"

Dean snorted at the subtle way Sam brought up Chuck. Chuck had, upon learning Dean Harvelle could conjure toilet paper and clean water, practically broken down in relief. Dean had to go by and conjure up a whole mess of TP rolls for the man to pass around. Who knew toilet paper would be a hot commodity item in an apocalypse?

* * *

"You want me to _what?_" said Chuck baffled.

"You heard me. I want Micheal to have a physical body that feels actual pain and won't be able to shrug off a bullet wound or five. And please, don't try hiding your real identity to me. I can see souls and I outed you last time when we first met. I know Death, and he will be happy to confirm it if I have to summon him," said Dean bluntly.

Chuck, no God, slumped.

"You're not going to tell Winchester are you?"

"If he can't think to ask Castiel if Loki is worth keeping around long enough for him to find out he's really an angel, I'm not about to out you to him. Consider me a neutral party who doesn't drag people into his own mess without a damn good reason," said Dean.

"So you're going to drag Micheal out of heaven?"

"Godzilla's pissed as hell about what happened to Gabriel, and it'll be good practice for when we go home. I'll get Sam's soul out of that meat suit Lucifer's hauling around and then throw those idiots into another plain to duke it out if they want. It's messed up enough around here without having to deal with that aftermath," said Dean.

God nodded.

"I can give Sam a second body, but I don't think he'll want anything to do with Dean after what happened."

"Who said he'll have to stick around here? We're planning on takin' Gabe and Cas with us. No way in hell am I leaving them here after the mess everyone made. Better to make a clean break where I know they'll heal than leave them here," said Dean.

Chuck nodded. It would be better for all involved if the two angels assisting those cleaning out the cancer currently festering in this Earth were removed and kept out of harms way. This Dean clearly cared more about his people than Winchester did, and everyone could tell without being told.

"Just so we're clear here, Micheal's body has to be able to _feel_ the pain even after the wound itself is healed. I don't want to kill him just yet, but I want him to know the damage he's caused by being so damn stupid."

"Fair enough. I can give Sam Winchester a new body as well, so he doesn't have to feel disgusted with his own body," said Chuck.

"I'll get the soul when I send Lucifer off with Micheal."

Chuck nodded. He could see what this man really was, and knew Dean would keep his word about not mentioning his true nature to the others.

* * *

Gabriel was giddy. Micheal was going to be in a lot of pain and Dean had promised to make his older brother feel _everything _he went through since Micheal threw Gabriel out of heaven. It was about time Micheal answered for that. But the best part. The absolutely _best_ part in his mind was that Dean had offered to take Gabriel with them when they left. He hadn't bothered to ask Castiel, because anyone could see where Dean Harvelle went, Castiel would follow like a loyal dog.

Gabriel directed Dean to where Micheal was, following his grace like a tracking beacon. Micheal didn't even notice it until far too late when Dean's dragon fire broke through heaven's floor and sent him tumbling down to the Earth. The floor sealed off immediately once the body fell, and there was no way Micheal would be able to convince the angels in charge of the gates that it was him. At least not for a few centuries. Heaven was big after all.

Dean felt the vessel form around Micheal the closer he got to Earth. It was about a hundred miles away, but he still felt it. He would be in for a rude surprise once he touched Earth, because Dean hadn't told Chuck to shield Micheal from Lucifer. They wouldn't be the only ones feeling it.

Demons would be attracted to an arch angel like flies to honey...and once they realized it was _Micheal_... well, he would have a hell of time getting away from the damn things.

And to add insult to injury, Dean had set a signal for Micheal to notice and follow. He would come straight to him demanding he pay for dragging the angel out of heaven...and Winchester would be waiting with several shotguns full of ammo ready to shoot him with. Preferably in the ass, in both cheeks. With cameras waiting.

"Is it done?" asked Winchester. He looked _very_ eager. Dean couldn't exactly blame him.

"Micheal's out of heaven and I'd love to see him explain to the guys guarding the gates how he fell out without looking like an idiot. There aren't many dragons who can get into heaven with just their fire, and most of those who could wouldn't be able to make him a vessel upon impact."

Winchester had an evil grin on his face. It was about time he got some damn payback.

* * *

It took Micheal three days and more demon attacks then he could care to count, but eventually he found the one who forced him to fall from heaven. And he was _pissed_.

Dean Harvelle grinned like an idiot while Dean Winchester shot the crap out of Micheal. The wounds healed fast, almost immediately, but the pain lingered.

His little...gift...to Micheal.

Micheal focused entirely on Harvelle.

"What did do to me, you damn human?!"

"Believe me, this is nothing compared to what your dear old dad would have done if he had a chance to. Free will might have tied his hands about your little spat with Lucifer, but it was free will that gave him the chance to redeem you. You screwed up Micheal, big time," smirked Dean.

"God died a long time ago," snarled Micheal.

"Actually he did what Gabriel did. He left and went into hiding. Fortunately I figured out who he was, but I'm not outing him. You about done Winchester?"

"The ammo's almost out. I'll be done then," said Winchester grinning coldly. It felt good to put slugs in the arrogant arch angel's ass.

Harvelle grinned.

"Didn't I tell you? I charmed those things to have unlimited ammo."

Dean Winchester's face lit up.

"A few more rounds. Then you can have him to play with. Payback's a bitch Micheal, I hope you realize that."

Micheal found Dean Harvelle next to his brother. It didn't take long for him to realize who was in Sam.

"Gabriel. I hope you learned your lesson about loyalty _brother_," he snarled.

Sam's eyes shifted from a light grass green to golden amber in an instant. Gabriel was in control and he was furious.

"Actually Dean needed me to be close so you can get the next stage of your punishment," said Gabriel.

"Punishment? What crime have I committed to deserve this?" demanded Micheal.

"You have no idea, do you. You sit up there on your high horse all the damn time and never once look at the smaller picture. Death have me, you're as bad as Dumbledore was!"

Micheal looked at Dean oddly.

"Why would you know Albus Dumbledore?"

Dean's eyes flashed emerald. A sight Micheal recognized without being told.

"Potter. Just because you didn't like the destiny heaven sent you, you have to punish an angel?" he sneered.

Dean looked at Gabriel in Sam's body.

"Just out of curiosity, is he still alive in this alternate?"

"He was in England. Last I heard he was still weeping over the death of his wife and children to demons."

"Wonder how he would react when I tell him he can have his godfather back for free," said Dean casually.

Sirius would be thrilled to have _Harry_ back, and he knew Harry would be happy to see his godfather alive again. Out of everyone in England, Sirius had been one of the few who actually cared for him. Even if he did mistake him for James more than once.

Dean pressed his hand on his brother's head, extracting the memories Gabriel was giving him. Since Micheal had no idea what he was doing, he didn't try to dodge it when Dean sent them his way.

Micheal bent over in absolute agony. The memories alone wouldn't have harmed him. But Dean had included Gabriel's pain magnified a thousand times. Each wound, each injury increased past the way Gabriel had felt. He was having trouble even _breathing,_ let alone standing up.

"We Harvelles follow a simple code when it comes to family and friends we trust. Ohana. We never leave a man behind or forget about them, no matter _how_ far they've fallen. Perhaps you should take a nice long look at yourself and try putting yourself in Gabriel's shoes. He was your baby brother and you let him down. You cast him aside when he needed you. And this is your punishment. Every time you try to hurt your family, this pain and the memories will come back," said Dean calmly, like he was discussing the weather.

Micheal glared at him.

"And by the way, your Dad approved of the punishment before we dragged you out of heaven. He's pissed at you for throwing Gabriel out when he hadn't fallen," said Sam coldly.


	34. Chapter 34

Harry Potter was a broken soul. His wife, the children he always treated as his even when the truth came out Ginny had cheated on him, even what few friends who had stood beside him...all dead. To make matters worse he was hounded by the same demons who killed them.

So when a massive black dragon appeared, he welcomed it with open arms hoping for Death.

"Damn. Now I get why he chose to reincarnate rather than stick around," commented the man the dragon shared a body with. His eyes were the exact same shade as his own, but his hair was cut short.

Harry felt himself swept up in a massive bear hug. The magic that thrummed in the body holding him almost made him weep. It was so warm and caring. He could feel tears falling from his face regardless.

"Easy. We're not here to hurt you. We're here to give you a second chance," said the voice of the one holding him. He curled into that embrace and just cried.

These two hadn't told him their intentions, but his core could tell they were only there to heal, not harm. Harry felt the dragon animagus put his hand on his head. There was so much warmth and protective feelings that he relaxed.

"Damn. I hope Chuck can revert his age so he can heal properly, not just cope."

Harry felt himself taken to the skies. No matter what hell he dealt with on the earth, he always felt them lift away when he was flying.

The arms kept him steady on the back of the massive dragon, which he had to admit was awesome. The last time he rode a dragon, it wasn't nearly as fun.

* * *

Chuck took one look at the unconscious form of the Master of Death and then at Dean Harvelle.

"I am not messing with Death's hand," said Chuck.

"Actually we were just wondering if you could de-age him for us. I have no idea how to do it and I doubt Mort will notice so long as I'm the one messing with his memories."

Chuck sighed, and with a touch de-aged Harry by about fifteen years. He was twenty-one again, which was how young he could make him without Death taking notice. Dean took most of the worst memories and put them in a vial so Harry could regain them later once he was up to it.

Unfortunately that attracted Death's attention. He was not pleased someone was tampering with his Master.

Death took one look at the out-cold Harry Potter, then at Dean.

Before he could say a word, Dean beat him to it.

"I am not interested in the Hallows, and no we are not planning to use him to get to you. Before you ask, yes I know who you are and frankly I don't care. All I want to do is heal him," said Dean.

Death gave Dean an odd look.

"**You don't belong here. I can tell you can leave any time, so why haven't you returned home already?"**

Dean gave him a winning grin.

_Because, Death, I am going to clean up this mess before I leave. The idea of leaving a damn Winchester to clean up their mess is so horrifying that I couldn't possibly do it._

Death looked shocked.

_**How can you use telepathy?!**_

Dean held out his hand, entirely unafraid. Death took it and read his soul. Understanding came into his eyes.

"**I see. You are my Master from another alternate, one with enough sense not to use me as a tool. I will allow you to take the man, but the Hallows must remain here."**

"Ah, but we no longer _have_ the Hallows in our world. I became your hand without having them as a conduit," countered Dean.

Death had seen that. He had never thought anyone could become his Master without those blasted items.

"Plus there's the fact that without them, you can take a nice long break from having to deal with people trying to become your next Master after this mess," said Sam.

Death nodded. Not having to deal with a Master for a while would be nice.

"**Just send them back when you're about to die. Fair?"**

"Will do~!" said Dean. That was something he could agree with.

* * *

Lucifer was annoyed. He had felt Micheal falling from Heaven, but still in full possession of his Grace. Someone had forced the angel out, but he had no idea _who._

And anyone that powerful had to be on his side or else he would kill them. So he sent his demons out to find out the one who was responsible and to bring Micheal to him. There was nothing for a full _month_. That was completely unacceptable.

He was about to punish the newest batch of searchers when he felt something behind him. Turning, he found a bored looking Dean Winchester. Only there was something wrong about Dean.

For example, how in his Father's name did Winchester slip past the countless demons without him knowing about it?

"Hello Luc. See I got tired of torturing Micheal, so I figured it was about time to deal with you. And here's the kicker...your dear old dad was more than happy to insure both of you get this particular message drummed into your rather thick skulls. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

Lucifer sneered at him.

"Oh good. I prefer the hard way when it comes to angels anyway. But before I get to your punishment, I have to deal with the other small problem first," said Dean.

He walked right up to Lucifer...and then stuck his hand right where the heart would be. Lucifer felt something being grabbed and then removed as Dean took his hand out.

It felt like the man had suckerpunched him in his grace. This was not Dean Winchester.

The man who looked like Dean looked at what was clearly a human soul. He whistled lowly.

"Dear Death, this asshole did a real number on you Sam," he said to himself. He put Sam Winchester's soul in some sort of pendant and then put it around his neck. Then he looked at a very terrified looking Lucifer. He took his right hand and touched Lucifer's head, and then his heart. Lucifer could feel something attaching to his grace.

"What...what did you do to me? What are you?"

"Me? I'm Dean Harvelle, Death's Mortal Hand. As for what I did...think of this as negative reinforcement to get the message through to you and Micheal. Brothers are supposed to _love_ and _support_ each other, not try to kill each other over the new kid in the house. Let's see how long it takes for the lesson to stick," he said far too cheerfully.

Lucifer felt a presence behind him. It was one he hadn't felt in so many years.

Behind him was the Prophet...but this wasn't Chuck. This was God and he was disappointed.

"_**I could not interfere with the fight. But there's nothing that keeps me from moving it somewhere else. I can only hope you and Micheal figure out the message Dean here is trying to make."**_

"What message is that...Father?" he asked with dry mouth.

"Family is supposed to love and protect each other. The Harvelle family motto is 'Ohana'. Nobody gets left behind or forgotten. We'll save anyone who's part of our family no matter how fallen or lost they've become. We don't give up and allow them to stay hurting," said Dean Harvelle.

"_**Dean's message is that you two have to learn that it's okay to disagree, but starting a war over a small argument blown out of hand is not. I will be watching you both to see how long it takes you to break the seal,"**_ said God.

With a clap, Micheal and Lucifer were moved to another world. The second they saw each other, they tried to restart the fight. They didn't get far, because the memories of Gabriel's pain slammed into them both like a freight train. It took them a few more tries before they figured out the trigger.

* * *

It took Dean Harvelle a week to clean up the Croatoan virus. Apparently his all purpose purging potion worked just as well for the pit virus as it did on migraines. Some of the 'zombies' didn't live, being too far gone, but at least it cleansed the virus out.

"I can't believe the answer this whole time was a magical potion," said Dean Winchester.

"That and removing the source. Pestilence was pissed when we showed up, pinned his ass while Harry took off the ring. Death handed his over when we asked, and Famine? I kicked his ass to the curb," shrugged Harvelle.

"So this is really over?"

"Lucy and Mikey are getting...reeducated...on how brothers are supposed to act. Every time they try to rip each other's throat out, they'll feel the pain Gabriel felt watching his brothers try to destroy each other...and the damage they each inflicted on him multiplied. The more they try to kill each other, the stronger the pain gets."

"And Sam?" asked Winchester.

"Sam doesn't want anything to do with you. Not after the fact it was you telling him to get lost that lead to him being captured, tortured and then forced to act as Lucifer's vessel while the world was ruined. Safe to say you blew your chance to be his brother with that dick move," said Harvelle.

In fact Sam Winchester was sticking close to his alternate, his eyes haunted from the pain he had gone through the entire time. His hair was shorter and his eyes were a different shade, but it was still him. Dean Winchester felt a pang of disgust with himself after seeing the way his brother clung to his alternate.

"There's a reason why we quit being Winchesters when we were teenagers. Following John's lead is not the best idea."

"Is there any way to get his forgiveness?"

"Dude, Winchesters never forget, and I've yet to meet one that would forgive," said Harvelle flatly...before he added "You would have to do something to really prove to him you've changed. Until then he can stay with us until he's healed from the trauma."

Winchester looked ashamed of himself and his actions. He wanted his brother back...but after what happened he knew the chances of that were about the same as a snowball's chance of staying cold in the pit. He would have better luck just trying to clean up his mess then for Sam to forgive him.

Winchester was about to say something else when he heard something. It sounded like a missile of some sort.

"SAMMY! What in Dad's name were you thinking, leaving like that! I had to get Castiel to use his mirror just to find you!" said Loki, tackling Sam Harvelle.

"OOF! Gabe, get your ass off of me!" said Sam.

"Nuh-uh. Not until you make up for leaving me high and dry for two... Sammy...who exactly is riding shotgun?" asked Gabriel a little too sweetly. It gave Dean Winchester a shiver down his back, and he had the feeling he wasn't the only one intimidated by that tone.

Sam Harvelle rolled his eyes.

"Before you pitch a total bitch fit, take a look for yourself."

Gabriel reached his grace into Sam's soul...and nearly jumped off his boy toy as if he had been burned.

It was then that Gabriel seemed to notice the fact there were now two Dean and one extra Sam.

"Sammy...what the hell happened here?"

"Alternate Earth. Harry never made a deal with Death for a second chance. That idiot left his Sam behind after a run-in with War and he was captured by Luc and turned into the vessel. A pit virus ran loose and Dean was dragged here by an angel. He decided to clean the place up, which is why we haven't left," said Sam, summing up the situation.

"Where is Lucifer and Micheal anyway?"

"Immortal plain learning the hard way how brothers are supposed to act. Every time they try to kill each other, they feel the pain your alternate felt being forced to chose one over the other and the damage they dealt to him magnified. The more they fight, the worse the pain gets," said Dean helpfully.

Gabriel chuckled evilly.

"Nice. I take it we're bringing back a few extras?" he said rubbing his hands.

"You, Castiel, Harry and Sam here. Your alternate is pretty much tied into Sam because he's terrified of being cast aside after Sam saved him, and Cas is pretty much set on being a lazy cat," said Dean.

Said black cat purred at the feeling of Dean's hand on his head.

"That is hilarious," grinned Gabriel.

"Don't laugh just yet. Once your alternate is better we're turning him into a golden retriever," said Sam with a straight face. Sam Winchester choked back a laugh. He could see it.

"So how long until I drag you lot back home? Mort's getting more upset, Luc's driving us crazy and Cas is pining for his dragon," said Gabriel.

"Lucifer couldn't possibly be driving you crazy. You would have thrown him in a room with the overlord of darkness and forced him to suffer through that until he shut up," deadpanned Dean.

Dean and Sam Winchester choked.

"I'm Sirius here! He's bitching because the only one he likes talking to is you!" said Gabriel.

"Let me get this straight...in your Earth Lucifer is not only out...but you're _friends_ with him?"

"God gave him a choice. Either he was let out early and he learned to tolerate humanity...or he stayed in the cage until the seals were broken. Considering the first one never did, that meant he would have been stuck because neither above or below knew that I had slipped through the contract two months after it was made and didn't break the first seal," shrugged Dean Harvelle.

"You slipped through Hell?!" said Dean Winchester. Dean Harvelle shared his memories of Hell, including the reason _why_ he had been able to go in early and fill his end of the contract without being caught.

Dean Winchester had nightmares of hell. He couldn't believe that if his alternate had slipped through simply because of Death's gift.

"Besides... I had help," said Dean Harvelle, petting his dog. Bear barked.

"So how long until I drag your sorry butts home?" asked Gabriel.

"Give us another week. Then everyone can ride on Godzilla while I follow you back," said Dean Harvelle.

"Gotcha. Until then, I'm dragging my Sam someplace discreet to have my way with him. Ta~!"

"Bring back some Mead! I'm betting they left it unguarded since this mess started!" said Dean Harvelle. Gabriel nodded in agreement.

"Gabriel!" yelped Sam as his angel grabbed him and vanished.

"I swear he's a bigger kid than I am," snorted Dean Harvelle.


	35. Chapter 35

Castiel was the one to spot the group coming in via dragon. As such he was the first one out the door to hug the massive head in relief. He had been worried when Dean's presence vanished, and Gabriel had taken little convincing when, after Sam went to look for his brother, he had failed to return within a few weeks.

_Relax Cas. Sorry it took me so long to clean up the mess we found,_ said Dean. Castiel leaned into the wing Dean put around his body.

"Where were they?"

"An alternate Earth where Potter didn't ask Death for a second chance to live and Lucifer broke Sam into acting as his vessel. That Micheal and Lucifer are learning a pointed lesson on family," said Gabriel.

Castiel finally noticed Dean had more than just Sam and Bear on his back.

There was a second Sam, someone who looked like Harry Potter when he completed the Hallows, and a cat. It was the cat that drew his attention the most. It ran along Dean's spine and jumped onto Castiel's shoulders. The intense blue eyes that met his and he nearly yelped as memories not his own flooded his brain.

_Cas? You alright?_ Dean asked.

"You could have told me they brought _my_ alternate with you!" he hissed at Gabriel. Very much like an angry cat.

"Wasn't expecting that. Wonder what would happen if I came face to face with mine," said Gabriel. Sam glared at his boyfriend.

"Don't. You weren't there when I found him and there's no way I'm letting you feel those memories when it was enough to cripple Micheal _and_ Lucifer," said Sam flatly.

"Anyway, I'm going to drop Harry here with someone who can insure he actually gets better and give them a chance to go on dates. Be back love~!" said Gabriel, grabbing the green-eyed teen.

"Bet Sirius and Hel will be thrilled to have him," snorted Sam.

Castiel turned to Sam's alternate.

"So what should we call you?"

"Don't call me Winchester. After seeing what the Harvelles have I've lost any desire to be called by that name," said Sam Winchester flatly.

"I think you might as well go by Singer instead. You can change your first name too if you want," said Dean, stretching. Cas the cat jumped onto his shoulders almost protectively.

"Boy, what the hell did you get... Why am I seeing double?" asked Bobby, having heard Dean's voice.

"Dad, meet Sam Winchester. Some asshole angel dumped me in an alternate Earth, so I dragged a few strays back. We're trying to figure out what to call Sammy's double," said Dean.

Bobby looked at Sam Winchester.

"I take it you were raised by John?" he asked carefully. Sam Winchester nodded miserably.

"How about Henry? It was the name of Ellen's husband," said Bobby.

"Better than Sam...and there's no way he can turn it into a girl's name," said the newly named Henry Singer.

"How about Henrietta?" said Dean innocently. Henry kicked Dean hard in the shin. Dean started hopping on one foot.

"Bitch."

"Jerk," said Henry without hesitation.

"Boys, knock it off...at least until after we've eaten some of Dean's cooking," said Sam tiredly. He wanted to sleep for a week.

"Damn straight," said Bobby. Gabriel appeared behind Bobby, nearly giving the man a heart attack in the process, and made a show of dusting himself off.

"Dropped him off with Sirius. Should have seen the waterworks, but I told him the basic gist of what happened. Fortunately it seems that timeline synced up enough with the one we took him from, so they didn't need any help reconnecting. He's now the official babysitter for the kids so Siri and Hel can go out on dates and the cook of the Roadhouse," said Gabriel.

"Mom will be happy. Orders for food went down when I quit acting as the official cook," said Dean snorting.

"Which means you'll be the one to tell them about the double and the new cook," said Bobby.

"Considering I recently told Jo where I got that scrambled egg recipe everyone loves so much and the first thing she demanded was details, I think they won't care," said Dean flippantly.

Sam paled.

"She actually asked for details?"

"Sammy, this is a girl who owns a lot of vampire and leopard-shifter smut that is actually decent to read. She also happens to be a yaoi fan girl who hasn't had a date in over a year. So yes, she demanded details," said Dean calmly.

Henry snorted.

"I bet you twenty bucks the first thing she does upon seeing Harry is flirt with him," said Henry.

"Hell, I bet a hundred they end up dating! They're not that far apart in age and I know he wouldn't leave her for another girl!" said Dean confidently.

The second Harry Potter ran into Joanna 'Jo' Harvelle, he would definitely fall for the bossy girl. The fact she had accepted Dean and Sam as her brothers meant she was as loyal to family as they were. In short, she wouldn't cheat on him like Ginny had.

"Food first, then talk! Luc is driving us all batty!" said Bobby.

Henry stiffened when he saw Lucifer in the library reading one of Bobby's reference tomes. Lucifer took one look at him and then at Dean.

"You had to drag back strays?"

"So long as you don't take him over like your alternate did, we're good. Had to give your other self a pointed lesson on family."

"How bad?"

"He ripped Gabriel's wings to shreds, and when Gabriel went home Micheal tore up his grace but good. Sam barely got to him in time."

Lucifer's eyes flashed.

"Micheal and my alternate hurt Gabriel? The most beloved of the arch angels?" he hissed.

Sam didn't try to run when Lucifer sent his grace towards the angel hiding inside him. It took a full five minutes for Gabriel to realize this wasn't the same Lucifer.

He left the connection open to the arch angel so Lucifer could help him heal the broken Gabriel. Sam vaguely heard the same crooning he had been humming for Gabriel each night to ease the nightmares away.

* * *

Jo Harvelle went into the kitchen, expecting Dean to be there with all the delicious smells inside. It had been months since she came home, and Ellen was enjoying some quality time with the pagan kids and one half-werewolf. Instead she froze at the sight of the absolutely _handsome_ British man cooking for a relatively small army outside. The man turned, green eyes so hauntingly reminiscent of Dean staring back.

Unlike Dean, this man didn't have the playful look of overprotective big brother in his eyes. He actually looked more tired in spirit than anything.

"Did you need anything?" he asked with a slight Scottish lilt.

"Actually I was expecting my brother back here. Usually when the kitchen smells this good he's the one cooking," she admitted.

Recognition came into his eyes.

"You're Joanna," he said.

"Call me Jo," she said. God, she felt like a teenaged girl with her first crush! He was way hotter than her first boyfriend!

"My name's Harry."

Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Dean had explained about the whole double soul thing and how his past life hadn't been so great...which was why he asked Death to reincarnate him.

"Harry _Potter_?" she asked tentatively.

From the look on his face, he clearly expected her to demand and autograph or gush about what a hero he was. He wasn't expecting her to sweep him into a rather strong hug.

"Okay, now I see why Dean refuses to talk about his past life if someone recognizing you causes _that_ reaction," she said. She noticed him tensing when she hugged him, something she was determined to remedy.

Sensing his confusion, Jo grinned at him.

"Dean didn't tell you? The Harry Potter of this world asked Death if reincarnation was possible and Death decided to put him in the one body no one expected. It's why he ran away and became Dean Harvelle," said Jo.

"Dean Harvelle was originally me. That explains quite a bit actually."

Ellen had come in and was observing this little exchange. If her daughter fell for the man Dean was before he became her son, she had no problem with it. If this Harry Potter was anything like Dean, he would go to hell and back for those he cared about.

* * *

Raphael was sweating. The angel had sensed Dean's return and knew the man was pissed. He only hoped Winchester never found out who had thrown him into that alternate Earth.

His luck ran out when he felt something latch onto his grace, followed by dragon fire breaking the 'ground' beneath him. He fell, hard, onto the Earth. Standing before him was a very pissed off dragon the angels had begun to call Godzilla for reasons he never understood.

_Consider this payback for hurting Castiel and trying to kill me in an Earth not my own, asshole,_ it growled in his mind.

Dragon fire consumed his grace, destroying nearly every bit of his being. He barely escaped with his life, though four of his six wings were completely destroyed. He would be lucky if they ever grew back, considering the flames cauterized the wounds. Raphael did his best and barely managed to fly back into heaven, where he collapsed from the strain. It would be weeks before Micheal would get the full story from him.

* * *

Annadriel was running for her life. She had thought that Harvelle wouldn't remember her. Would never know she had helped torture Castiel for choosing a human over heaven. That hope was crushed when she felt something latch onto her grace and yank her down, vessel and all, back to Earth.

She barely noted the black unicorn that ran alongside her. All she cared about was the massive black behemoth flying above her, waiting for the vessel to tire before it burned her essence into nothing.

A great black panther with deep blue eyes ran ahead, it's lope eating the distance in front of her with ease. The eyes condemned her as it judged her soul unworthy. If she didn't know any better, she would swear that cat was Castiel.

The dragon landed gracefully, tucking wings behind it. It growled, acid dripping from it's fangs as it stared into Annadriel's soul.

She screamed into the night as acid ate away her wings, her grace being sealed inside the human form. When it was over she reached behind her back, only to feel blinding pain of where her four wings had been. She was well and truly human now. She wept for the loss of her wings.

* * *

Uriel sneered at the Winchester. He didn't know how the human had tracked him down, or why he thought he had a chance against a seraph, but he would kill the man if he tried anything.

That arrogance lasted for all of two seconds when he felt Lucifer and Gabriel behind him. They were pretty angry.

"Going somewhere...brother?" purred Lucifer.

"I think it's time we retaught you to respect your superiors," agreed Gabriel, glaring.

"But you were dead!"

"No, I went into hiding. See I don't exactly appreciate the blatant disrespect you showed me while we went to stop Samhain from rising...at least Castiel had the sense to keep his mouth shut," said Gabriel glaring.

Uriel was really sweating now.

"You guys good or do we recreate the Hunt again?" asked Dean.

"We'll handle this one. Killing an angel is more than enough for your resume Dean-o," said Gabriel.

Dean made sure to chuckle evilly as he said loudly for Uriel's benefit "Raphael and Zachariah screamed real good when I got my claws into them. And Annadriel won't be flying any century soon."

The seraph looked at Dean wide eyed in horror. He was the one who nearly killed the arch angel?!

"Have fun you two~!" Dean said as he left. Lucifer and Gabriel descended upon the seraph with evil looks in their eyes.

* * *

Chuck winced as he felt the fourth angel being attacked. To be fair, they had brought it upon themselves when they harmed Castiel. Dean didn't suffer that sort of thing lightly, and his dragon would demand some sort of vengeance. At least he only killed one and left the other three permanently traumatized. Then again Zachariah had brought Dean's wrath upon himself. Raphael was just lucky he was able to salvage even one set of wings.

Uriel? Well he was lucky Lucifer and Gabriel weren't in the mood to kill him, since Dean left that punishment up to them.


End file.
